When We Feel Disillusioned: What’s Really Going On?

And just perfect.

This confusion isn’t a sign that you’ve got life wrong. It in no way reflects your abilities or worth on this planet. It definitely doesn’t predict your ability to move forward from here. The confusion is a lovely loud invitation from life to remember who you really are. You’ve probably had quieter invitations for a while now but, when we don’t listen, they just get louder until we do. Perfect.

So now, in the confusion of disillusionment, you get the chance to turn around from the outer path and explore within. To remember who you really are, to see through the imagined limitations, to see that the rules were never rules they were just ideas. The more you know who you really are, before thoughts and ideas, the more grounded, secure, and happy you feel within. The more grounded, secure, and happy you feel within the more your reality responds to that and starts to show you the kind of life you’d always imagined could be possible.

Now, from here, with imagined limits dissolved, you can do anything and everything — which includes activities beyond your wildest dreams and it includes continuing with the life you already had, it’s just that now this life is seen from a whole new perspective with nothing to change in any of it.

So what now?

Get curious.

Start to raise awareness to where you’re clinging or resisting. What looks like you really need it in order to be OK? What looks like you really don’t want it in order to be OK? This is happening from an application of limiting rules.

Start to notice what repeating patterns have shown up over the years. Have there always been incapable people? Have there always been needy people? Have there always been judgemental people? Has there always been more work to do or more learning to get a certificate for? Has there always been the next thing to buy? This is happening to reflect back your own confusion and wake you up to the inside-looking path..

Start to notice when you’ve felt the limitless potential that you are. When you’ve felt on fire with possibility. When you’ve achieved beyond what you thought was ever possible. When you’ve felt joy and freedom and a deep sense of OK-ness. This is happening because this is who you really are prior to ideas of limits, and available the moment those ideas drop away.

With love, Helen

Helen Amery
Helen Amery
Reconnecting you to innate brilliance for a more fulfilling life. Disillusionment happens when, things that we took to be true, start to look less so. People, belief systems, ways of working, societal norms. As these cracks, in reality, start to show we often look around to see what else is available to make sense of this, and these moments provide the opportunity for great change and the ability to step into a whole new and fresh experience of life. I work with disillusioned people who’ve worked hard all their lives to climb the career ladder, increase their income, who got the family and the house and the car and…then they look around and realise something’s still missing. They don’t feel more fulfilled. They don’t feel successful. They don’t feel secure. Sometimes these things have even become worse. My career has developed through commercial HR into psychology-based coaching, and now my work goes beyond psychology to the fundamental truths behind our human experience. This is the final shift in perspective that frees us from the imagined limitations we’ve gathered through life and reconnects us to our innate brilliance. It’s the direct path that other development can meander us to. From here we find fulfilment, security and a feeling of success – and we find we’re able to enjoy everything we already had, and new things, in an entirely fresh way. My business is called Wild Fig Solutions because the Wild Fig has the deepest roots in the world and I always cared about getting to the heart of what was going on. Now this work is really that as it reconnects us to our heart at the deepest level and naturally rebalances us so that we use the brilliance of our head in the way it works best. I work with clients online, in one-to-one and group coaching programmes, to help them reconnect to their innate brilliance. See my book here: Let’s Get Honest About: Work


  1. This is a real good read. And there is also a lot one can agree with.
    Disappointments cannot be avoided, they displace and jeopardize our balance, but we can defend ourselves. And they can even be turned into a springboard to new challenges and opportunities. The secret is to know yourself well, not to cultivate disproportionate expectations and never stop safeguarding your self-esteem. But also in “not closing oneself to desire” while maintaining the desire to do and move forward.

    • Hi Aldo, lovely to hear from you as always. I’d counter the idea that disappointments jeopardize our balance. In my experience they are gifts to show us what we’re resisting in ourselves and, in the integration of that, we actually find our balance and defences are no longer needed – just response to what’s here.

  2. Thank you Helen,
    Great share, love the share to stop for a moment to check if things are really okay, or not!
    The point’s you share in the last moment on the “how-question” just superb.
    We humans are so good in thinking what is wrong, but the way towards solutions is a whole new dimension.
    That’s why I love it, when people add the part of the solutions, the “how?”, it’s not always easy to sort out that.
    Your inspiring share also contains the beautiful message of :
    It is never to late to live another DREAM….!
    Thank you.