Editor’s Note: Enjoy Lynn’s earlier Articles in this Series:
The ‘F’ word
THAT’S ‘F’ for Feelings in case you were wondering …….
In my last two postings I’ve been sharing some steps on the journey to mastering tough/challenging/difficult conversations – call them what you will.
We’ve covered two steps so far.
- Step One: Identify what it is that makes a conversation difficult for YOU
- Step Two: Identify some choice points
We’re looking at emotions, too. (Feelings are low key but sustainable; emotions are more intense and normally temporary – does it matter? Not really)
So, how are you feeling about that challenging conversation?
- What emotions are coming up for you?
Anger? Sadness? Fear?
- WHERE do you experience that emotion – In your chest? Your stomach? Your shoulders? Your head? What aspects of the conversation might create strong emotions for you?
- How are you feeling about yourself in the context of this conversation?
- When I ask my clients these questions, they sometimes have no idea – we’re often so used to suppressing emotion that we don’t even know WHAT we feel or WHERE in our bodies we feel it!
Desensitisation can be a great defence mechanism, too – but what happens when all that feeling gets suppressed?
So here’s the third step to having that Conversation – Know what you’re feeling and where you’re feeling it!
So you know what to do with those feelings.