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Your Only Limit Is You

Like most other creatives, I struggle with self-sabotage, self-doubt, and feeling like an imposter more often than not.  I struggle with expressing myself because it does sometimes feel easier or safer not to.

  – Jeff Jarvis

Everything is negotiable, you have a right to stand up and say, “this doesn’t work for me”.  If you want to make changes in your relationships with friends or family; lay down rules at work to how you are treated; get out of the debt that is ruining your life, or any other situation that has become just too much – you have to do a reality check on yourself.  It is an inside job.  I know that it sounds like that isn’t the answer, but our self-sabotaging patterns set us up to get the same experiences over and over, designed to keep us in our comfort zone.  You might think it is the “other” person who is making us miserable.  But you have to stand up and start asking for what you want, not what the self-sabotaging habits are telling you that you deserve.

This is how women self-sabotage and self-destruct.  Unless we have constant witnesses to our hard work, we are convinced we pull off every day of our lives through smoke and mirrors.

  – Sarah Ban Breathnach

I spent my entire childhood both trying to be the perfect child, and trying to do whatever my mother was failing to do with my siblings.  I became the mom I thought we should have.  I was the “one” my mother would constantly tell me she could count on.  The hidden message that I had gotten from my mom was that if I was too much trouble if I made any waves at all, she might divorce me too.  She was married five times, so that was my social proof my fear was real.

You create self-confidence by

doing instead of procrastinating.

doing instead of over-planning.

doing instead of self-sabotaging.

doing instead of complaining.

doing instead of feeling sorry for yourself.

  – unknown

One day I decided that wasn’t going to buy into my story anymore.  I changed my expectations one inner dialogue at a time.  Whenever I felt the spotlight, I turned into it instead of away from it.  When I got the criticisms, instead of letting it beat me up, I said: “today I am a mirror to their problems and they are finding their own faults in me”.  I looked critically at what was said or done (like if the silver spoon had any spots that needed polishing) and thought, ok – “if one thing in this dialogue might be even partly true, what would it be”?  Then I would see if I could find that thread in my self sabotaging pattern and work on just unraveling that single thread and let the rest of the editorial go into recycling.

This is a reminder to myself that I don’t have to be negative, or worry, or argue, or self-sabotage.

It’s ok to be happy and to have fun and to just enjoy life.

Seriously.

  – Hanna Anerod

I started creating self-confidence and owning who I am, and that who I am is a “perfectly imperfect” person.  I will make mistakes.  I will have failures.  Spellcheck will fail me.  My grammar will drive someone crazy. Even though I read through this blog 20 times, it will still have some mistake.  And someone who isn’t putting themselves out there like I am will catch it for me.  And I will say thank you because I still want this to be perfect, even if I’m not.  I will grow by stepping outside of my comfort zone.  I will have huge successes.  I continue to worry about loving myself and I will keep letting go of the feeling that everyone else has to love me too or I am not worthy.

At some point in your life, you’re going to have to start demanding what you deserve and be willing to walk away if what you require can’t be provided.

  – R.H. Sin

Interpret this quote only to how you treat yourself – amazing to put a different spin on something that was written for those outside of you.  Demand your inner voice, your patterns, your self-sabotaging habits start listening to what is acceptable in terms of the inner you.  To actually completely engage in a life of self-exploration, you need to get curious.  To ask questions that dig deep into the soul level.  To unravel one thread after another.  If you want to go beyond the surface of answering these questions, join us in our next “Catching The Perfect Wave” online course.  We dive deeply into exploring transformation and listening to our soul’s voice with weekly group calls to go beyond the simple answers and explore what we all have hiding beneath the surface.

Sheryl Silbaugh
Sheryl Silbaughhttp://lemonademakers.org/
SHERYL Silbaugh is a writer, speaker, and transformational coach. She is a Director at Bank of America. She is the founder of LemonadeMakers.org created to inspire people to transform grief into gold. In April 2010, Sheryl suffered the loss of her nephew, who was randomly killed by a gang member. The idea of LemonadeMakers came from her grief. She experienced firsthand the creative power of transformation. She started a small Facebook presence that has grown from 500 followers in July 2015 to over 47,300 in March 2017. She demonstrates how to take life’s lemons and make lemonade. She is a skilled guide for those experiencing transition or loss. When we let go of what no longer serves us, and open ourselves to our soul’s calling, we uncover the treasures of our experience and can let the rest blow away on the winds of healing. She aims to support people to create transformation in every area of their lives. She provides insights on how to collaborate together to manifest their dreams in The LemonadeMakers Club. She teaches how to explore our inner and outer world to see what needs to be transformed. She is gifted in her ability to see patterns in human behavior and asks just the right questions to start unlocking the doors to your life purpose and the unique personal genius that we all have. Her book, “Timeless Treasures” will be published the summer of 2017, a collection of over 90 essays on transformation.
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