We Need to Talk – Step Two

 In my last Article, I asked you to identify what makes a conversation difficult for you.

How many things did you have on your list?

One?  Two?  More than five?

Two people responded privately to that post with their own ‘light-bulb’ moments.  Coincidentally both of them realised that conversations with a particular individual or ‘type’ of individual (in one case senior women; in another ‘whingers and whiners’) were particularly challenging.

For most of us there are people or ‘types’ of people or situations that press our ‘hot buttons’; trigger feelings, actions or behaviour that is not always helpful to us.

Well here’s the thing.  Carl Jung said “Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.”

So once you can recognise these hot-buttons or triggers –  you can start to look at what you can change. (Because, believe me, you CAN change if you choose to.)

And much as you wish ‘they’ would change – you are only responsible for your own behaviour and reactions; not anybody else’s.

Just knowing this gives you choices.

‘I can choose to do what I’ve always done, or I can choose to do something different – and I can learn how to do something different’

So here’s the SECOND step to having that Conversation – Identify your Choice Points and EXPERIMENT!

Here’s an example.

• I can choose to say nothing in that meeting (my default) OR I can choose to say something.

• I can choose to send an email (and avoid difficult verbal communication – my default) or I can choose to pick up the phone/talk to the person face to face.

What’s the worst that can happen?