It seems like a simple idea, doesn’t it? Of course, you have self leadership! You willingly take steps forward; you have awareness of what makes you uncomfortable and what fills you with joy.
However, there are also parts of you that don’t seem to get air time, the space, or the credit. The parts of you that feel shame, the parts of you that hide, the parts of you that protect you. We are so very good at looking forward, breaking ‘bad’ habits, and achieving new habits.
The problem is that we beat the crap out of ourselves all the time and frankly – it’s exhausting. Especially when our forced change doesn’t stick. We think there is something wrong with us. We shame our angry, jealous, defensive, vengeful parts because we have been told that those parts aren’t acceptable feelings. That those parts are the opposite of who we should be, and we start the shame cycle begins again.
What would it mean if you could better understand those “shameful” parts? What would it mean if you could really dive into those feelings and make room for the reasons why they exist? What would it mean to you if you could make decisions with a deeper understanding of your whole habitat?
Radical Self Leadership is the ability to be in relationship with your whole system and be able to make decisions from a place of appreciation and a place of whole self. If this feels a little too much for you. I highly recommend learning more about Internal Family Systems.
Being an IFS Informed Coach for the past 5 years, there are a few things that I can hold as true. All of those parts of you that you shame are protecting you. They are not out to get you; they are trying to protect you.
So, the journey begins here: What would it mean if we stopped shaming our defensiveness and begin to really honour it for working so hard to protect you?
That, my dear readers, is what I mean by Radical Self Leadership. That we radically connect to the parts that we typically shame. That this connection is radical because you are doing so in gratitude for all the work it does to protect you.
When we begin to develop a slightly different relationship with ourselves, we begin a new journey. Our path appears in front of us differently, we big to lead with a full understanding of all our parts.
If you would like to spend time mapping and acknowledging your feelings, your habitat, and your internal relationships, please reach out. I hold groups and 1:1 sessions that help you process all of the beauty that exists inside.