Wisdom Gleaned from A Ninja Child

I continue to practice going to neutral before responding to someone. This internal pause allows me to access many possible responses. Later I can flow out any lingering residual hurt, pain of the past in safe ways that do not hurt me or other people. I know what activities bring me inner fulfillment, joy, and peace. I spend my life energy on activities that bring me joy.

I learned practices that support my healings and transformations including yoga, tai chi, meditation, quiet walks, journaling, gratitude journaling, clearing physical clutter, eating really healthy food, hydrating, exercising in ways that are fun for me, eliminating contact with toxic people of all types, and connecting with high quality, self-aware individuals. I know how to engage with healthy practices that have me thrive.

I know how to reach out to healers and professionals for support knowing that high-quality people exist in our world. I trust and cherish these individuals.

I learned that I cannot give away what I don’t have on the inside and that other people cannot give something they do not have to give. I finally realized that no matter how many times I walked into the furniture store looking for ice cream, I will only find furniture. I practice radical acceptance every single day of hard and meaningful truths.

What have you learned from relationships with difficult people? What are you learning about yourself, your past, healing, and transformations? What has opened up in your life and relationships as you bring an end to unhealthy patterns of reactivity and engage healthier ways of responding?

May you discover that you are love, beauty, and courage. May you cultivate inside of you all the contents of your character from this day forward. May you create who you want to be from your essential, beautiful, creative, imaginative, precious self. May you know in your bones that you matter, that you are loved more than you can even imagine.

Laura Staley
Laura Staley
The founder of Cherish Your World, Laura Staley passionately helps people thrive by guiding them to a holistic transformation of space, heart, mind, body, and soul. Laura knows that there’s a relationship between the conditions of our homes or workplaces and the quality of our lives. Trained and certified with the Western School of Feng Shui and seasoned by almost two decades of working with a variety of clients, Laura uses her intuition and expertise to empower her clients to produce remarkable results in their lives. Her trifecta of serving people includes speaking, writing, and compassionate listening. As a columnist, Laura writes personal essays focused on self-discovery, feng shui, emotional health, and transformations from the inside out. Laura is the published author of three books: Live Inspired, Let Go Courageously and Live with Love: Transform Your Life with Feng Shui, and the Cherish Your World Gift Book of 100 Tips to Enhance Your Home and Life. Prior to creating her company, Laura worked as a fulltime parent and an assistant professor at Ohio Wesleyan University. She earned a Ph.D. in political science from The Ohio State University. Her joys in life include laughing with loved ones, dancing, reading, meditating, running, being in nature, and listening to music she loves. She resides in Black Mountain, NC with lovable dog, Layla. Laura is a contributing author to the inspiring book Crappy to Happy: Sacred Stories of Transformational Joy


  1. Oh, Paula, thank you so much for all you’ve shared here-which has me clear that I’m not alone. I appreciate your insights and the celebration of our healings/transformations-really empowering to come through the storms (especially with a parent-a mother, father, or both-or caregiver). Once again, I read an article that spoke (blindly) to this presumption that all children experience unconditional love and this period of innocence. I find myself feeling a bit rankled with wanting to continue bursting this Untruth-Myth-Belief to which other people hold so tightly. Alas, I chose to honor this writer’s perspective -but I did write “some children.” to hopefully send a cue that not all children have this experience. The lessons learned from difficult people (especially TS parents can endure for a lifetime. Thank goodness for resilience, post-traumatic growth, and people along the way who did see, hear, and value us (even if we struggled to see these decent, loving people because we were (0r I was!)sometimes so myopically focused on earning the love of a parent that we walk around blind to all the other adults who have been loving us-as children and as adults! Big hug to you soul sister. Grateful beyond words…..

  2. Laura… I hope you know by now and I’ve said it. How much I love you. This essay is a showcase of resilience, strength, forgiveness and compassion….basically it is a testament to survival in one if the greatest forms. A child is pure and innocent. They are un condemnable. You endured what many have not and still struggle with. The inner bully a mother charges is not your best friend. I’m so glad you found self love and compassion in a high degree. The severity may be different but I can definitely flip some of these feelings towards my father. He set the tone for me to follow in not feeling of any value and walked right into a life of abuse too. Setting my boundaries and learning to love me allowed me to find the peace I needed to really truly live. Sometimes I fall back…but this love picks me up. I’m with you in my souls sister. Big hug. I’m so excited to know you and no, you are not alone…❤️❤️❤️