The second reason is the time and help that we need to better our birth’s special gifts & talents with which we need to first reconnect. When it comes to me, I am still not quite sure about the list. All that I know is that my biggest surprise was discovering my ability to write, and how much I adore it. I also know I love dancing, singing, acting silly, edutaining– the combination of educating and entertaining, but I cannot tell whether I am truly talented in any of those matters. I would love to be truthfully and objectively judged. Everybody needs mentors who would guide & encourage them, give them space to do things wholeheartedly including making mistakes, or even see some potential of which they are not aware yet…
Early in my adult life, someone saw potential within me that far exceeded what I saw in myself. He saw beneath the surface, beyond the obvious and evident. He looked into my heart & eyes & spirit and saw the raw, undeveloped, unseen seeds of greatness that lie within each one of us. So, he entrusted me with a charge and responsibility far beyond my experience and perceived ability. He gave me his trust without evidence, without proof. He simply believed and expected I would rise to the challenge, and he treated me accordingly. It was an act of faith. But that act of faith so affirmed my worth and potential that I was inspired to see it in myself. I aspired to the highest and most noble inclinations within me. I was not perfect, but how I grew! It also became a philosophy of life to me. Affirm people. Affirm your children. Believe in them, not in what you see but in what you don’t see — their potential.
~ Stephen Covey
A third and very personal reason is the kind of calling we have. Here is mine: contributing to reversing the imbalanced, selfish, immoral, manipulative world in which we’re living through educating the kind-hearted people, and getting them to realize they are the secret weapon whenever they decide to break the denial circle, become self-aware and pay the transformation’s price. We are such good liars simply because we are hardwired to avoid hardship… Our unhealthy ego is extremely resistant; I have been there the major part of my life.
Re-writing the subconscious program is painful. This pain can reach some ‘seemingly’ unbearable levels from time to time. What personally helped raise my bravery level over and over again was having this faith I was doing that work for much bigger than my small self. I didn’t have much of a choice after my existential crisis, and having been so psychologically abused by a malignant narcissist—when I was trying to heal and understand what was happening to me. I was about to kill myself before being saved at the last moment by the grace of my pure love divinity through a visualization. What was it about? It felt like an out-of-body experience which made me see the big lies of my sick ego, that this gigantic universe is not evolving around me, and that I am here for much bigger than what I have known so far. This realization humbled me. Without even putting my hand on my heart, I could hear it beating, my tears were flowing like a river and I was feeling so grateful for this spiritual awakening.
After practicing some self-care, healing the most obvious deep scars and gaining some strength, I started writing my chosen program, as well as the new story of my life. Meeting the life-time implanted limiting beliefs both about myself and about the world– where all the subtle manipulation happens—was hard. I hated it, I doubted it so frequently that I thought I was becoming crazy; I can’t even recall how many times I wanted to give up. And I did everything by myself.
More to the point, I truly understand people who don’t feel ready for committing to this adventure, and who give up from the very early stages—which I have observed several times. I didn’t accept to mentor many prospects when it was clear to me from the assessment it was very unlikely that they would be accountable. I simply cannot compromise with my principles even when it means struggling financially. My assessment might be wrong since I am definitely missing way more elements of the knowledge puzzle than what I already had the privilege to discover; knowing I am self-made in terms of psychological matters, that I am neither a therapist nor a neuroscientist. I am more of a philosopher, a lifelong learner, a science lover, a critical thinker, an observer, a storyteller, a human being who connected with the pure gut whose judgement turns to be accurate 95% of the time.
The truth I am currently facing and sharing with you is that I am not that confident in my ability to effectively guide people who are too different from the miserable perfectionist I was. I am not sure whether what worked for me would work for everybody, since I didn’t use any technique, and that I found my way every time I was discouraged and doubting if it was worth the pain through remembering why I was doing it in the first place. I am figuring out I simply cannot convince people of the nobility of what MY drive is, that I can only respect what THEY are looking for, whether it is feeling better about themselves, more confident, or simply learning some charisma tips.
The range of what we think and do is limited by what we fail to notice. And because we fail to notice that we fail to notice, there is little we can do to change; until we notice how failing to notice shapes our thoughts and deeds.
~ Stephen Covey
I need to admit I am really tired of investing so much effort and not seeing concrete results… Maybe I am more effective when it comes to implicitly inspire change through modelling the servant leadership. This is at least the feedback I have been receiving from so many individuals on a daily basis, and which is making my heart dance every single time.
There are so many things I ignore, so many I will probably never know, so many I will always have some doubt about! But what I know for sure is my being, and the power of our energy & free acts of kindness in uplifting people around us and in building trust in the long run.
Maybe I am meant to be part of some like-minded and light-hearted group of people so that I could execute on my mission, make a living out of my major asset – who I am as a person – and continue giving back to the world in a principled way? Maybe, like my legendary mentor Stephen Covey, I truly need someone to see the potential and take a chance on me?
With love, Myriam