[su_dropcap style=”flat”]H[/su_dropcap]OW LONG HAS IT BEEN since someone you called “Heart Friend” attacked you from your blind side? It’s that side that is out of your peripheral vision, or behind you. This attack is the kind that strikes at your peace of mind and heart. Most often, the choice weapon is words.
Sadly, the pre-heart attack warnings in the “Heart Friend” attack are usually subtle, like a few weird behavior moments; a few snide remarks; or a slight distancing in interactions. Because we are all entitled to some bad moments in a few bad days, we don’t necessarily notice the subtle warnings. It’s like a physical heart attack: we trust our bodies to behave the way they were intended to function; until they don’t. With “Heart Friend” attacks, we trust our heart friends to have our best interests at heart; until they don’t.
Perhaps We Should Dig for the Root
With heart attacks, the first response is usually one of being stunned, then alarmed. Thereafter, we usually start trying to figure out what caused the attack. Perhaps we should consider the root reasons someone we trust and share the sweet communion of friendship with would attack our hearts?
- Perhaps, the mindlessly easy root to dig toward first would be that the heart attack came forth from the attacker’s mean, nasty, and evil (to cause misery for) intentions. Usually, mean, nasty, and evil behavior comes from someone who dislikes us, or someone we’ve experienced contentious interactions with. This heart attack can’t be from that root.
- Perhaps, the heart attack came forth from the attacker’s own heart-speak. This is the lack of self-worth conversations with self. These conversations often begin with comparisons. Could it be that a nasty root began to grow from the attacker’s heart-speak having to do with comparing their lack in some area with a quality they deem of great value in us?
That root is named Jealousy. It usually begins with envy; progresses to suspicion and mistrust; and bears its fruit by declaring its rights; its superior knowledge; and its territory. Its weapon of choice is the back-biting tongue of destroying the credibility and value of others. Its ill-willed venom accuses others because the attacker is resentful or disliking of qualities, or of what others have, that the attacker desires. Roots produce and fruit does not lie.
- Perhaps, the heart attack came forth from the attacker’s frustration with people and situations that are intermingled with the heart friendship. When people try to control and dominate multiple relationships through manipulation, their efforts usually result in turmoil among everyone. Could it be that a nasty root began to grow in the attacker’s life having to do with being offended. Maybe they didn’t succeed in gaining a position, or in getting everyone to cooperate with their will and way?
That root is named Discord. It usually begins with disagreeing and wrangling for recognition and authority; progresses to commanding, demanding, and interrogating; and bears its fruit by declaring its rights; its superior knowledge; and its territory. Its weapon of choice is the back-biting tongue of hateful insults and lying personal attacks. Its selfish venom seeks to destroy the authority or contribution of others, while undermining collateral relationships through conniving to draw everyone unto itself. Roots produce and fruit does not lie.
- Perhaps, the heart attack came forth from being honest with the attacker. If our heart friendship includes straight-forward honesty with one another, this gives place for offense. Could it be that a nasty root began to grow in the attacker’s thoughts having to do with being annoyed or resentful toward us about spoken truth?
That root is named Offended. It usually begins with feeling insulted, or disregarded; progresses to resentment and annoyance for feeling judged or being treated unfairly; and bears its fruit by declaring its rights; its superior knowledge; and its territory. Its weapon of choice is the back-biting tongue of caustic bitterness. This caustic venom blames and accuses others because the attacker believes (accurately or inaccurately) that we could have caused or prevented their challenges, (or the undesirable consequences of their behavior). Roots produce and fruit does not lie.
- Perhaps, the heart attack came forth from the principle-based truths we have spoken to the attacker. When we communicate by using life or biblical principles that cannot fail, often these truths reveal ugly heart conditions, thus the need for someone to change. Could it be that a nasty root began to grow in the attacker’s thoughts and feelings having to do with resistance to changing, or a denial toward the revealed truth?
That root is named Rebellion. It usually begins with feeling embarrassed or defiant; progresses to an attitude of arrogance and condescending behavior; and bears its fruit by declaring its rights; its superior knowledge; and its territory. Its weapon of choice is the back-biting tongue of arguing and refusing to comply with rules or agreed upon plans. Its argumentative venom demands superiority and perpetual convincing, while it argues against the value of other people and plans. It also criticizes people rather than discussing behaviors. Roots produce and fruit does not lie.
Making Heart Sense of It All
Perhaps the heart attack is not about us at all. Perhaps it’s more about the root issues. When we observe the consistent fruit of declaring one’s rights, superior knowledge, and territory – maybe we should take note. This is because roots produce and fruit does not lie.
What if we took note before we have to take cover from an attack? Taking note can involve different pro-active communication and boundary approaches. But, the thing is: we are not responsible for the root issues in others. Yet, we are responsible for our own responses to others, our own root issues, and our own attacks upon others.
What if we attacked others with kindness, humility, and having their best interests at heart? In these attack approaches, we might create a powerful healing balm. The balm could help to kill ugly roots, while drawing and binding Heart Friends together – for a more attack-free life.