Suggestions come from many quarters on how to profitably use the time of these long days of imposed enclosure to limit the spread of the infection. the purpose is not only to keep us engaged but, obviously, also to overcome or distract us from sensations, emotions, attitudes that can have a negative effect on each of us, depending on the individual’s ability to face this forced change in lifestyle. our days.
In a previous article, I suggested to “train” patience because this “unwanted guest” doesn’t want to leave us soon!
So, I was reading an interesting article on the difference between the feeling of loneliness and depression, and I was struck by the fact that the experiences of exclusion and many conditions of loneliness are called a “form of narcissistic humiliation because they show us that we are not enough for ourselves, that we need others “and that” loneliness cannot benefit from drug therapy “. I then reflected that this seems to be consistent with the moment we are experiencing, of the spread of the coronavirus epidemic, and indirectly shows that loneliness, if it is not identifiable with a real disease treatable with drugs, actually it is nothing but a human condition.
Fortunately, especially in Italian society (but, I think, in many others), there would be effective antibodies against loneliness: associations, volunteering, parishes, bars, families, sports clubs, and many other forms of social gathering in which to find the best cure: solidarity.
Perhaps it is also the persistence in our culture of these forms of aggregations one of the factors that place us in the penultimate place in the sad ranking of the phenomenon of suicide.
Unfortunately, however, in this difficult moment, it is precisely the protective forms of aggregation that are failing. Furthermore, right now we can experience an unexpected side of loneliness: shared fear can also represent a form of social bond. Now others can pose a danger, but each of us is potentially a danger to others. Being a meter away makes us lack the necessary daily supply of humanity and, therefore, we feel it as a foreign gesture, which it is difficult to get used to, precisely because of our nature as social animals.
Instinctively, in times of difficulty, one seeks refuge in closeness and sharing, and instead at this moment, it is necessary to go against one’s instinct which would lead even more to wanting to embrace others and especially loved ones.
Now is the time for a necessary physical distance, which represents mutual protection and absolutely not an emotional distance. It is time to reverse the attitudes we are used to. Even if it is not possible to embrace and kiss, shake hands, go out together, we must all strive to remain aware of the fact that the effects are unchanged and certainly at this moment also intensified. And it is good to prepare to deal a little with the feeling of loneliness, trying to understand it, because if it is true that it can have negative effects, at the same time it can represent a moment of personal enrichment.
Someone may feel strong and surrounded by strong barriers, but the intelligent person understands that he must prepare defenses that perhaps he will never use, but which he cannot renounce, because nobody is free from the risk of encountering circumstances that put him in condition to live in solitude.
Ultimately, trying to develop new skills intended to face feelings of loneliness should still be everyone’s goal, because these are skills that will come in handy sooner or later in life.
And I conclude by adding that fortunately for contemporary generations they can count on something that previous generations have never had available: computers, the internet, social media, such as Facebook, Instagram, WhatsApp, etc. Although the negative aspects have often been underlined compared to what is the value of real socialization, it is true that as the situation changes, today their use no longer represents a refusal of the real meeting, but a necessary temporary replacement. In these circumstances the network shows all its socializing potential, transforming itself into a network of relationships of mutual support and solidarity.