Words & Music Mismatch

What is it that has us believe the words that another says while ignoring the energy of those saying them?

When the words and the energy don’t match, those words can’t manifest as reality. Yet, so many of us hang onto the promises of others, even when the energy of how they were delivered didn’t match. For instance, when someone is ‘forced’ to apologize for something they don’t feel sorry for – they may say the words “I’m Sorry”, yet the words don’t match the disdain, disregard, disrespect, and resentment in the energy of the person saying them. The words mean that the person is sorry for what they did or didn’t do/say, and there is no remorse or openness in the energy that would match the words of apology. This person still feels angry, controlled, aggressive, and ashamed and the words and music (energy) don’t match.

We have been trained to disconnect the words from the energy in our minds, even when our insides are raising alarm bells at the mixed messages we are receiving.

As children, many of us were punished for questioning our caregiver’s words when we noticed a mixed message. We may have been re-directed, told what we felt or heard wasn’t true, or at worst punished when we questioned the contrast between the words and the energy we felt. As a result, many of us have learned to trust the words, even when the energy doesn’t match. This shows up repeatedly when our spouses, bosses or children make the same promise to clean up the room, agree to the meeting, or take a vacation, yet nothing ever changes in their behavior. If we could feel the dissonance between their words and the energy when they make the promise, we would go a little deeper into the conversation instead of assuming/expecting/hoping they will live up to the words.

The other way we may handle it is to simply ignore the words and just tune into the energy. One of the most prominent places I see this type of disconnection today is in the big pharma commercials on TV. The images, the music, and the people are so joyful and happy and fulfilled, while the words (both in audio and in the small print at the bottom of the screen) speak about all of the dangers and side effects of consuming the product. A HUGE mismatch between words and energy, yet we want to feel good like those people do in the commercials so we make the association the advertiser is looking for. Trained to separate the words from the energy, we ‘tune out’ the words.

It’s time to bring your attention to both the words and the energy to make sure they resonate in harmony together before deciding what is true for you.

You can feel the energy of the words being spoken if you pay attention to how you feel when you hear the message.  The only ‘truth’ is the one that resonates within you. No one else can determine this for you. If someone says they are sorry to me, and I can feel how pissed off they still are, I often ignore the words and focus on the energy by asking them how they are feeling. As you begin to pay attention to both the words and the energy, as you watch TV, surf the internet and interact with others, notice where the words and the energy match, and where there is a mismatch (try it with political figures!). Nothing to change or fix, just notice how it really is.

As you observe this experience within you, your ego may jump in and tell you that:

  • what you feel is not OK and you should just trust the words, (mind)

 or it may tell you that

  • who cares what’s being said, it all feels great (energy).

Neither of those perspectives alone gives you all the information – we need them both. It’s time to let your emotions (energy in motion) and your mind work together to help you notice and respond to what is and isn’t in alignment with the messages you are given. Including the messages, you listen to inside from the ego.

What do we do when we notice the disconnection? We acknowledge it to ourselves, and if it makes sense, we acknowledge it to others. Then we choose to do what feels most loving to us given the way things really are. For instance, my need to know what is going on in the world is important, yet I don’t want to be fed fearful stories from the news media. I find out what is important to me through internet news sources that resonate with what is important to me and don’t generate fear within me. If someone is sarcastic with me and tells me I’m being too sensitive when I acknowledge that their humor doesn’t feel good, I can choose to continue the interaction or not. I can tell them how it feels to me when they do it, how it feels controlling and critical instead of funny and humorous. When we trust our feelings and the energy we are experiencing when we hear/read the words, we can decide what is really true for us in what is being communicated and take care of ourselves accordingly.

Where are the words and music not matching in your life?


Wendy Watson-Hallowell | The Belief Coach
Wendy Watson-Hallowell | The Belief Coach
WENDY is passionate about enabling individuals, organizations and communities to value themselves and each other in the ongoing process of change. Wendy has guided hundreds of individuals and over 750+ public and private sector organizations to achieve tangible increases in impact and performance. Her successful practice in mentoring and coaching has led to authorship of the book, ‘Live a Life You Love and Make a Living Doing It’. Over the last 30 years, Wendy’s skills have been honed in leadership roles at MTV Networks, The Rensselaerville Institute, and a variety of community based projects in her town. In 2015 she launched BeliefWorks and offers Belief Coaching as a way to address the root cause of what limits the results we can achieve both personally and professionally. This is an 'upstream' solution to change. Instead of changing limiting behavior, she focuses on changing the limiting beliefs that drive that behavior. In all cases, her clients and partners speak to the specific increases in achievement that her consulting, coaching and partnership roles make possible.

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