Grief changes shape, but it never ends.
~ Keanu Reeves
Have you ever felt trapped in a dark hallway of grief, torn between the pain of loss and the hope that lies beyond what you see? Having lost both parents, an older sister, several close friends, and my beloved dog in the past few years, I’ve discovered grief can feel like both a curse and a blessing simultaneously. It’s almost as if the universe is whispering, “Hey, you’re not alone in this…however, embarking on this journey through the valley of the shadow of death is necessary if you desire to maintain vitality, a sense of being alive, and connection to the wholeness that is your origin.”
Grief is an intensely personal journey and the journey never ends. With grace, our experience with grief will evolve. The crucial aspect is not to overpower or avoid grief, but to understand how to live alongside its presence. When someone we love makes their transition (including our pet), it leaves an emptiness that can feel unfillable. This void, however, is also a sacred space where we can hold the memory of that person or pet, allowing their essence to continue living within us.
One approach to coping with grief is to consider the process as a rite of passage that comes in waves. When we lose someone dear to us, it invites us to acknowledge and grieve the loss they represent—a loss that is unique and irreplaceable. We learn to value the role a person or pet played in our lives, recognizing their passing has forever changed us. This perspective can help us see how grief can tether us to that loved one in a boundless ocean of love, a connection surpassing physical presence. It is imperative to keep in mind that the sensation of isolation is purely a construct of our minds. In the grand continuum of life, we are all connected; there is only One of us here. The love and memories we shared with our lost ones are eternal. This belief can provide comfort and a sense of closeness, even in their physical absence. When grief arises, perceive its presence as a divine nudge—a reminder that our loved ones are as close to us as our own breath.
Grief is not one-dimensional; it’s about any significant change or loss that impacts us. It’s okay to grieve the loss of a lifestyle, a job, a home, or even a reputation.
By acknowledging these feelings, we can begin to heal and grow. Processing grief of any type involves engaging with life again, but with a deeper sense of purpose and meaning. Sometimes extending ourselves to others can bring instant relief and happiness. An act of service can help us find a new purpose and rediscover who we are. It’s a way to honor the memory of our loved ones by carrying their legacy forward.
It’s crucial to always remember the connection between grief and love as they both symbolize the depth of our connections. As we navigate through our grief, may we listen for the quiet voice declaring, “Hey, you’re not alone on this journey…”
Peace, Dennis Merritt Jones
