Whose Feelings Are These?

So many of us have learned that the feelings we experience (emotions and expressions), are a problem and can keep us from having what we want. As a result, we have learned to avoid, dramatize, medicate, push away, or sweep most of them under the rug. Especially the negative ones. Anger, hurt, worry, sadness, fear. Few of us were shown healthy and responsible emotional expression as our caretakers didn’t know how either. In addition to not being well-schooled in relating to our emotions, we often pick up the emotions of others in our physical or energetic space. Co-workers in the next cube; family in the next state. So, whose feelings are we feeling anyway?

At their very core, the feelings we experience in this body belong to our inner child. This encompasses all of the unexpressed and trapped emotions from the past.

The emotions that we were too frightened to experience as children or in past incarnations. Without a way to safely recognize and release those feelings, they pooled over time becoming a brimming well. When we don’t learn how to express these feelings, they often arise and overflow as an emotional tsunami causing turmoil, complete shutdown, or take residence in our physical body as dis-ease.

The first outer layer of feelings reflects our inner child’s reactions to the ego’s stories created to protect our inner child from those terrifying experiences. Stories like ‘I’m not enough, I can’t do it, and something is wrong with me’ gave our inner child a sense of control when they had none. While the Ego’s ‘To Do’ list provided a way of getting closer to being enough, capable, and ‘fixed’, the inner child believes these stories are true, and feels the emotions of fear, blame, shame, humiliation, and abandonment.

The second outer layer represents feelings we have taken on from others throughout our lives. Many of these come from our primary relationships. Once we recognize these and commit to releasing them from our energy field, it is easier to recognize when it is happening or where we still need to clean up our past. Some of this is ancestral and can be brought to consciousness while energetically cutting the chords. Others are old patterns that we now see clearly and are ready to stop attracting the situations where they play out. It’s up to us to keep our eyes open, recognizing these feelings, and responding differently.

The most outer layer mirrors our current situation in the present moment. THIS is where we have the most power to transform all the other layers. We can do this by asking ourselves questions like ‘How does it feel to be where I am right now? What type of energy is present in my space?  How does my body feel here? How does it feel with these other people? Do I feel closed or open? What can I do to honor what feels best to me at this moment? We can practice this moment to moment, without making ourselves or others wrong, remembering it is our job to do what is most loving for us and others’ job to do the same.

Most of us don’t realize that past energy or trapped emotion is being triggered when we have a strong reaction in the present moment. If we can step back, check in, and make that distinction, we can handle ourselves gently and lovingly.  We do this by first recognizing that a feeling is arising in our present time. Then we acknowledge if it has a larger ‘charge’ than the situation warrants. If it does, we know that an inner layer needs our love and attention. 

How will you recognize and honor your feelings today?

In today’s exploration, I invite you to identify and honor your feelings:

      1. One of my most predominant feelings is: _______________
      2. Here’s who’s feelings I think they are: _______________
      3. When I take the time to recognize ‘who’s feelings they are, I realize: _______________
      4. One way I can remember and honor whose feelings they are is to: _______________


Wendy Watson-Hallowell | The Belief Coach
Wendy Watson-Hallowell | The Belief Coach
WENDY is passionate about enabling individuals, organizations and communities to value themselves and each other in the ongoing process of change. Wendy has guided hundreds of individuals and over 750+ public and private sector organizations to achieve tangible increases in impact and performance. Her successful practice in mentoring and coaching has led to authorship of the book, ‘Live a Life You Love and Make a Living Doing It’. Over the last 30 years, Wendy’s skills have been honed in leadership roles at MTV Networks, The Rensselaerville Institute, and a variety of community based projects in her town. In 2015 she launched BeliefWorks and offers Belief Coaching as a way to address the root cause of what limits the results we can achieve both personally and professionally. This is an 'upstream' solution to change. Instead of changing limiting behavior, she focuses on changing the limiting beliefs that drive that behavior. In all cases, her clients and partners speak to the specific increases in achievement that her consulting, coaching and partnership roles make possible.

SOLD OUT! JOIN OUR WAITING LIST! It's not a virtual event. It's not a conference. It's not a seminar, a meeting, or a symposium. It's not about attracting a big crowd. It's not about making a profit, but rather about making a real difference. LEARN MORE HERE



  1. This post resonated with me. It was so beautifully crafted yet practical and very understandable. I will ask myself those questions and try to answer honestly. This was intelligent, thought provoking and a generous share. I need time to absorb the content but I know the outcome will be valuable to me and others. Thank you so very much.