I love comments that stir my mind as that of David Ford, P.E., LSSBB, MBB. David wrote, “It is a whirlpool from where there is no escape.”
The idea of this post centers on the fact that the forces which make whirlpools form in water are the same forces that make whirlpools of conflicts and poor communications form. Just thinking about the fact that a whirlpool is a body of swirling water produced by the meeting of opposite currents or a current running into an obstacle, so are the “currents” of heated conflicts when neither of the opposing parties listens to each other.
When people do not listen to opposing ideas and beliefs, and intensify them whirlpool forms that sinks the discussions.
This is again what happens in meetings when people present opposing ideas. Instead of seeing this diversity of ideas as a healthy sign from which creative ideas may emerge, the opposite happens. Participants view opposing ideas as a source exposing their vulnerabilities and threatening their long-held beliefs. Confirmation bias steps in.
Moreover, Discussions that end up in forming whirlpools do not aim to find a solution, but for each polar party to appear victorious. Instead of arriving at solutions, the meetings end up in chaos.
To avoid the formation of sinking whirlpools, some participants tend to enjoy groupthink. The ideas of an influential person get approved. Meetings end with no real value and probably with the wrong decisions.
The lost opportunity cost of filling the room with fear and abandoning fruitful discussions results in losing golden opportunities to generate breakthrough ideas.
Meetings and conferences, and the like, have no value unless people join with prepared minds to accept different views and listen to them attentively and with no interruptions.
If not, people generate whirlpools that sink them all.
Communication is not a simple exchange of information, but a complex phenomenon influenced by the emotional, cultural and social baggage of the participants and by the context in which it occurs.
Every discussion, if not characterized by the possibility for each component to affirm, to explain their opinions and attitudes, and the commitment to positively resolve problematic situations, which means active listening and also acceptance of different points of view, will never produce innovative ideas and productive outcomes.
From this consideration also comes that respect and acceptance emerge as fundamental values for building authentic relationships. Their importance cannot be underestimated, since these principles not only foster a climate of harmony, but are also essential for stimulating profitable and fruitful exchanges between individuals and communities. Understanding and living these values is a shared responsibility that each of us should accept seriously.
Bravo, Professor, as always!
Aldo Delli Paoli You deserve the Bravo my friend for your comment casts light on the importance and vitality of healthy communication.
You explained so well the need for constructive communication and its benefits.
“From this consideration also comes that respect and acceptance emerge as fundamental values for building authentic relationships”.
If genuine cimmunication is experienced and we listen to each other new ideas shall be possible. The reverse is true as well and even worse because it mostly leads to conflicts.
A great comment from a great thinker. Thank you Aldo.
Another mind-expanding analogy, Brother Ali. Thank you.
If I harden my point of view in a discussion especially one based upon belief, but without explaining the facts that led to my conclusion, then I likely encourage my discussion partner to the same hardening of point of view. This creates a vicious cycle, a whirlpool to suck us down or a cyclone to blow up our relationship.
How much better to say, “If I understand what you are saying . . .” and summarize the person’s position. Then I can highlight the points where we agree, before saying “here is how I look at . . .” giving your argument including facts and conclusions.
Of course, I sound like a saint. There are many times where may passions eclipse my ability to follow this advice, and spin me into a destructive whirlpool. But knowing and doing sometimes form their own countervailing spiral.
Alan Culler thank you Brother Alan for sharing your eloquent thoughts and mainly the one that pertains to the reason why discussion whirlpool forms.
In discussions, hardening one’s point of view without explaining facts can lead to a vicious cycle, sucking down the discussion partner or causing a cyclone to blow up the relationship.
The solution you suggest is convincing and powerful.
Instead, summarize the person’s position, highlight points of agreement, and provide your argument, including facts and conclusions.
Much grateful to your contribution, Brother. 🎗️ 💛 👉