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What’s Your Fresh Start?

We have our ideas of when fresh starts should happen and what they should feel like, but what else is available when they don’t go like that?

When we start to make room for everything, everything starts to get better”

– Ken Wilber

Do you remember the fresh start at school after summer holidays?

What was it like for you? I loved going to the old-fashioned stationery shop in Dundee to stock up on pencils and rubbers — and ideally a new pencil case! I can still smell that shop now…

And so next week we have a fresh start with The Greatest Secret becoming the book group book for the next few months, and forming the basis for the content I’ll be sharing on Patreon in my fresh new members’ community.

And what about you? What feels like it’s starting fresh for you? What feels like it’s on a pregnant pause? What wants to be let in to return everything to movement? What feels scary or doubtful about that fresh idea that keeps coming to mind?

It might look from the outside like this fresh start for me with a membership community is happening with full confidence and ease; but no. There have been plenty of stories jumping around my head. Self-doubt is a ‘favourite’ that shows up here and so it’s been dancing around saying ‘what if nobody comes’, ‘what if this membership thing fails’, ‘what if you aren’t any good at creating a community’, ‘what if you look stupid’?

Thankfully I’ve been around this work long enough to know that those thoughts know nothing about me, you, or the world. I’ve been in business long enough to see that things don’t always go as expected — sometimes loads better, sometimes they stall or ‘fail’. And I pick up and carry on. I’ve seen enough times that what the mind calls ‘failure’ isn’t lethal (even though the feelings it generates feel like there’s imminent danger). I’ve seen enough to know that I am fundamentally OK, no matter what.

And yet, despite really, deeply knowing all that, those feelings when they come — oo they feel so convincing. It really looks like this — yes this thing here — really is dangerous. Really this thing is going to be the thing that’s the end of you.

So what do I do?

I see it all. I notice it all. No attempts to make it go away — although funnily enough, one day I got really close in to see what this ‘doubt’ feeling was, where it was. And as I got close — poof! — it disappeared. Nothing there. Untruths can’t stand the honest loving light of our pure awareness.

​​Then from there I watch and see what behaviour happens. Because when we start to make room for everything, everything starts to get better and when we realise squirreling around trying to manage behaviour is hard work and unnecessary, we stop trying to do that.

On this occasion, the behaviour has been to continue with the creation of a community because it’s really making sense. I’m excited for how this could be and what it could create. But who knows what will happen next? We never know (how the mind hates that!). And that’s OK too, because I’ve also seen enough times that when we’re just in life we know exactly what to do next, and it’s perfect — with the perfect next step for us, the next learning or unlearning that was needed. Nothing to change.

Notice for your fresh start.

Your mind might be saying it should be here already! It should be happening like this. The change should be underway, or at the very least I need to know when it will be. Or the doubtful side, you might not be up to this. It might not work. What if people leave you?

Whatever the story is, consider that your mind doesn’t know, can’t know, but that life — your heart — always does. Consider that your mind is the sandbank across the flow of the river. The river is what you already and always are, and that it’s only a release of sand that releases creative movement.

OK so how do I release sand-thoughts?

Sand gets released naturally and easily when we notice it without judgement, seeing it, and not believing it, not following it down its spiral of drama (although if you do follow it, that’s OK too — there’s unconditional love in every direction waiting for you). Then you see what action makes sense. Whatever it is, you can’t go wrong.

When have you already seen this? When have you already seen the release of a thought enabling movement? When have you already seen that everything unfolds perfectly, including the bumps along the way, including the delays and mis-starts? Including the fact, the feelings of ‘danger’ were simply a reflection of your mind telling its danger-stories and not telling you anything about whether to do this thing or not.

Look towards that, and make room for everything.

