We have our ideas of when fresh starts should happen and what they should feel like, but what else is available when they don’t go like that?
When we start to make room for everything, everything starts to get better”
– Ken Wilber
Do you remember the fresh start at school after summer holidays?
What was it like for you? I loved going to the old-fashioned stationery shop in Dundee to stock up on pencils and rubbers — and ideally a new pencil case! I can still smell that shop now…
And so next week we have a fresh start with The Greatest Secret becoming the book group book for the next few months, and forming the basis for the content I’ll be sharing on Patreon in my fresh new members’ community.
And what about you? What feels like it’s starting fresh for you? What feels like it’s on a pregnant pause? What wants to be let in to return everything to movement? What feels scary or doubtful about that fresh idea that keeps coming to mind?
It might look from the outside like this fresh start for me with a membership community is happening with full confidence and ease; but no. There have been plenty of stories jumping around my head. Self-doubt is a ‘favourite’ that shows up here and so it’s been dancing around saying ‘what if nobody comes’, ‘what if this membership thing fails’, ‘what if you aren’t any good at creating a community’, ‘what if you look stupid’?
Thankfully I’ve been around this work long enough to know that those thoughts know nothing about me, you, or the world. I’ve been in business long enough to see that things don’t always go as expected — sometimes loads better, sometimes they stall or ‘fail’. And I pick up and carry on. I’ve seen enough times that what the mind calls ‘failure’ isn’t lethal (even though the feelings it generates feel like there’s imminent danger). I’ve seen enough to know that I am fundamentally OK, no matter what.
And yet, despite really, deeply knowing all that, those feelings when they come — oo they feel so convincing. It really looks like this — yes this thing here — really is dangerous. Really this thing is going to be the thing that’s the end of you.
So what do I do?
I see it all. I notice it all. No attempts to make it go away — although funnily enough, one day I got really close in to see what this ‘doubt’ feeling was, where it was. And as I got close — poof! — it disappeared. Nothing there. Untruths can’t stand the honest loving light of our pure awareness.
Then from there I watch and see what behaviour happens. Because when we start to make room for everything, everything starts to get better and when we realise squirreling around trying to manage behaviour is hard work and unnecessary, we stop trying to do that.
On this occasion, the behaviour has been to continue with the creation of a community because it’s really making sense. I’m excited for how this could be and what it could create. But who knows what will happen next? We never know (how the mind hates that!). And that’s OK too, because I’ve also seen enough times that when we’re just in life we know exactly what to do next, and it’s perfect — with the perfect next step for us, the next learning or unlearning that was needed. Nothing to change.
Notice for your fresh start.
Your mind might be saying it should be here already! It should be happening like this. The change should be underway, or at the very least I need to know when it will be. Or the doubtful side, you might not be up to this. It might not work. What if people leave you?
Whatever the story is, consider that your mind doesn’t know, can’t know, but that life — your heart — always does. Consider that your mind is the sandbank across the flow of the river. The river is what you already and always are, and that it’s only a release of sand that releases creative movement.
OK so how do I release sand-thoughts?
Sand gets released naturally and easily when we notice it without judgement, seeing it, and not believing it, not following it down its spiral of drama (although if you do follow it, that’s OK too — there’s unconditional love in every direction waiting for you). Then you see what action makes sense. Whatever it is, you can’t go wrong.
When have you already seen this? When have you already seen the release of a thought enabling movement? When have you already seen that everything unfolds perfectly, including the bumps along the way, including the delays and mis-starts? Including the fact, the feelings of ‘danger’ were simply a reflection of your mind telling its danger-stories and not telling you anything about whether to do this thing or not.
Look towards that, and make room for everything.
With love, Helen
If you’re interested in any of my fresh start things…
- This is where the membership community is going to be hanging out. Exploring who we really are, the nature of our human experience, and the nature of reality, with love and curiosity. Would you like to join us?
- The new book group is reading The Greatest Secret by Rhonda Byrne. You can get one of the last places in the live group to benefit from the richness of discussing in-person. Or follow along on your own by joining as a community member — each week I’ll share at least two pieces of content, including reflection questions, so you can immerse in and expand your exploration of the book.
- For coaches and change professionals, the new coaching programme is an 8-week programme and there are just two places available. This is for you if you’ve experienced the power of transformation, and you’ve seen it in your clients, but you’re not sure how to more reliably enable that. All the info’s here.