I believe that every now and then something so spectacular happens, we remember it forever. But most of the time life is experienced recycled. Our moments seem insignificant until they are gone like vapor. Then one day we look back.
We meet our past while standing in the aisle at the supermarket. We are reminded of a conversation while walking along a tree laden trail. We enter a room and suddenly we sense that we’ve been here before. A song takes us back to a time long forgotten. We are always on the verge of remembering – remembering something.
It’s been over 40 days since moment by moment little pieces of life as we know it started fading. The familiar has become the strange. Every routine has been disrupted. Everything has changed, but something hasn’t. We are going to remember this season for the rest of our lives. At an unforeseen time in the future, what will we remember? How do we want to remember this event, this day, this season. Could it become one of our finest?
Through the Fire
This morning, I was reminded that for many, this has been a season of deep loneliness, anxiety, depression, and fear. The weight of worry is paralyzing people in my neighborhood and friendship circles. How often do we feel like we are drowning with nothing to pull us out of the deep end?
This is our reality. We are going through fire and the scars of this pandemic will impact us for many years. So will the memories borne out of it.
We all have opinions about what should happen, what we want to happen, what we wish had never happened at all. Let’s go with the fact that we can all agree on. We wish this had never happened at all. But it did, so what can we learn from this?
Strategy for Survival
Before we go on, if the news is running 24/7 (well ok, 16/7 because hopefully, you do sleep), be brave. Turn it off. There is nothing life-giving about a steady diet of news. It does not serve you well. If you must watch the news, catch it at noon. Enough! That will tell you everything you need to know.
Find a calendar with very large squares, or make one with your kids. You will need it at least for the next three weeks. If you are alone, this is for you too.
Make a list of these things: Activities to do together. Make a list of Zoom calls for school or online learning. Walks or bike rides. Reading time. Screen time (yes, schedule it). Names, addresses, phone numbers. Organizing/cleaning projects. Outdoor play. Baking. Cooking. Hobby time.
Write every activity on the calendar. Some things might happen every day. Others might be once over the next three weeks. Plan this month of May with as much enthusiasm as a vacation – because this is your survival strategy. What will you learn? Who will you write to? Who will you Zoom with? What games will you play? What will you sew or paint or read or watch? How do you want to remember these days?
Why?
You might think this idea to be nonsense. You might think this crazy idea is a lot of work for the value you’ll receive. I promise you, it will have a high value to work ratio. I also promise it might be a future memory that brings you back to this point in time, a memory of this season.
And we will remember! While shopping, the air hints at fresh ground coffee. Walking past the place where hand-painted rocks decorate the ground. A song on the radio instantly returns you to hours spent on the living room floor.
We Will Remember
These are days of constant togetherness. These are the days of endless time alone. I hate to say it because everyone has worn the saying to shreds. We are all in this together. It doesn’t matter who you are, where you live, how you normally spend your day. Nothing is normal. We might not be in the same set of circumstances, our vessels will look very different, but we are all affected by the waves.
Be careful with your moments because they become your memories. When this is over. When years have passed. How do you want to remember this time? What can you do to make it one of your finest season?
In each of us this period, which we will read in the history books, has left experiences, memories, values, new skills, fears, sadness, purpose, desire for recovery, hopes for the future, occasions, certainties, situations to remember and stories to forget.
Each of these days, these moments, will witness what has affected and affects everyone, connecting thoughts to reality. In it the aspects of suffering and risk will prevail; of concern and anxiety, which will remain incisive with respect to daily regularity. But above all, the flows of thoughts related to what we fear will happen in the circle of those who are part of personal existence will remain sculpted; together with the anger that always lives in human beings when they realize they cannot control life and its (sometimes) raw manifestations in it.
But I would like to think that I will remember all that of beautiful, despite everything, emerged even in the worst moments.
My applause goes first of all to the egregious and surprising, but perhaps not so much, reaction of the younger generations who have governed the cloister of more than two months in a disciplined and responsible manner, drawing on their imagination and their best resources.
Secondly, the many examples of solidarity and altruism filled my heart and the tireless figure of the Pope who, however you think, has humanistically reminded us of the essentials and commonality.
Thank you Jane. The simple shining moments are often what we remember. I so resonate with this article & would like to quote the final passage in my monthly e-letter, if that’s ok with you. (Also going to read your chapter in Chaos to Clarity. Feels like we have some common ground for a conversation!)
“Be careful with your moments because they become your memories. When this is over. When years have passed. How do you want to remember this time? What can you do to make it one of your finest seasons?”
Sora what a treasure to read your comment. Of course, you can share my quote. Most people don’t ask, but I’m impressed that you did. Thank you for reading and letting me know that you identified with something in my story.
Jane, thank you for a positive reflection .I simply do not watch the news. I try to navigate how I live with kindness, caring and respect. Great article my friend. a light in the darkness of current articles that everyone seem to be drawn to writing .
I hear you, my friend. I don’t watch the news unless there is something I know has information I need right then. I admit there are terrible things happening, but others can write about them. I choose to honor humanity by encouraging and inspiring. I know you do the same.
Thank you so much for your kind words, Paula. Taking responsibility for my attitude and writing encouragement is my theme.
This was lovely Jane. I can very well resonate with much
H of it as I post daily on linkedin and some themes are all too familiar among us all. Just today I
Posted “ The covid Times” as this is how they will be remembered. Great reminder and very well written. Thank you for this and have a wonderful week, keep shining your light🙏
Thank you for your kind words, Paula. I will go read The Covid Times. I’m sure it is excellent.