Why Are WORDS so Powerful If They Account for Only 7% of Personal Communication?

Over the past year, I was lucky to have met many wonderful people from all over the world. When we talked, they asked me how I find my happiness and positivity. This gave me an idea to share with you my ways to live every day happy and positive.

Because our lives are very busy, and we receive many insightful articles and posts on a daily basis that we want to read, my articles will be short and only biweekly.

Let me start with something that you can do right now.

I’m not going to talk today about communication skills. I’d like to tell you why words, that seem to be least important in our communication – they count for only 7% of personal and successful communication according to Albert Mehrabian – yet, they play such a significant role.

Think for a moment about the words that you are using habitually every day, consciously and subconsciously. Do they give you energy, hope, pleasure? Do they inspire you? Or, the opposite – they make you feel hopeless or discouraged; they disempower you. You see, the way you express and describe your emotions and situations is the way you experience reality. Those words have incredible power on our inner peace and our inner happiness. The words we use give a meaning to what we see, hear, smell, feel, taste – they have a huge impact on our submodalities.

When you lose your job, you may say, “It’s a disaster, I feel frustrated, I hate my boss.” Disaster, frustration, and hate are words that have a strong negative meaning, and they don’t help you find any solution, because you stay in a negative state. However, when in the same situation you say, “Things happen for a reason, yet, I’m worried, but I deserve a better boss,” you will go to a positive and resourceful state in which you will be able to find a solution.

This reminds me of a quote by Robin Sharma;

Words can inspire and words can destroy. Choose yours well.

So, think about the words that you use every day. If you find some of them too negative, replace them with other words, that give you power, encouragement, and hope. Those words can be even weird or funny, whatever works for you. Instead of saying, “I hate my boss,” you may want to say, “I prefer another boss.”

Do this exercise also with words that you use to describe your positive emotions. If they are not enough empowering, replace them. For example, when you get a promotion, you may say, “I’m feeling good.” However, “I’ve never felt better” would probably give you more inner excitement. Instead of saying, “The idea is good,” you can say, “The idea is brilliant”. Instead of saying, “I have a great motivation for studying” and “I am capable,” you may say, “I have a great passion for studying” and “I am talented.”

And I don’t use the word “problem” anymore. I replaced it with “challenge.” It shifted my focus from thinking of the reasons to taking steps in order to find a solution.

What if you pay attention to the words you use for another 14 days, and see how this practice impacts your wellbeing, peace, and happiness. Have also in your mind that the tone of your voice reflects the true meaning of the words you use, the warmth, kindness, excitement, or humor. Say out loud, “I’m good” and “I’m fine,” and pay attention to what you hear and how you feel saying both sentences.

It would be great to hear your thoughts on this topic in the comments.

Good luck!



Sylwia Borowy
Sylwia Borowy
Sylwia is a Certified Life Coach who handles the whole range of different human problems and situations. She helps her clients rediscover the strengths, passions, and potential, and find a new purpose in life. She helps them boost their self-esteem and self-confidence, and find more joy and positivity in their lives. In her coaching practice, she focuses on the key relationships in the lives of her clients, and she helps them improve those relationships. Why? Because, as human beings, we have the need to belong to communities. Together with her clients, she brainstorms various options and ideas so that her clients can live happily according to their values and beliefs. Her motto is: “Believe in Your Strengths.” She started her career as a Banker after graduating from the Warsaw School of Economics where she earned her master’s degree in Economics. After 16 years working in Risk Management area in Poland and in the Netherlands, she enjoyed ex-pat life in Brazil and Mexico for another 8 years raising her twins, now young adults. After she experienced several challenging transitions in her life, she decided to help others through her coaching services and writing about how to enjoy life.

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