What Stops You Being Your Whole Self?

A month or so ago I reached out to members of my LinkedIn family to talk about that elephant in the room – money.  Wherever you look it’s influencing behaviour on a continuum.  At one end there’s an underlying fear that there is not enough, which can lead to people holding on to whatever they have and so contract energetically.  Alternatively what can happen is the accumulation of more than you could ever need – I found out yesterday that Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson was named the highest-paid actor for the second year in a row having learnt nearly $100 million between June 2019 and June 2020.  If you scratch the surface of greed, you will probably find a fear of not having enough.

At the same time I have been watching Harlots, the period drama based on the British historian’s, Hallie Rubenhold, book The Covent Garden Ladies.  The basic premise is that as a woman the only way to have a place in the patriarchy is to have your own money.  This belief is the justification the main character uses for selling both her daughters into prostitution. Shocking as that may seem to us today at the time one in five women sold their bodies as a way to put bread on the table.

An addiction and a distraction

If we chunk up a level, we recognise that we created money and it is just one of a number of addictions and distractions that can prevent you from being yourself.  For example, research has shown that around 80% of those with employment do not enjoy the work that they are doing – are you among them?  People continue doing what they are doing even though they might be miserable in the name of security. Such thinking and ways of being, tend to have an adverse effect on all areas of your personal life.  Statistically work-based stress in the UK has increased from 59% in 2018 to 79% in 2020! 

What’s your relation to consumerism?

So what’s the answer? In some ways, it is about noticing how you are feeding the consumerist beast.  Clients of mine in lockdown who had regularly indulged in retail therapy as a treat to themselves because of their stress levels and the busy nature of their lives were forced to stop.  They noticed that they didn’t miss it and in some cases decided not to resume that habit as we come out of lockdown.

Three tips for you:

  1. Start by reviewing your own relationship with money. Be honest with yourself. How do you feel about it? Are you scared of it, do you love it?
  2. See if there are ways you can simplify your life.  Could you make local investments or grow more of your own food for example?
  3. Take up something that can help you slow down be that learning meditation, walking, yoga, or a combination of things.  Giving yourself some space to reflect could really help you start to see your own stories for what they are an illusion not reality.

In short, however you see life, in many respects, it is just an illusion.  As you recognise that whatever hold life had on you is dropped and you move to another level.  And just like an online game with all its levels, you only move on to the next level when you pierce the veil of illusion on that level.


Kate Griffiths
Kate Griffiths
Some call me the coaches' coach. I work with visionary leaders doing world work who are really good at what they do but haven't found their sweet spot yet. I help them unlock their whole selves by learning to build their intuitive muscle and so create more meaning. Ultimately this enables them to move into expanded awareness and the realms of higher consciousness. This is deep work because it requires you to embrace your shadow so you can discover the gold that is hiding there. You have both masculine and feminine energies within you but somewhere along the way you learnt to rely more on one more than the other making you either more of a "prover" or a "pleaser" Working with me you learn to access both energies so you can increase your presence and enjoy greater influence and visibility. Since 2008 I have pioneered an approach that integrates spirituality and business using Colour by blending the esoteric and the practical. I have found that it can transform every aspect of your life and enable you to develop the tools you need to ride the waves of adversity, you will experience in life. If you want to understand how colour can help then why not read my book Colourful Boardrooms. At the very least it will help you discover what type of leader you are. In 2018 I realised that I wanted to help change the story for the leaders of tomorrow so I set up Colourful Classrooms, a social enterprise, and have gone into schools and communities with programmes to support teachers, parents, and students to have better emotional health and wellbeing by building their awareness around what makes them feel more resilient. In terms of where I hang out:I tend to hang out on LinkedIn, so do connect with me there if you want to continue the conversation. And at the moment I am trialling a new social media platform MeWe which has the feel of the "village green" and to show my support for the stop hate campaign. If you like videos then do subscribe to my YouTube channel.

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