Since communication these days is steeped in texting, email, FB, Twitter, LinkedIn, article responses and so on, I decided to share my observation over the years of the breakdown in communication because of all this technology.
Perception seems to be the key in creating tension and stress throughout the dialogs in posts and within conversations in the various social media platforms.
If a hundred-people read my post or my comment, not everyone will agree with what I have said. Some will understand what my points are, others will totally misinterpret, twisting and turning the information in a way that creates heated discussions.
This is freedom of speech. Or so we believe.
What I have discovered:
In the written word, we are not capable of hearing intonation, seeing body language, or feeling the emotional resonance associated with the conversation.
When there are multiple comments in a thread, what shows up may not be directed towards me. It could have been directed towards someone else’s statement. Most people do not indicate who they are “talking” to; therefore, I can incorrectly assume it was intended for me.
If someone is living life from a foundation of pessimism, doom & gloom, victimhood or the world is out to get them; my comments or statements can be interpreted in a negative way. Versus, someone who is living life from a foundation of optimism, positive outlook or personal development for growth and transformation; their perception will be totally different.
My response to the various reactions to what is written is key to how I proceed in my own daily experiences. Not allowing other’s perceptions to get in the way of my own.
I recently had an experience where I read an excellent article about being consistent in doing things to be successful. I found the article to be in alignment with how I think and believe in what it takes for us to reach our highest potential.
I mentioned some success I’ve had using the principles mentioned in the article and thanked the author for sharing his insights, letting him know I enjoyed reading what he had written. After my post was a negative comment, with no mention of who it was meant for.
This caused me to go through a mini-process of sorting through core thinking while wondering if it was directed towards me or not. The following are the stages my mind flipped through ultimately settling into peace realizing I was allowing this person’s perception to interfere with my perception.
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Stage 1: My heart skipped a beat, because I don’t like negativity in my life. When it comes into my experience, I must step back and assess the situation.
Stage 2: I re-read my post and the comment. Affirming to myself that in all that I do my intention is always for the best outcome, the best interest of all involved, for inspiration or uplifting, and for helping others learn, grow, or expand. I took time to pause and allow my mind to sort through all that it was collecting and processing.
Stage 3: As an observer now of the experience, rather than a participator, I could get it out of my head; letting go of wondering why, if it was targeted at me, there was such a negative response. A knowing started to wash over me that there will be some people who will see things in a way not intended.
Stage 4: I then considered what I would have preferred the response to have been. Something like this would have been encouraging rather than dis-empowering (which it is was for me, just for a few moments). “That is wonderful you are having success and what he has shared is working for you in addition to what you bring to your clients.”
Stage 5: I resolved within me all feelings attached to the statement, whether it was meant for me or not, and focused on the fact that even if someone cannot be happy for other’s success, misinterpret what I share and choose to attack, I need to stay on my path. [/message] [su_spacer]
This mini-process lasted about 15-20 minutes, but has had a tremendous effect on how I will now view conversations with others and when I feel “attacked,” how I will respond both internally and externally. We deal daily with written communication and this process can be applied in social media and in the work environment.
As many people believe, “don’t get mad, get even.” I suggest, “don’t get mad, rise above.” Decide to alter how you perceive the circumstance, and your experience will change for the better.
“People see what they want to see and what people want to see never has anything to do with the truth.”