What if Depression is not an Illness?
As a friend of mine suffered from severe depression for years, I started to dive into the meaning of it. What was it bringing him? What was the root cause? And how could he start dealing with it? As I am a great believer of things are here for a reason and not a permanent disease for life, I wanted to get to the bottom of this and listened to a podcast by Daniel Rechnitzer about the root cause of Depression. Daniel is a friend of mine and what I love about him is that we share to see beyond that what we see with the human eye.
Three root causes of depression
According to Daniel and it totally resonated for me looking at my friend’s past, there are three root causes for depression
- Feeling alone in your struggles, the belief there is something wrong with me
- Feeling of being unloved or unappreciated
- Feeling that you can’t get it right, no matter what you do, no matter what topic. Relationships, your job. Nothing is ever good.
Depression is not an illness but a state of being that was born from experiences in our lives that were really unacceptable.
At that point I received about my friend: “He feels alone in the situation with his parents as well as the relationship he is in because his soul is saying “no” to these circumstances. Both his mom and his wife are not loving to him. Often bitching him around, openly accusing him to be a loser.
He tries to adapt, tries to do everything he can to be seen and acknowledged, but gets disconnected more and more from his truth. Without judging them I see people who are on a completely different wavelength than he is, there is a relationship but no connection (two completely different things), and they are disconnected themselves. Therefore yes, he can indeed never get it right. That is why he feels alone in it. Misunderstood. Unloved. Unappreciated by those people!! However, there is nothing wrong with him! He is just with the wrong people for him! Healthy relationships are only possible when both parties are connected AND if between them there is a connection (I might expand on that in another article later).
“Depression is here on purpose!”
The depression is therefore indeed bringing him something! It is here on purpose. Pushing him out of the train rails he is in right now and back into his own. Where people love and accept him, appreciate him. Where he does things that bring him joy.
It is like when I am performing for an audience that wants HipHop or Reggae, I will be terribly misunderstood, and after a lot of yelling “Boohoo! Go home!” I might feel terribly alone, unappreciated, and unloved. Does that make me a bad singer/musician or am I simply in the wrong venue?
“What can one to get back in alignment?”
Step 1: Accept Daniel suggests the first step is to accept that feeling Depressed is EXACTLY the right place he needs to be right now. That it is here to help him see the people and circumstances around him are not good for him. And that his life will change for the better when he starts choosing a new timeline.
Step 2: Start by making small changes. Cleaning up the garden, painting the house, doing a new body exercise, or choosing a healthier diet can already show a person that life does not have be stagnate. I like to add that when we create change, the change will come. As everything is energy, we will attract more change. When we have our little moments of joy, we start to see and attract more joys.
Step 3 is choosing to do the things he loves and stepping away from those who do not love and appreciate him. My friend for instance feels amazing in the forest or at the beach. As nature does not judge him. Here is no need to feel loved, appreciated, and accepted. Nature just is. A bird shits on your head because he has to, not because he doesn’t like you 😉. By doing this more, maybe even on a weekly basis he will start to feel better, find healing and strength to take the next step.
“What can we do?”
What we as loved ones can do is show the person there is nothing wrong with him. Let him know his soul is simply asking him to come home to HIS path, the right people, do the right things for HIM!
Show your appreciation. Ask him for advice for instance about something “because you value his opinion”. Encourage him to go to the forest or go with him if he likes that. Suggest a new diet or new exercise. And most of all; see his truth! His true essence! Like we all are!! And find ways to inspire that essence to come out so he can see it too! His talents, gifts, skills. His joys.
Let him know that there is a possibility that he will from time to time has his dark moments as I can still have my doubts of not being good enough or have my moments of fear of abandonment. In those times it is extra important to let them know you love them deeply and completely and accept them and that the darkness is simply a reminder to choose YOUR path and people again.
I feel this is a true act of love, whether it’s friendship love or partner love. To keep on seeing, supporting, and inspiring each other’s truths to come out and play.
Eyra Moon 💋
PHOTO: Marijn Kluijfhout Photography
VIDEO Daniel Rechnitzer – Intuition Wisdom