What Happens When Your Skills Don’t Match Your Dreams?

If your skills don’t match your dreams it’s time to learn some new skills.

Currently, we’re bombarded with daily quotes and declarations that support the belief, woman you can be whatever you want to be and as inspirational as that sounds, I think now would be a good time for a reality check around the messaging.

Let’s say you’ve had a lifelong dream to become an astronaut and so far, at age 53, you’ve done nothing about it, nor do you have any relatable skills to support such a dream, bearing in mind that currently, to be considered for an astronaut’s position, a U.S. citizen must meet the following criteria:

  1. A bachelor’s degree in engineering, biological science, physical science, computer science or mathematics.
  2. At least three years of related professional experience obtained after degree completion OR at least 1,000 hours pilot-in-command time on jet aircraft.
  3. The ability to pass the NASA long-duration astronaut physical. Distant and near visual acuity must be correctable to 20/20 for each eye although the use of glasses is acceptable.
  4. You must also have experience in leadership, teamwork and communication skills.

So while there’s no upper age limit to becoming an astronaut, there is a huge criteria you must satisfy first of all, which could take up to ten years to complete. That means you’d be 63 by the time you’re ready and while that is doable and even if you got a position as an astronaut, you’d be away from home for a very long time including space missions and training and by the time you qualified would you still want to go and would such a role be lifestyle friendly?

So where am I going with this? Well If we’re honest, despite the, you can do anything hype, becoming an astronaut is for most mid-lifers out of reach and yes it’s an extreme example but I’m just laying the ground here on the difference between dreaming and doing.

By concentrating on the real connection between your skills and aspirations, you can dispense with the illusion of having unlimited power and yes, it is an illusion because you don’t have unlimited powers.

There I’ve said it. In reality, to realise your dreams, they must be connected to your potential otherwise they’ll remain dreams and idle fantasies.

But something that’s not a dream or an idle fantasy is that constant calling, you know the one you can’t seem shake off, but you still don’t know what to do about it? And that doesn’t surprise me because the very uniqueness of your calling means there’s no specific how-to manual for what you’re sensing and feeling.

The dictionary definition of a calling is a strong urge towards a particular way of life or career, a vocation. My definition is it’s something that excites me with inspiration, guides me with intuition and teaches me through insight.

My calling is the very essence of who I am. The side to me that is called to do the work I do, is not a mystery to me. For me, the actual calling is the easy part because it’s intuitive. I like how it makes me feel and better still I love what it allows me to do, but on its own, as a standalone gift, I could do nothing much with it other than impact the lives of those closest to me and so to get my calling out into the world I had to create a vehicle or a medium that would extend my reach.

If you’ve read my book you’ll know that I eventually did this by creating a business, but the reason I continued to stumble from one mistake to another and for a long time, was because I didn’t have the professional competence to match my intuitive skills. In other words, I didn’t have the skills to match my dreams so I had to learn some new skills, some of which I’ve covered in the book.

The point I make is, it’s likely that you haven’t explored your calling any further for the same reason, although until now you may not have made the connection that you’re stuck because you don’t have the professional competence to match your intuitive skills. Now that you know that’s you’re sticking point, it’s simply a case of comparing the two and finding out what’s missing for you. Once you’ve done that you can get to work on making up any shortfalls.

There are over fifty thousand words in my book. (polish the diamond in your heart) Add to that the years it’s taken me to work this all out on my own and the truth is it comes down to this one simple sentence: To turn your calling into a business you must have the professional competence to match your intuitive skills.

If you use that as your start point then whoever you go to for help will have a good idea of what you want and need!

So what skills do you need to learn in order to realise your dreams? Please pop your comments in the box below and thank you for taking the time today.


Dee Coxon
Dee Coxon
DEE Coxon is a bestselling author of Polish The Diamond In Your Heart and Business Start-up Coach who inspires women to go beyond their known capabilities and get their business online in less time. A former hairdresser and beauty therapist she learned everything she knows about women within the four walls of her own salon where she admits to getting more satisfaction helping clients with their personal struggles, than she did doing their hair and makeup! Self-employed since she was 18, she eventually left her vocational path, swapped her scissors for a lap top and entered the world of academia. In the year she turned 50 Dee gained a Master’s degree, a teaching certificate, became a grandmother and lost her mother to cancer after a 2 year battle, during which she nursed her. A quote by Rufus wainwright: You’re born twice, once at your birth and again when your mother dies” had a profound effect and changed the way she sees and does things now. As the creator of The Fast Class: A bespoke, 1 to 1, accelerated learning experience, designed for beginners and delivered in one day. Dee blends expertise with life experience to make sure her clients get past those self-imposed barriers that keep them from launching a business they love. Dovetailing these two elements is fundamental to the Fast Class and reflected in Dee’s coaching style. Why? Because she believes, no matter where you are in your business journey something is happening within the context of your life, the two are inextricably linked.

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  1. Interesting article.
    I believe above all that the motivational force that pushes people in the direction of their dreams is desire, especially if it is intense and strong. Everything on which we focus and dwell, tends to grow and feed. If one dwells on one’s desires, if one often thinks about it, and continually makes plans to make them come true, they become so strong and ardent as to drive away the forces of procrastination, laziness or demotivation. An intensified desire, which is nourished with frequent positive and optimistic thoughts about its concrete realization, allows us to overcome any fear and obstacle.
    Furthermore, those who intend to make their dreams come true (ie those “selfishly”) have a great responsibility: to identify what it is necessary to know in order to achieve the desired goal. If you do not have the information and knowledge you need directly, you need to ask yourself where and how you can get it.
    Don’t forget the question that dreams must be realistic.