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Why We Can’t All Just Get Along?

Vantage Points Header Joel ElvesonCongratulations America you (we) showed the world that our system of democracy works as a candidate freely chosen by the people of this country (in case you haven’t heard the news or read a newspaper but we are honored to have Donald Trump as our 45th President) was elected to the highest office in this country making him one of the most influential and powerful leaders in the world. Our system of democracy even allows for peaceful, non-violent to those who would have preferred Hillary Clinton or some other candidate be elected.

On the topic of peaceful or in many cases violent disagreement the question that is often asked is why can’t we all just get along? In an aquarian (aka utopian) type society which we are clearly not that question would be a moot point since everybody would indeed get along. Our world is ripe with strife from many different factions both home abroad that make this concept nothing more than a nice trip down memory lane to the days when hippies ran around preaching peace and love as being the answer to all of our troubles. That wasn’t the solution then and it is certainly not now.

It would serve the above concept well and promote its cause in some version if we learned to at least communicate in a civilized manner. This holds true for married couples, boyfriends, and girlfriends, expanding into political parties and ultimately world leaders. We don’t know how (sadly we may never learn) to talk to each other in a manner that excludes profanity-laced tirades, threats, and good old-fashioned yelling and screaming. Until this obstacle is overcome we will never all just get along which I am of the belief that can never and will never happen.

Rather than asking why we can’t all just get along, it might be more realistic to focus on (as alluded to above) improving our communication skills. If communication cannot be conducted in a manner that is conducive to constructive dialogue then chances of this 1960’s-ish concept, prospects of seeing the light of day are just about nil.

We live in a multi-cultural society that ideally should open many channels for learning about how we each believe, conduct our affairs and of course worship. As we all know there many of these cultures that strictly believe their way of life is the only way all people must live and will enthusiastically resort to violence (death is a way of life to them) in order to achieve that goal. This type of thought process that includes the murdering of innocent people, children and animals is yet another example why we can’t (and won’t) just all get along.

Children in pre-school have already learned the “art” of how not to get along as they have been in a sense trained or conditioned that this is the norm. Children left to their own innocence will learn how to get along albeit with conflicts. Although until they are “educated” by the peers or parents they see no color or know no religion which if you think about is a less than ideal situation as knowing your culture is so vitally important. I realize being equipped with that knowledge can lead to its own generation of problems but the need to know one’s religion, etc. cannot be diminished.

Please do not infer from my article that I take the position that violence and hatred are a natural part of our human society and that we should just accept that fact and go on with our lives. On the contrary, I believe we need to reject violence and hatred as they are not the large part of civilized society that they are reflecting themselves to be. My main point of contention is that we will never just simply all get along. While the thought is tantalizing it remains a far-fetched fantasy.

All it takes is a dying glow from a cigarette to ignite a fire. The same concept holds true for humankind. Going back to the biblical times of Adam & Eve they both got along harmoniously. Shortly after that, as the earth became more populated violence fueled by jealousy, etc. became increasingly common. It was evident by then that the concept of everybody simply getting along would not see the light of day.


Moving away from the topic of getting along I like so many others are still in mourning due to the loss of singer-songwriter, poet, and novelist Leonard Cohen passed away at age 82 last Thursday. Leonard Cohen was not easy to listen to with his raspy baritone voice and at times morose lyrics. Leonard Cohen’s many song styles were a testament to his brilliance. Despite his acclaim, Leonard Cohen was a very humble man. Although we have his songs to listen to that will carry on his legacy, it is onstage humor and warmth we will all miss. Below you will find some of the lines from one of his best songs. So much has been written lately about this man since he passed that there isn’t much I can add except to say I can feel a void in my life knowing one of my favorite singer-songwriters except for a forthcoming last album that will soon be released will never again grace us with his songs and the beauty of his soul.

Your eyes are soft with sorrow

Hey, that’s no way to say goodbye

I’m not looking for another as I wander in my time

Walk me to the corner, our steps will always rhyme

You know my love goes with you as your love stays with me

It’s just the way it changes like the shoreline and the sea

But let’s not talk of love or chains and things we can’t untie

Your eyes are soft with sorrow

Hey, that’s no way to say goodbye – Hey, That’s No Way To Say Goodbye

~Leonard Cohen

For those who don’t know much about the life and works of this gifted individual I highly suggest you do a Google search where you will come upon the treasure of music he created. His lyrics were ripe with images that forced you to think along with them in order to get their deep meaning.]

Leonard Cohen was matched only by early Bob Dylan in terms of lyrical content. The more I listened to Leonard Cohen and the more I listen to him the more I find hidden meaning in his songs. I hope you will take time to get to know this artist and his imprint on our lives.

