Who Have I Been Dating…Your Representative?

Have you ever wondered if the people around you are really being their authentic selves? I think this is the $64,000 question when it comes to dating

Men bust our chops incessantly about our need for Spanx and how by wearing them, we aren’t really ourselves. It’s not as if we disrobe and by doing so release a life raft from the Titanic. I mean really people. Sucking in a few body imperfections is nothing like flat-out LYING about who you really are and what you are after.

As I grow older, I am realizing that I am less filtered with my thoughts and more honest than I probably was 20 years ago. My mom always told me, “Honesty is the best policy.” Unfortunately, in the world of dating, it tends to be the kiss of death. But why is that? And moreover, isn’t it a big waste of time these days not to be?

I have a few single girlfriends. All strong, beautiful women who have their sh%$ together and yet, we all seem to be dipping into the same abysmal dating pool. We are each a few dates away from taking our show on the road.

“Look out for that one. He’s a liar.” “Yeah, don’t waste your time there, he will be a Stage 5 Clinger.” And let me tell you, this is almost a fate worse than death. Probably because you have to all but fake your own death (after one coffee date, no less) to escape his clenches. Ok, “clenches” may seem a bit over the top. Let’s just go with 1,000 text messages a day. I will leave it at that.

In talking with my friends, here is the #1 Head Scratcher – the guy who, from date one, is ALL IN, up your a$& 24/7. You finally let your guard down and let him in only to be dealt the “I’m not ready for a relationship. I am damaged goods” bullsh&$ that we’ve all heard. Only to hear the following week from a friend that he is on Tinder. What is wrong with people?

Who was the guy I was dating for two months? Your representative? Do you pull an Alec Baldwin from Dr. Suess’s The Cat in the Hat, take off your girdle when you get home, your fake teeth and unleash your, “I’m an a$$hole aura” only to stuff it all back inside before I see you again? I mean, seriously, how hard it must be for you to fake your way into a woman’s life. Who on earth has time for this?

On behalf of all single women everywhere, men hear my plea. BE NORMAL. BE HONEST and BE REAL about your feelings. Fake it til you make it is a mantra best left in the world of business. No one wants to date your representative.


Connie Bramer
Connie Bramer
Connie Bramer is an entrepreneur, mom, breast cancer survivor, and author of “How Connie Got Her Rack Back,” her comical spin on the journey of cancer. Connie’s mission to help others through her own experiences drove her to found Get Your Rack Back Inc., a not for profit organization that provides financial assistance to cancer patients in Upstate NY. GYRB assists patients – men, women, and children with varying types of cancers – with gas and grocery gift cards as well as medical copay assistance. Connie has been featured in several magazines including Her Life New York and Womenz Straight Talk. As a cancer survivor, Connie was awarded the Hyatt’s prestigious Portrait of Understanding Award. In addition to her inspirational blog, gyrb. She also shares her everyday antics with a snarky sense of humor on her blog, The Humor Of It All. Connie is a contributing author to the inspiring books; Chaos to Clarity: Sacred Stories of Transformational Change and Crappy to Happy: Sacred Stories of Transformational Joy

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  1. Connie, your honesty is refreshing. Yes, let’s encourage everyone to be their true-selves when dating. Yes, we are on our best behavior when we first meet on a date but if we are not our true selves we take a change on the person “falling-for” the fake you, and where will that leave you when you decide it is time to show your authentic self? Back to square one. Thank you for sharing your Dating-world with us Connie!