What is ‘Wholeness’ and Is It Easily Reachable?

It starts with coming back to our original Center: the ‘Principles’. This Center is what we are all familiar with calling our conscience. Stephen Covey is defining the Center as below:

The foundation of the 4 life-support factors: Security, Direction, Judgement and Power.

Then, it requires that our 4 dimensions are nurtured in parallel:

  • The ‘Intellectual’ one through being humble enough to unlearn & learn again. It gives birth to our vision. This part also depends on how much others are willing to use our minds creatively.
  • The ‘Physical’ one whose manifestation is our discipline. This also includes being paid fairly for our contributions, so that we could live decently and continue giving back to the world.
  • The ‘Emotional’ one: the foundation of our passion and ability to build trust & healthy relationships depending on the other party as well.
  • The ‘Spiritual’ one fueled by our ‘Principles’ Center, and which is giving us our direction in any endeavor. This is the only one which does *not* depend on ‘others’, and the foundation of servant leadership.

Your center is the foundation of your love manifestation. If your center is your children, the love that manifests from that will mostly benefit your children. If your center is the ‘Principles’, the manifestation of your love will benefit humanity.

Did I reach wholeness? Definitely not. I only reached interdependency: having reconnected with my intrinsic worth intellectually, physically, and emotionally, but admitting my need for others’ contributions. Wholeness is only reachable when the other party is also giving back.

I am confident in who I am and proud of having stayed long enough with the pain to transform my being. I will never say it enough, but this was and will always be the most rewarding investment of my whole existence. This gigantic growth step does not really require hard work as much as it demands honesty, openness, bravery and consistency.

  • Honesty to admit we feel stuck and that we are ready to do something about it.
  • Openness to challenge our limiting beliefs — which are so ingrained we take them for the absolute truth — in relation with the ‘principles’ (we need to know so that to do the self-awareness exercise properly; I provided a sample here for those of you who are interested:

Did You Ever Wonder What This Emotional Intelligence Skill Was About?

  • Bravery to stay with the pain of meeting our life-time conditioning constructs.
  • Consistency to re-write the program on a daily basis — the only way the defeat one the two main differences between the conscious and subconscious minds: the ‘way of learning’– while the conscious mind is creative, the subconscious mind is habitual & repetitive.

Before going further, I want to clarify what I mean by ‘self-awareness’: a unique human endowment that gives us the possibility to think about our very thought process. Why is it difficult to make use of self-awareness? Because of the second difference between the conscious and subconscious minds: the ‘speed’. The conscious mind is the one responsible for self-awareness. It is too slow comparing to the subconscious mind. Let me give you an idea: the conscious mind operates at 40 bits per sec, while the subconscious mind speed reaches 40 MILLION bits per sec. No — your eyes are not playing tricks on you. This, according to some serious studies, is leading to operating from our subconscious program — or what some of you are probably familiar with calling on auto-pilot mode at, at least, 90% of our day.

Interestingly, even when we unbecome the filter and reconnect again with this servant leader we all were at the moment of our conception, we will still need time to develop our four dimensions/forms of intelligence introduced earlier. By the way, I talked about a non-exhaustive list of the virtues of the servant leader here:

I believe the most challenging one to develop and which is making us doubt ourselves and feel angst –even when we are so confident about who we are as a person — is the physical intelligence. Why? For several reasons.

The most obvious one is the extremely high level of excitement and enthusiasm we can experience when becoming free of the life-time conditioning. We could easily lose control and fail in canalizing our energy and efforts.

We become so passionate and driven to contribute in changing the world, rescue every person who is suffering, and prepare a much healthier path for the generations unborn, that we can easily forget about ourselves as well as guaranteeing enough income to live decently.

I know this from a personal experience since more than 80% of the value I am producing is completely FREE.


Myriam Ben Salem
Myriam Ben Salem was born in Tunisia, a small country in North Africa. Myriam did pretty much everything earlier than the average: walking, talking, singing, dancing. Promoted throughout her entire education, Myriam was also the leader of every end-of-year party. Myriam is a mentor with a deep passion for helping others grow and find their own internal truths to reframe their lives. She spent 9 years working at a high level of consultancy and management in the Information Technology, Human Resources, and Research sectors, only to realize that perfectionism and pressure were damaging herself and those around her. After three burnouts and an existential crisis, she dramatically embarked on a painful journey to reinvent herself from within. Now she guides organizations as well as people in redefining the most integral aspects of internal value, truth, and care, promoting a daring greatly culture and re-humanizing their personal life through stories, play, laughter, and thought-provoking discussions to create real and permanent change. Myriam is deeply passionate about everything life has to offer. She educates through any possible means including writing – a discovered skill emerging naturally during the transformational journey -- on the importance of reconnecting with our common birth’s gifts making of all of us seeds of greatness only numbed by the life-time conditioning. She is guided by the fundamental universal correct principles or what is also known as our spirit, our conscience and the manifestation of our 4th and most important form of intelligence: the spiritual one! Reconnecting with her principles Center was what truly helped her on her path of moving from ego to self-love, in promoting continuous learning, and acquiring the humility to discover a calling: a higher mission than her small self. She is described as vivacious, confident, compassionate, authentic, funny, warrior, vulnerable, grateful, bold, mature, showing integrity with an abundance mentality, and always seeking the best way forward for herself and every person she interacts with.