With love, Helen
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If you’re interested in any of my fresh start things…

  1. This is where the membership community is going to be hanging out. Exploring who we really are, the nature of our human experience, and the nature of reality, with love and curiosity. Would you like to join us? 
  2. The new book group is reading The Greatest Secret by Rhonda Byrne. You can get one of the last places in the live group to benefit from the richness of discussing in-person. Or follow along on your own by joining as a community member — each week I’ll share at least two pieces of content, including reflection questions, so you can immerse in and expand your exploration of the book. 
  3. For coaches and change professionals, the new coaching programme is an 8-week programme and there are just two places available. This is for you if you’ve experienced the power of transformation, and you’ve seen it in your clients, but you’re not sure how to more reliably enable that. All the info’s here.
Helen Ameryhttp://wildfigsolutions.co.uk/
Reconnecting you to innate brilliance for a more fulfilling life. Disillusionment happens when, things that we took to be true, start to look less so. People, belief systems, ways of working, societal norms. As these cracks, in reality, start to show we often look around to see what else is available to make sense of this, and these moments provide the opportunity for great change and the ability to step into a whole new and fresh experience of life. I work with disillusioned people who’ve worked hard all their lives to climb the career ladder, increase their income, who got the family and the house and the car and…then they look around and realise something’s still missing. They don’t feel more fulfilled. They don’t feel successful. They don’t feel secure. Sometimes these things have even become worse. My career has developed through commercial HR into psychology-based coaching, and now my work goes beyond psychology to the fundamental truths behind our human experience. This is the final shift in perspective that frees us from the imagined limitations we’ve gathered through life and reconnects us to our innate brilliance. It’s the direct path that other development can meander us to. From here we find fulfilment, security and a feeling of success – and we find we’re able to enjoy everything we already had, and new things, in an entirely fresh way. My business is called Wild Fig Solutions because the Wild Fig has the deepest roots in the world and I always cared about getting to the heart of what was going on. Now this work is really that as it reconnects us to our heart at the deepest level and naturally rebalances us so that we use the brilliance of our head in the way it works best. I work with clients online, in one-to-one and group coaching programmes, to help them reconnect to their innate brilliance. See my book here: Let’s Get Honest About: Work

4 COMMENTS

  1. OK so how do I release sand-thoughts?
    Sand gets released naturally and easily when we notice it without judgement, seeing it, and not believing it, not following it down its spiral of drama (although if you do follow it, that’s OK too — there’s unconditional love in every direction waiting for you). Then you see what action makes sense. Whatever it is, you can’t go wrong. This s great thinking, Helen.

    To be honest, I find similarities between our thoughts even though they come from different directions; yet they cross paths.

    I have a post most likely tomorrow Sinking in the Sand of Sadness

    Yes, it is about sand thoughts, but with different approach. If we do not treat sand thoughts rightfully we sink in their sands. We make the wrong moves and we sink deeper in trying to move out.

    • Wonderful Ali! I look forward to reading your post. And yes, if we believe sand thoughts we absolutely get lost and confused, believing they have something important to say is not in alignment with what we know ourselves to be. So yes it seems we’re very aligned in our thinking. Thank you for commenting, and again for your share on Twitter too 🙏

  2. Dear Helen,

    Talk about thought provoking and enlightening and brining to the surface what we all may think, experience, deal with, loose or win.

    You mention the heart. The heart can be seen as ‘sixth sense’; ‘instinct’ and can be hurt, be full of joy or just maintaining a level of stability.

    I strongly believe in following the heart. It may sound like ‘Cloud Cuckoo Land’, but on looking back on life’s experience, the heart was not always followed, and the heart was right. It is a really strange phenomenon.

    Two key elements dominate my psyche these days. The heart and positivity. The heart because it along with positivity, projects kindness and warmth to those would potentially benefit from such sentiments. When something we fell is unpleasant visits us, it is easy to become devoured in an inescapable black hole; in initially hovering above its ‘Event Horizon’. It can be extremely challenging to even consider a way out, but your descriptions do provide a release into better times. A Positive Mental Attitude, even where there is the tiniest, almost invisible spark of optimism, follow the light. Follow the heart and emerge richer for the experience.

    A. super article, Helen

    • Thank you Simon, I really appreciate your comment and yes, I agree the heart is always right and knows and sometimes if comes, as the quiet voice of wisdom in our ear. Fundamentally, what I point to is more than just needing to adopt a Positive Mental Attitude (that gets very exhausting and isn’t reliable – I tried it!) this is a knowing in your bones that you are already that light that you’re looking for. And so really it is the tiniest spark of our Self which guides us back home – to our Self.

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