Why is Acceptance So Challenging?

Recently,  a wonderfully funny vivacious woman died; she wasn’t even 50. She left behind her life partner and two young children. In such a situation to say an attitude to gratitude will get you through or love is all there is seems crass. It feels as if her life was cut short and what we realised is because she and her family moved to another country and we were getting on with life, we haven’t seen her for years.  And yet she was a part of our crowd and went to University with my husband.

When these shocks come: what helps is to breathe through it and be with all the messiness of the conflicting feelings you are having. In fact, it is only when you make friends with those feelings that you can find a way through.

It has been a tough time for many of late, strong emotions have been intensified by the full moon that occurred earlier this week. What helps is to slow down; to be gentle with yourself; and find a space where you can be real and raw and so release whatever you are feeling inside. That’s where a good friend or a coach can help.

What’s happening underneath the surface

A part of you doesn’t want to be in a mess so you go into resistance. It’s as if you are saying Not like this. What can help is if you can come to a place of acceptance even if it is not what you want and come to believe Just like this. Yes, it’s about trusting the flow. Try it and see what happens. My sense is you will begin to stop wrestling and let go.

Why does this work?

The fear or pain you feel is really your wounded child that doesn’t want to be hurting anymore. Then your ego kicks in putting thoughts in your mind in an attempt to protect you and control what’s happening. That never works. You need to make friends with the feelings. I do it by talking to my fear and pain, acknowledging its presence in my system. After a while, it will stop clinging on and let your higher self lead. When you take a step back and watch this play out you can see what’s happening. You are moving from forcing the outcome to trust. Force depletes your energy and leads to exhaustion whereas trusting that you are supported by Source enables life to become more spacious. In the moment you make that shift, you allow spirit to come through you and so miracles start to happen. The process is not immediate and requires a bucket load of compassion!

So remember it is okay to go slow, take time out to regroup.  You are only ever in a race with yourself; no one else!

For more on acceptance watch my latest video ⤵︎


Kate Griffiths
Kate Griffiths
Some call me the coaches' coach. I work with visionary leaders doing world work who are really good at what they do but haven't found their sweet spot yet. I help them unlock their whole selves by learning to build their intuitive muscle and so create more meaning. Ultimately this enables them to move into expanded awareness and the realms of higher consciousness. This is deep work because it requires you to embrace your shadow so you can discover the gold that is hiding there. You have both masculine and feminine energies within you but somewhere along the way you learnt to rely more on one more than the other making you either more of a "prover" or a "pleaser" Working with me you learn to access both energies so you can increase your presence and enjoy greater influence and visibility. Since 2008 I have pioneered an approach that integrates spirituality and business using Colour by blending the esoteric and the practical. I have found that it can transform every aspect of your life and enable you to develop the tools you need to ride the waves of adversity, you will experience in life. If you want to understand how colour can help then why not read my book Colourful Boardrooms. At the very least it will help you discover what type of leader you are. In 2018 I realised that I wanted to help change the story for the leaders of tomorrow so I set up Colourful Classrooms, a social enterprise, and have gone into schools and communities with programmes to support teachers, parents, and students to have better emotional health and wellbeing by building their awareness around what makes them feel more resilient. In terms of where I hang out:I tend to hang out on LinkedIn, so do connect with me there if you want to continue the conversation. And at the moment I am trialling a new social media platform MeWe which has the feel of the "village green" and to show my support for the stop hate campaign. If you like videos then do subscribe to my YouTube channel.

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  1. “When these shocks come: what helps is to breathe through it and be with all the messiness of the conflicting feelings you are having. In fact, it is only when you make friends with those feelings that you can find a way through”.

    This post and its content resonate so well with me, Kate. I am amazed how we approached same issue from different angle and yet we came to the same conclusion.

    The more we resist, the more resistance gets stronger. So is the case with acceptance.

    In my post of today here on BIZCATALYST titled “the power of acceptance” I discussed with we reject and resist change and then later only to accept it and be friendly with it.

    Same with negative feelings and by accepting them we do not reinforce them.

    So right you are.


    • Ali first off thanks for taking the time to respond I appreciate that and your tweet that is most kind of you. And loved hearing about your article which I just went and read on the power of acceptance. These words in particular resonated:

      (when talking about negative feelings you said) These feelings have a positive pole. They alert us to incoming threats. They enhance our survival potential. We need them as our bodies need the toxic carbon dioxide but within limits. As much as we fear carbon dioxide we need it if our bodies are to function properly.

      And that is the case I attended a session this week on harnessing your power and was struck by the fact that the speaker felt we should just not let it get to us. I much prefer Rumi’s approach that we should welcome every emotion that wants to come in and treat it as a guest. It’s hard to do and yet as you and the Sufis say fear has its place as it can keep us safe.

      I invite you to take a few moments to listen to the video where you will get the energy of the transmission and if you feel called take a look at We would love to have your presence in the men’s circle.

    • Thank you Kate and I appreciate your feedback. I paused reading this ” we should welcome every emotion that wants to come in and treat it as a guest”. I love this.

      I thank you for your kind invitation. II shall listen and see if I could be of any value to your circle. Greatly appreciated.