As a modern, liberal city-dwelling woman, I really don’t care to judge who you are or what you do, but please know that I will judge the shit out of your wine choice. Your choice of wine speaks volumes about who you are as a person — your hopes, your dreams, where you vacation in the summer. And let’s face it, such first world decisions can make or break a budding relationship, friendship, or career opportunity. Don’t believe me? Let’s consult the wonderful world of imaginary social scenarios. Find out what your favorite wine says about your personality. Although, to be fair, as long as you’re drinking wine, there is already something very correct about you.