Joel Elveson
Joel Elvesonhttps://jelveson.wixsite.com/recruitersite
INDEPENDENT Executive Recruiting By Joel is an "up and coming" Executive Search Firm formed and headed up by Joel Elveson whose visionary ideas, leadership & creativity have brought to life a more "user-friendly" approach to recruiting. His clients and candidates form powerful strategic partnerships that we use to help you. Joel’s Firm offers Permanent, Temporary (case by case), & Temporary To Permanent staffing solutions for all of your Human Capital Requirements. Contract IT/Consultants are available if needed. Above and beyond they are experts (by way of their personal industry work experience) with mortgage, mortgage banking, middle-market banking, accounting, along with many others under the vast financial spectrum of disciplines. Their business goes beyond candidate recruiting as they also train, mentor and develop your internal recruiting staff with an eye towards helping you reduce the cost of hiring. They will also work in areas such as compensation, effective onboarding processes and alike. In other words, their business is to help your business by becoming an extension of you by filling in gaps that cause delay or waste. The recruiting methods employed by Joel’s team are time tested that results in a high rate of successful placements. Joel was trained in the art of recruiting by some of the top staffing industry executives in addition to the best recruiter trainers who to this day drive me to exceed the lofty goals he has set forth.

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20 CONVERSATIONS

  1. Thank you, Joel, for this timely article. Whatever happened to ”let us agree to disagree?” I always appreciate your thoughtful articles and this does not disappoint to say the least. We are living in a period where if you disagree with a group who thinks a certain way you may be mocked or accused of something more egregious. As usual your wisdom has no bounds.💖

  2. So true and heartfelt, Joel. You confirm how far from old hat courtesy makes life so pleasant even in difficult situations. There is nothing cool in being rude, nothing admirable in having an attitude or being aggressive. Thank you for sharing.

    • Noemi. thank you for your comments. My parents taught me there is a right way and a wrong n.v f way to talk to talk to people. Even back then there were people who did not follow or believe in this concept. Where do our children learn some of these behaviors? They learn it everywhere. The scary part is now these arguments or differences of opinion are leading to people being shot and killed. It’s okay not to agree with somebody but when a gun is introduced into the equation troubled times have arrived. I wrote this article awhile ago. In light if the many disturbing and dangerous actions on the part of some people I thought it was time to raise this question again . All my best to you Noemi

  3. In the past we would stand up for someones right to feel and be what they wanted to be. Now they don’t want our support they insist that you believe what they believe, It is sad what our society has become. I find myself finding ways to stay more out in the country and stay away from cities.

    • Larry, I agree with what you are saying. Our society is in trouble even if some choose not to see it that way. There is peace and tranquillity outside of big cities like New York but you never know where there is a bubbling cauldron of hate somewhere out of site. I will not run noe hide. Instead I will place my trust in G-d. Thank you. Larry first your wisdom, intellect and if course for your comments.

  4. How we judge people makes us relate with them differently, do different things, and be able to create agreements rather than create contrasts. Perhaps it would be enough to judge less and see beauty in others more easily.
    In reality there is much more that we should all do: respect, less prejudice, patience, dialogue, solidarity, humility, less ego ….. should I go on?
    Of course, we must not accept the situation as unmodifiable or at least improved, we should at least try.
    But we have to practice every day!

  5. Joel – Your article, unfortunately, is so true. Since “learned minds” began to tell parents that they should never correct their children because it will hurt their self esteem, we have become a society if self centered people who have not learned how to engage constructively so violence is the go to defense. So sad to see a great nation crumbling.

  6. Oh Joel, what a beautiful article. Strong and so poignant too. I greatly appreciate the work of Leonard Cohen too! The message changes with every replay. It just keeps digging deeper. The simple words that grip your heart and surround your soul.
    “There is no right and there is no wrong, if only somehow we could get along… “ #opism.
    Thank you for this thought provoking article!
    Have a wonderful weekend…or at least think of one…
    Paula

    • Paula, thank you so much for your very kind words. I actually wrote this article sometime back but in light of recent outbreaks of hate-inspired violence in Jersey City, NJ not to mention all the other acts of violence and public hate word “festivals” I decided to republish it again with the faint hope it may help at least to a small degree.

  7. Joel, it’s sad that we can no longer agree to disagree without throwing insults or fists. I wrote a few similar threads like this on LinkedIn in the past and was all but tarred and feathered by conservatives and liberals alike. I try hard to avoid political discussions now as it seems to be a pointless endeavor. It’s like banging your head against a brick wall… I’m a conservative, but I have many liberal friends who I greatly love and admire. It is difficult to have civil discussions about politics, and so we skip the nonsense and just try to chat as human beings. Either way the country is divided and I don’t see this divorce as anything but final. The idea of a functional two-party system no longer works. People do not want to cooperate with antagonists who disagree with their idea of freedom. The problem is that too many lawyers have become politicians. They are bending and breaking the laws as we know them, on BOTH sides of the aisle. As well, the media has thrown truth out the window and injected its own venom into the bloodstream. So… I give up. It’s all too much. All I can do is try to be a gentleman without throwing grenades at people who love socialism. I’ll vote. It will not make a difference. And that’s it…

    • Aaron, I wrote this article a few years back. With the recent horrific events in Jersey City, NY not to mention other acts of violence I felt the need to put out a call in the faint hopes somebody will listen. As far as the politicians go the less said about that breed the better. I too am a Conservative but at the end of the day, they all say the same thing but in different ways. Somebody much wittier than me (I cannot remember the name of the individual who came out with this brilliant line that read something like this ‘all politicians are like babies as they have to be changed often and are full of sh-t.

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