Like trauma, laughter cements memories into the amygdala – yet we rarely recognize that. It may be because, as some scientists theorize, there needs to be more happy memories stored in the brain than traumatic memories to attain a “balance.” And yet, we are sometimes confused about the use of laughter, the expressions of humor, and how to include them.
Once, at a Laughter Break for parents of addicted children meeting, I was patting myself on the back for bringing them some lighthearted relief. As I walked to my car, a mom came running up to me, tears streaming down her face. Immediately, I thought that I had done something inappropriate or disrespectful. I could feel my heart breaking just from the thought that I might have worsened the issues and traumas this group had been through with their children.
Instead, she hugged me, and through her tears told me, “I haven’t laughed since I lost my son.” Memories of happier times were now popping up in her mind, things she hadn’t thought of in a long time, including how her son loved to decorate their Christmas tree. Since his death, she had not put up the tree, but laughter unlocked those memories. Suddenly she realized that continuing what her son loved to do would honor his memory, and even if she cried, it would be “happy tears.” She thanked me for helping her make that breakthrough. I hugged her back through my own tears.
Similarly, in presenting a laughter break for therapists in war-torn Ukraine, I was cognizant of the stress they were under, both in helping their clients manage their stress and terror and how compassion fatigue was wearing them down. The minute they started to smile at each other and lean closer to their screen to follow me, I realized how important this work is. I remembered Clowns Without Borders who risk their lives to bring momentary laughter and joy to dangerous conflict areas. I reminded myself that laughter existed before human language, and it was about showing good intent and camaraderie, not because anything was “funny.”
I am thankful to have the privilege of bringing laughter to others.
The next time you are feeling down, take a minute to take a deep breath and say “hee, hee, hee” out loud a few times.
Looking at yourself in a mirror, or doing this together with another person works, too. That laughter sound automatically creates a smile and activates the brain to release feel-good hormones. And that is something we all need.
