What is Radical Self Leadership?

It seems like a simple idea, doesn’t it? Of course, you have self leadership! You willingly take steps forward; you have awareness of what makes you uncomfortable and what fills you with joy.

However, there are also parts of you that don’t seem to get air time, the space, or the credit. The parts of you that feel shame, the parts of you that hide, the parts of you that protect you. We are so very good at looking forward, breaking ‘bad’ habits, and achieving new habits.

The problem is that we beat the crap out of ourselves all the time and frankly – it’s exhausting. Especially when our forced change doesn’t stick. We think there is something wrong with us. We shame our angry, jealous, defensive, vengeful parts because we have been told that those parts aren’t acceptable feelings. That those parts are the opposite of who we should be, and we start the shame cycle begins again.

What would it mean if you could better understand those “shameful” parts? What would it mean if you could really dive into those feelings and make room for the reasons why they exist? What would it mean to you if you could make decisions with a deeper understanding of your whole habitat?

Radical Self Leadership is the ability to be in relationship with your whole system and be able to make decisions from a place of appreciation and a place of whole self. If this feels a little too much for you. I highly recommend learning more about Internal Family Systems.

Being an IFS Informed Coach for the past 5 years, there are a few things that I can hold as true. All of those parts of you that you shame are protecting you. They are not out to get you; they are trying to protect you.

So, the journey begins here: What would it mean if we stopped shaming our defensiveness and begin to really honour it for working so hard to protect you?

That, my dear readers, is what I mean by Radical Self Leadership. That we radically connect to the parts that we typically shame. That this connection is radical because you are doing so in gratitude for all the work it does to protect you.

When we begin to develop a slightly different relationship with ourselves, we begin a new journey. Our path appears in front of us differently, we big to lead with a full understanding of all our parts.

If you would like to spend time mapping and acknowledging your feelings, your habitat, and your internal relationships, please reach out. I hold groups and 1:1 sessions that help you process all of the beauty that exists inside.


Sarah Hines
Sarah Hines
I met a man one blurry night in Manhattan, and little did I know, he would be the soil in which my passion for grief work was to be planted. He had been rejected by his family for his life choices and was preparing for death without them. Helping him through his struggle to come to terms with his love for them and in turn his forgiveness while going through treatments, rejection, and coming to terms with his own death and grief was an unimaginable amount of stress and it literally set me in activism mode. It was shortly after his death, I completed training in Palliative Care Home Hospice. I volunteered in men’s homes for 5 years before the medications became reliable and being gay wasn’t always breaking family ties. Some of the most amazing times I have had in my life have been in the homes of dying. Strange, yes.. but so beautifully honest and raw. I then completed the Children’s Palliative Care Training and dove into the heartbrokenness of dying children. It is in these years I really came to understand just how fickle death can be and how much we embrace death and our grief. It seems that in times of what we would consider the most unimaginable, we are able to find glimmers of beauty, cracks of light and the nourishment in tears. Over the last 20 years, I have carried on with my education in a variety of ways including Coach and Leadership Training, Orphan Wisdom School and Grief Groups. My connection into corporate grief has been slow. It’s something that most organizations do not want to think about. I am inspired by those that see value in bringing grief work into the way they lead teams through uncertainty and the trust this work builds.

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