What To Do When You Have To Start Over

All of us have been there at some point. We may have

  • Lost a job
  • Lost a Home
  • Gone thru a Bankruptcy
  • Endured the loss of a Loved One
  • Gone thru a failed Relationship
  • Lost Hope
  • Experienced Health Issues
  • Suffered thru Addiction
  • Fill in the Blank_______________________[su_spacer]

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Recently, I had the opportunity to re-connect with Victory Church located in Austin, TX. Pastor Jim King has served as the Senior Pastor for the last 18 months culminating in a growing and vibrant ministry. His comments from the Message, “What Do To When You Have To Start Over” was an appropriate and timely message as we have made our way into 2017. His message really resonated with me and caused me to further reflect and expand on some of the points made during his presentation.[/message] [su_spacer]

To be sure, this is a tough situation we find ourselves. It is easy and normal to see this period as a personal failure. There may be examples of excessive finger-pointing and denial on our part during this season. A sense of doom that prolongs or delays forward movement. We may feel stuck, paralyzed, or uncertain towards next steps. Seemingly, nothing is going right and we seem to have fallen to our lowest point. All of us have been there at some point and can knowingly relate to the profound sense of loss and emptiness associated in this time. We have hit our bottom and become confronted with having to start over. If you are there now, there are three options to consider…

  1. I just don’t have the energy to do anything so I will wait for something to change. (If you do nothing, a new bottom may be identified)
  2. Someone will come along and fix this for me. (Be prepared to wait a long time for this option to come to fruition.)
  3. There is a way out of this situation. Enough is Enough and I want to get out of this. If my situation is going to change, it is up to me. [su_spacer]

Once you decide upon option 3, there are steps you that can be taken to move beyond the starting point. Moving forward will allow you to regain your footing towards the pathway of total Revitalization and Restoration. The situation did not happen overnight (although it may seem that way), and consequently, the comeback will not either. Once we commit towards taking the necessary steps and recognizing the importance of the process, we shift momentum in our favor. We become empowered to move much further and higher than originally thought possible. The following will illustrate the steps we must take when confronted with having to start over again.

Don’t Rush Things

There is a tendency to want everything NOW. The age we live in supports this type of thinking. You can have it right now. The pain is intense and I want it to go away as quickly as possible. Social media suggests you can get everything you want immediately and without any sort of pain. Infomercials demonstrate how we can get in shape quickly (8 minutes a day), lose 10 lbs in 10 days, get out of debt or even increase credit scores in a flash. However, the improvement is typically not going to be sustainable. When we are starting over, there is a tendency to move quickly, in an effort, to replace the current uncomfortable feeling. Delete that train of thought right now. Anything worth having must be planned and executed. Next time can be better not because you want it to be but because you plan it to be. It is important to ask yourself a few key questions and use the discovered knowledge towards making the necessary adjustments.

* What did you learn? Based on what you determine, how can you avoid making the same mistakes next time? Be honest with yourself and recognize that thru the pain, there are number of valuable lessons and insight to be gained. It is critical to apply the new- found discoveries in meaningful and positive ways as you grow thru the journey.

* How to shift? The experience may be painful yet the silver- lining is you are shown what not to do  in the shift towards a better position. As we learn not to put our hand on a hot stove (only took once for me), we recognize different pathways to move towards based on this new- found insight. It is important to note the next step. Knowledge is valuable. Doing becomes invaluable. All of the steps require insight and then associated action. One must follow the other or the process comes to a halt.

* See it thru. Once you have reflected and begin the journey towards a revitalization, see it thru. Do not quit on the process because your growth is on the line. The full restoration of your situation will begin to be revealed in some amazing ways. However, see it thru. Completing what is started brings a new- found confidence as we overcome the inevitable obstacles that will arise along the way.

If You Have To Start Over, Own IT

During disagreements, 3 sides come out. Each person has their own side and somewhere in the middle, lies the truth. This is a documented truth, but in this process, the key is to own our part. We cannot blame our way to a better future. I am often reminded that when we point the finger at someone else, there are 3 pointing right at us. Own your part of what went wrong. No one is going to fix your situation.



Chris Adams
Chris Adams
CHRIS has over 30 years in the Hospitality Industry serving in a number of emerging and diverse roles. His specialty has been in the area of Staff Development, Organizational Enhancements, Task Force Management, and Public Relations. He has worked for several brands such as Sheraton, Hilton, Marriott, Holiday Inn, and several Independents. An advocate for strong community relationships, Adams has served on numerous boards and Non-Profits in an effort to bridge certain gaps towards better understanding and inclusion for all. Additionally, Adams serves as a Legal Task Force Consultant assisting Law Firms in developing case positions via mock juries, selection, and development of media strategies. These efforts have provided further strength towards mediation and successful case resolutions

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  1. Thanks Chris, good article. Is it possible for you to gives some links of support agencies that would help people in the predicaments you mention? I know churches were used to doing this sort of thing, but that doesn’t appear to be the case now – with an over-reliance on charities. I know a man who is helping the homeless in Florida – he has gotten together a group of people and is doing something about helping them. I’ll get his contact details if this helps at all. All the best, Kaye

  2. Well done, Chris. Excellent refresher course. I’ve seen many people haunted by the inability or unwillingness to let it go. What is past is past. Yesterday is gone. Having learned from it put it behind you and go forward.

    • Thank you for weighing in. Certainly, easier said than done. However, such a critical need to start where we are and move forward and,my backwards.