Why do we believe the negative stories that our ego offers up every time life doesn’t go as we expect or desire?
Stories like: ‘I’m not enough; There is something wrong with me; I can’t do it’. These inner stories are not true, and they generate the negative feelings we have about ourselves, others, and the world. Here is the fascinating part – when we were young, these stories served a critical purpose for many of us. As children, we were wholly dependent on others to get our needs met for many years. The reality is, most of us faced some form of emotional, physical, or mental trauma when our needs were not met. When we didn’t get what we wanted, or we got something we didn’t want, it was too terrifying to see our caregivers as the reason. It meant our very survival was at risk if we couldn’t depend on them. The ego came in to help us with this dilemma by helping our young mind focus on something that we DID have control over – ourselves. This is where these stories – lies – were born.
If the reason you are not getting your needs met is about you, then you can do something about it.
Believing the ego’s lie taught us to focus on fixing, improving, or changing ourselves until we were acceptable enough to get our needs met by others. Many of us never learned how to see through the ego’s lie in order to turn inward for the love, acceptance, nourishment, and peace we desired. Our ego keeps us focused on reconciling the original story (I’m not OK the way I am) to keep us protected from pain. While the ego’s approach may seem like a twisted way to support you, it worked when you were young. Now, the ego doesn’t know that it’s no longer helpful until you challenge and replace its story with the truth.
Once you have felt the feelings without judging them, the energy from the old story releases and you can see the lie for what it is.
The truth is that many of our caregivers couldn’t give us what they didn’t have to give. Their own experiences of neglect, abandonment, rejection, loneliness, or other pain, made them unable to provide the unconditional present-time attention that all children need to thrive. They never received it or learned where to look for it within, so they couldn’t provide it to us, or guide us to our own inner-connection. Recognizing that truth may bring up some old trapped anger, sadness, or fear that has never had a chance to be acknowledged. Allowing yourself to let the energy move through fully can tip the scales of power inside your mind. Once you have felt the feelings without judging them, the energy from the old story releases and you can see the lie for what it is. When it arises again (and it will!), you can challenge it (is that really true right now?), and take charge inside with a better story that is based in the truth of who you are.
The ego will relax when we have a better story to tell that feels safe and protective to our inner child. That really is all the ego wants for us – to feel safe and protected regardless of what others are doing. If you have a better way, and clearly let the ego know this is what you are focusing on now, it will follow your lead.
There is a larger dance going on and your soul RSVP’d a long time ago. Each one of us came here to share our unique expression and light as part of the whole we are becoming together. It’s time, to tell the truth to our ego when it tries its old stories to keep you safe. You are exactly what is needed, exactly as you are in this dance upon the earth. Time to remind your ego of what is true about you.
How will you honor the truth about yourself today?