“This is not exactly comfortable. I had a feeling I would get this reaction, but not openly like this. – “Who do you think you are? How dare you walk out of here like that? No one quits their job like that!” Well, I just did. Didn`t I? Just walk. Keep on walking. I have had enough. I am done. Wow, that was wild. What just happened? I have planned this day for so long, and now, look at me. No steady job, no apartment. Sold most of my things, the rest in storage, money in the bank and freedom ahead. Again, wow! The outside of the office building never looked so sweet. The grass never looked greener, and the air never felt fresher and crisper. This is my lucky day! I feel so light. I feel like I have butterflies in my belly. What will the future bring? Ticket to Paris all booked, then Bali. I just have to do Paris. Meeting my old friend that I never got around to visiting, until now! And Bali, my dream come true! Me, writing my novel, living the simple life. Finding some true purpose, resetting my mojo. Pleasing no one, loving everything and everyone. I know, my family, my friends, but you know what? They will be fine. I am not dead, only ready to live!”
You stopped playing small!
When someone steps outside the norm, breaks the rules of the horde, there will be reactions. How can someone willingly quit their job, without having a new one lined up? It does not make sense for anyone following the common sense rulebook. It has several chapters on security and how to play it safe. It teaches us everything about using our brain to think everything through, and to make calculated decisions, based on our highly respected intellect. Have you ever looked at someone and thought they might have lost their marbles for not making the same decision you would have?
We love to stick our noses in other people´s business. We love to validate, condemn, correct and compare. What would we do? How could they? This is crazy. I could never. How dare they! Who do they think they are?
Are we responsible for anyone`s actions, their responses, and their feedback? Absolutely not. The most freeing part of any journey from bullshit to wisdom is the freedom in that exactly. The core of the matter is this; – When you at any point, stop, if only for a nanosecond to look for validation, you are not yet free. We know knowledge can lead to wisdom, but there might not be applause from the crowd. It is a lonely path until you find the value of it within yourself. It is an empowering path. As long as it is yours, it leads to “home”.
There are certain traits or behavior patterns that have been appointed unsafe and reckless.
How dare you be sexy, bold, crazy and spontaneous?
How dare you let go of what I, me, the rest of us have worked so hard to hold on to?
How dare you be happier than us, are you better?
Are you different?
People like to fit in, and when you step out and do what you love, no matter what, they get confused. Those that are not loving their life, get irritated, angry even. At you, for representing what they don`t dare to do. Or feel they can, or feel they should, for all the reasons that they can find. It was never about them. It was always about you. Your life was always about you, your values, your goals, your compassion, passion, your mission, and love.
Better than what?
Someone who is following their dream is, in reality, doing what everybody wants and seeks to be able to do. Our search for happiness seems endless. Although it is not a destination, we feel it is something we need to reach, to get to, that “place” of happy and content. We might even believe that we are there, until someone shows us, by their crazy actions, that we are not. How dare they! Do they think they are better than us? We could argue that in actuality they are. They are closer to living their purpose, and following their own path. They have broken free from what we are still stuck in. How hopeless and helpless that makes us feel. And frustrated. When someone else does their thing, it can look very easy. Especially when they are good at it. As if it didn´t take a world of courage and bravery, were not the scariest thing ever. It most probably was.
The Law of Jante, takes us back to the conscious and subconscious programming that keeps a whole society locked in their place. A Danish/Norwegian author Aksel Sandemose wrote these Laws in 1930, as a part of a novel, describing how in a small town, Jante, the attitude towards individuality and success were dismissing. Achievers were not accepted, and discouraged.
There are ten rules in the law as defined by Sandemose. They all lead to the same underlying theme: You should not think you are anyone special or that you are better than us.
The ten rules of Jante:
- You’re not to think you are anything special.
- You’re not to think you know more than we do.
- You’re not to think you are more important than we are.
- You’re not to think you are good at anything.
- You’re not to laugh at us.
- You’re not to think you are as good as we are.
- You’re not to think you are smarter than we are.
- You’re not to convince yourself that you are better than we are.
- You’re not to think anyone cares about you.
- You’re not to think you can teach us anything.
It is suggested by Sandemose that by obeying these rules, the community would be more harmonious. Since then, the meaning of Jante`s Law, has been extended to refer to any form of personal criticism towards those breaking out of the norm, or reaching a higher position in general. When we look at the above statements, it brings us to the why we might be experiencing a lack of encouragement when we do what is not generally done. Why we might run into envy, eyeballing and even whispers in the hallways. We have been brainwashed for generations to believe that we should and should not. Be careful who you listen to. Is it true, is it kind, is it necessary?
We are all family. We are all here together. We are brothers and sisters. We lift each other, and stand on each other’s shoulders. Every successful man or woman has climbed and held onto someone else. A word, a poem, a smile or a helping hand. We never do anything completely alone. We are never better than, only different. We are never more, and cannot take away anyone else`s mojo. We only have our own to use, and everyone else has their special set of potentials. Let us kick the Law of Jante out the door, and replace it with a set of uplifting affirmations that will serve us, not disconnect us.
My ten rules of empowerment:
- Believe that you are special.
- Be confident about your knowledge.
- You matter.
- You are good at many different things. You are gifted.
- Laugh every day.
- We are all in this together.
- You are smart and able.
- You are always enough.
- You are loved beyond belief.
- You have something to bring to this world.
Feeling empowered and free, is not the same as feeling superior. Ok, so you are taking a leap, finally breaking out of your old ways. Does this mean you are now better than anyone else? No. Simple, not at all. There is no such thing. We are all here on this journey, to learn and to experience. Who are any of us to judge or rate anyone else`s path. If that is where we end up, lesson missed. There is nothing to take from an ego that has been elevated and nurtured. There is no wisdom in the eagerness and need to look at others as less evolved. Spiritual superiority is what we see among self-appointed gurus. You don’t need it.
At one point, we have to wake up and say: This is it, enough of this shit. I am going for it, because I deserve it.
By awakening to who we really are, we are able to let go of everything that has been holding us back. By truly connecting with our inner source, God, and Creation, we are able to effortlessly flow through life with a renewed passion and enthusiasm. This natural passion for living and creating, is a part of every breath that we take.
My love for life itself has led me to explore the amazing abundance and love that we are all a part of. Pain is inevitable, but suffering is a choice. Love is the ultimate language of the Universe, and anything, not thereof is an obstruction of the flow of life.
Who you really are, and the power you hold within is stronger than any agony or despair.
You are worthy of a life in abundance and joy, as you choose to awaken to your true essence. You are amazing, and through letting go of your clutter and old programming you will set yourself free.
Who do YOU think you are?