Wiping Away the Condensation

As some of you may know, last week I unearthed a post from my drafts folder and brought it back to life. It was a 2-year-old post and it just felt right to give it some love and attention – finally. And today, I find myself there again. Revisiting the maybe someday post moratorium.

Now, I admit, I’ve been a bit blue lately. It’s winter in New England, and although I’m okay with the weather most of the time, I hate feeling so confined. But more than that, I really long for my normal workout routine and not my modified winter one. I guess you could say I’ve been experiencing some discontent, and perhaps it is this discontent that brings me back to that folder. That ever so quiet nudge that says “open me.”

When I looked at the date of the draft it was from last March. As I read through the post, I clearly remember the day that I wrote it and what inspired it. It was a weekday, lunchtime to be exact and I had gone out to grab a bite to eat. The weather was typical for that time of year: grey, dreary and a bit of rain and snow falling ever so slightly. Just enough to make it wet and messy; and for me to regret that I had on boots with 3” heels. I can remember having to turn on my wipers to clear away the muck that had splashed up on my windshield from the car that had just sped by. And that’s when the idea for the post came to me.

Sometimes I get lost in the moment. That day happened to be one of those days. I’m always amazed at how something that seems so trivial can really turn out to be enlightening. I’m not sure what connected in that act of using the windshield wipers. But one thing was for sure. It reminded me of a time when I was afraid to clear away the so-called muck. And maybe, just maybe, in that instant I understood how all the pieces fit together.

And so I wrote the post below but I never published it. I could give you a million reasons why, but I’m pretty sure I covered that the last time. If you’re curious, you can find out why here.

Again, for me, it boils down to perspective and there are many ways in life that I’ve gained it. And there have been people who have helped me to understand it better too. People like you. The readers, the writers, the conversation starters and the passerby. The people who share their thoughts and their experiences and even those who don’t. Whether you know it or not, somewhere along the way you might be helping someone wipe away that condensation.

So here’s to the person who has a story to tell but isn’t sure whether or not to do so. Here’s to the person who really wants to write a comment and engage in conversation but hasn’t quite mustered the courage to do so. I say go ahead. Take the leap. Accept that voice that is telling you it’s okay to do it. Because you just never know.

As for me, if I hadn’t wiped away the condensation I’m not sure I’d have found my way here to share my stories with you.

___________________________________

Wiping Away the Condensation

Condensation filled the mirror. Yet I was not ready to wipe it away. For wiping it away meant seeing. Seeing meant accepting. And accepting meant change. And that was a trifecta that scared the hell out of me.

I had a professor in undergrad who once said: “if you cannot change something, then tolerate it.” Throughout the years, I’ve often reached for those words. While I felt that there was merit to what he said, I also gleaned new meaning; particularly with respect to change. After all, change is a powerful word and I am continually intrigued by its ability to evoke such a broad range of emotions.

For a long time, I practiced the latter part. I tolerated a toxic environment because I didn’t think I could change it. I tolerated my weight because excuses were easier. I tolerated the drama, chaos and numerous curve balls I found coming my way. And I tolerated the negativity that had besieged me; thereby fortifying a mindset that I couldn’t change things.

You see, what I failed to realize was that I could change things. Maybe not necessarily the circumstances, but I could certainly alter the manner in which I dealt with them.

I could change the way I think.

I could modify my habits to include a healthier lifestyle.

I could believe in me, my abilities and what I’m capable of.

I could think and say “I can” and “I will” instead of “I can’t” or “I won’t.”

And while I couldn’t eliminate the toxicity, I could certainly change the level with which I let it infect me.

Looking back, I was an enabler. I allowed my mindset to fester. It started out small and perhaps unintentional. But it was left unattended, it gained ground and then boom. Full-on inflammation! Crimson red and tender to the touch. Puffy, ugly, starting to seep. I couldn’t ignore it anymore. I had permitted it to enter and now I had to own it.

I had to own that I had let myself become someone other than who I recognized in the mirror. I became complacent in my quest for tolerance and neglected the power of change. I was lost in the intricacy of the maze and I needed to find my way out. I was finally ready to wipe away the condensation from the mirror and face me.

And once I did, I embarked on a cathartic journey – at times long and arduous but definitely worth the miles. I used to think that life had different plans for me. However, as it turns out, I had different plans for life.

Writing from the heart…always.

Thank you for meeting me here. Feel free to read, share, like, comment. Whatever you choose, I’m glad you stopped by.

Avatar
Laura Mikolaitishttps://bellasolwrites.blogspot.com/
Laura is an instinctive dot connector with a propensity for learning who seeks to maximize productivity and throws down challenges. Currently, she is the Director of Sales Operations for the Annie Selke Companies, a textile company located in the beautiful Berkshires of Massachusetts. It is here where she gets to put her top strengths to use and thrive in creativity. Laura hails from Northern NY, but a tiny hill town in Massachusetts is where she calls home. She credits her writing, which laid dormant for years, to her late mom who always believed in her. Inspired by millions of moments, Laura writes unabashedly from the heart. Whether it is poetry, fiction, or a personal essay, her love for the written word feeds her mind, body, and spirit. With a dash of hope and a sprinkle of faith, she is the little engine that could.
avatar
  Subscribe  
Notify of
Johnny Johnston

Very interesting. I love the ADHD manner in which you write. Made me think and look over my shoulder. Keep writing…..J

Anonymous
Anonymous

I enjoyed this thank you for sharing this story with us …..Larry Tyler

Laura Staley

Beautiful reminder that the shift happens on the inside of us- in the new choices we make, the brave letting go of what no longer serves our lives, the step into what does lift our hearts out of the murk, the muck. Wiping away that condensation does help us see clearly-like clearing some clutter in our physical spaces or our hearts. Jumping into the driver’s seat of our lives becomes such an empowering moment. Thank you for your courage, for inviting others to join the journey to heart/mind/body/soul liberation.

Melissa Hughes, Ph.D.

Laura, thank you so much for sharing this personal and powerful story. There are so many pieces of this that really resonate with me. I think everyone has been in the much and it’s easier to pretend we can’t see that thing right in front of us and often the obstacle to happiness, success, love, fill in the blank with whatever you chase. I know I’m guilty of it and sometimes it takes work and courage to step up and “wipe the condensation away” to see what is really there.

I’m glad that you pulled this one out of the dark and shared it with us!!

Jeff Ikler
Jeff Ikler

Sometimes seeds lie dormant in the ground for a long time. Thanks for watering this one.

Mary Schaefer

“I used to think that life had different plans for me. However, as it turns out, I had different plans for life.” Gorgeous writing, Laura. AND, thank you for sharing this story, not only the rescued post, but the intro too! “I became complacent in my quest for tolerance and neglected the power of change.” I can relate to this sentiment, and the resulting inflammation and pain. Thank you for helping me move just a bit, the needle on the gauge in my mind, toward self-empowerment.

JUST ONE CLICK HERE TO GET YOUR DAILY DOSE

REAL PEOPLE

Powerful voices from around the globe that speak to our shared human experience. May they inspire you and give you great hope.

JUST 1 CLICK

IS ALL IT TAKES TO LEARN SOMETHING NEW TODAY

Must Read

JUST 1 CLICK

IS ALL IT TAKES TO BEGIN ENJOYING OUR PODCASTS

JUST 1 CLICK

IS ALL IT TAKES TO EXPLORE OUR INSPIRING GLOBAL COMMUNITIES