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You Are the Authority

What is it that has us give our inner authority away to others? Instead of focusing on what is best for us, why do we seek out the answers/validation/approval from others assuming they know better than we do? We may have given our authority away to our parents, our teachers, our bosses, our spouses, our friends, and even our children. How did we lose trust in ourselves?

As children, we were dependent on others to help us navigate and succeed in the physical world. As young children, we were told by our caregivers when to sleep, eat, what to wear, say, and how to behave. Unless we were guided back into ourselves and supported in making our own choices as we grew and developed, we never learned to become our own inner authority.

To make matters worse, many of us learned that when we do act on our inner authority, we are rejected, abandoned, neglected, manipulated, criticized, or shamed by others. Not only does this add an additional layer to our dysfunctional relationship with ‘authority,’ but it also fuels our fear of disconnection from others if we take our authority back.

Shifting the power back to our inner authority requires us to recognize when we give it away, turn within to acknowledge what we want instead, and then act on what is best for us by giving ourselves what we are afraid of losing from others.

For example, when my husband was in the hospital, I desperately needed a couple of days to recharge my own battery. While I wanted to do what was most loving for me, I was afraid I would be shamed by the nurses, some of my friends, and my husband for not visiting or being ‘available’ to him for 2 days. I was afraid he would be upset and abandon me emotionally when I went to visit again. This time, I stopped to acknowledge that I needed a break to refill my own cup. Instead of abandoning myself, I let my husband know what I was doing and how it was so healing for me. I let my inner child know that her needs are my highest priority, and in doing what was best for me, I took back my inner authority.

When I take the time to check-in and recognize what is happening inside of me, I am able to tune in to the fact that I know best what I need moment-to-moment. When I act on what is most loving for me, I find my way back to myself

Wendy Watson-Hallowell | The Belief Coach
Wendy Watson-Hallowell | The Belief Coachhttps://www.belief-works.com/
WENDY is passionate about enabling individuals, organizations and communities to value themselves and each other in the ongoing process of change. Wendy has guided hundreds of individuals and over 750+ public and private sector organizations to achieve tangible increases in impact and performance. Her successful practice in mentoring and coaching has led to authorship of the book, ‘Live a Life You Love and Make a Living Doing It’. Over the last 30 years, Wendy’s skills have been honed in leadership roles at MTV Networks, The Rensselaerville Institute, and a variety of community based projects in her town. In 2015 she launched BeliefWorks and offers Belief Coaching as a way to address the root cause of what limits the results we can achieve both personally and professionally. This is an 'upstream' solution to change. Instead of changing limiting behavior, she focuses on changing the limiting beliefs that drive that behavior. In all cases, her clients and partners speak to the specific increases in achievement that her consulting, coaching and partnership roles make possible.

2 COMMENTS

  1. Decisions based on the mind, the fruit of reasoning, bring nothing healthy. You have to trust your body, what matters inside. This has to do with internal authority, that place in our design that will always give us the ability to decide our “yes” or “no” reliably and safely to enter an experience or not.
    In this way everything becomes easier for us, we will no longer have to believe or hope. We will be able to identify exactly where we can make decisions with confidence.
    Through empowerment, the individual recovers his power through the affirmation of internal authority.

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