You don’t know what it’s like to be me
I don’t want you to get close enough to see
But I do want you to try to understand
Nothing about me screams I’m woman
I look okay on the outside but I wish you could see
The effects that this disease has taken on me
You look at me and say what’s wrong with you now
Without realizing your words hurt me then and hurt now
This is no manufacture of a sickness in my head
This is constant pain from when I awake till when I go to bed
This isn’t a way to scam the government to pay my way
This is tears over the love of nursing that has faded away
This is not pretending to be sick to get out of anything
This is learning your limits and understanding your pain
This is losing friends because they don’t want to deal with you
This is dirty looks from family who don’t know what you’re going through
This is the destruction of your life, all you’ve ever known
This is a disease that digs deep until you have nothing left to show
This is praying for a cure so the pain will go away
This is listening to others stories so you can help in some way
This is getting it together, picking up the pieces of your life
This is learning to be alone because that is its price
This is a debilitating and life-changing disease called fibromyalgia
This is my life, living in silence trying to run from the nostalgia
You don’t know what it’s like to be me
No this is not about getting pity
This is to shed light on what you don’t know happens inside of me
So next time you look you’ll be able to see
My strength, my dedication, my faith, and my spirit
And when I tell you I’m really hurting, this time you’ll hear it
May you find healing in your life. often writing the words down as you have done is a starting place. Believe in the future and never worry about what others think. You have friends here and while you may never see us or meet us you should know that there are many caring and kind people in this group that pray for your wellness and offer you our friendship..
We really don’t know the extent yet we can always show fellow-feeling and empathize. I pray that God will give you the strength to endure the pain of fibromyalgia and look forward to His promise to remove pain and tears.
Only you know and can really feel what day to day life is like for you. People only know what they see which prompts comments like “you don’t look sick to me.” Judging others comes very naturally for some even though they are in no position to say anything as their lives may be very flawed. Your poem screams to live your life minus pain and to be able to do what you used to be able to do. G-willing that happen. No, I do not suffer from physical pain but there are health issues that affect me. There are only a few people that understand. Most of the time I put up a wall in front of me. Be proud of what you did accomplish in your career. Be proud and happy for how you put so much love into your family. Do not diminish your writing ability. Its is difficult as heck to look for positives when you are suffering in pain or G-d is testing you. As stupid as it may sound all we can do is the best we can do. We have to strive to be good caring people who are willing to help others even if we are limited ourselves. I only wish you the best of everything.