I know… Change is hard for everyone. We all like to feel safe, which prevents us from going after our dreams. I want to do this but it will be hard, it will require so much work, it will disturb my life, it will shift my comfort zone. It will affect my relationships with people around me, like my spouse, my kids, my family, my friends.
Disturbing still waters, making waves, changing things for yourself, and affecting others’ lives by making that change brings the feeling of guilt. OK, you have made up your mind, followed your dream, but at the cost of what? Was it selfish doing that? Think this way: you live only once, and not one minute of your life will repeat itself. You are a precious, magnificent, divine being. And if you feel butterflies in your stomach, an extreme excitement, an absolute sureness that it will be the best thing you have ever done all your life when you think about your goal, your plan, your ideal, then I would say; ‘Go for it”
I am not saying; “Do not care about anybody”, what I am saying is; “Put yourself first for once.” Explain your loved ones gently, let them understand that if you take this road, it will be the best for everyone.
Instead of being unhappy in a miserable life, avoiding the difficulty of shaking the boat and take the risk, go wherever your intuition and your heart takes you.
Believe me, when you do that, you will be happy, and when you are happy, your loved ones will eventually feel happy too, as happiness is contagious. So as the year progresses, I dare you, to start that little home-based business, or to end that consuming relationship, or to plan that trip you were putting away due to other family members’ needs or other priorities. Whatever you want to do, just do it! Be brave, you can do it.
I, myself, did it a few times so far actually; I left my home country and moved to Canada, ended my first marriage when I had very limited resources, and now my husband and I moved to another city and started a new life here. Because my motto has always been; “If one person could do it, I can do it too”. I am strong, and I do not mind starting over. On the contrary, new beginnings are good and exciting.
I hope you find your new beginning too, this coming year. I am here for you, sending you positive vibes. And, I love you.
Having a stable self is reassuring, it makes us feel like individuals with continuity over time. But it has a price: it requires consistency, that is, that we act, in the present, similar to how we have done in the past. For this reason, we seek familiar experiences and are averse to new ways of thinking. Thus, however, we end up closed in a limited vision of ourselves and of the world.
The self is opposed to change, it opposes it. Changing always means, at least a little, acting against: it is a sort of leap in the dark because it requires us to abandon certainties consolidated over years of habitual actions and thoughts, to accept to lose that part of us to which, however much it is a source of suffering, we are clinging with all our strength. In short, it presupposes the willingness to give up the reassuring protection of a certain way of thinking. This is not easy, even when it is clear to us that our beliefs are the main ones responsible for how we feel.
Change is possible. As human beings we can do this at any age. But authentic change is slow, it is consolidated only with the exercise of new behaviors and thoughts, alternatives to previous ones; it is the result of a choice that, even if it can be influenced from the outside, must be made spontaneously. And most importantly, it is based on values and not on fleeting emotions or feelings. Only what one truly believes can motivate one to commit to subverting decades-old patterns. We can only change when we become aware of the fact that our way of being or doing contrasts with something we strongly want.
Dearest Ineke,
I cannot express my gratitude for getting such a marvellously amazing comment of yours. My goal was exactly that. Starting a fire in anyone who reads my article. And it gives me extreme happiness to see that I’ve reached my goal. Because my article made a shift in your mind.
To me, if even one person could get something from my writing, it’s a huge win. And, you had. I hope this reaches many more people but because it has reached you, I have a great reason to feel victorious.
Thank you. I love you.
Wow Ipek, what a great inspiring and motivating post!!
Thank you so much for this tremendous uplifting share!
I really do feel so much joy Ipek, after reading this, again and again, haha.
I also can feel your sincere compassion towards others, who are in dubio thinking about it.
To Jump! And to take that leap of faith.
And I so love and admire your growth-mindset:
“Because my motto has always been; “If one person could do it, I can do it too”. I am strong, and I do not mind starting over. On the contrary, new beginnings are good and exciting.
I hope you find your new beginning too, this coming year. I am here for you, sending you positive vibes. And, I love you”
Very powerful!
Thank you Ipek!
Dearest Ineke,
I cannot express my gratitude for getting such a marvellously amazing comment of yours. My goal was exactly that. Starting a fire in anyone who reads my article. And it gives me extreme happiness to see that I’ve reached my goal. Because my article made a shift in your mind.
To me, if even one person could get something from my writing, it’s a huge win. And, you had. I hope this reaches many more people but because it has reached you, I have a great reason to feel victorious.
Thank you. I love you.