We encounter daily challenges that confuse us. Let me start with few examples:
My heart says do this but my mind says no. One example of what I mean is a writer who commented on a book that I published. In his comment, he said, “My heart agrees with you but my mind does not”.
Your son asks you to buy him a new mobile phone. Your heart says yes, but your mind says no.
A poor employee who has been working for you for many years steals money to buy drugs for his sick daughter. It is the first time he does this. Your mind says fire him, but your heart says no.
Somebody tells you I like this trait about you, but I hate this trait. I like you as a friend, but I do not like what you do.
You remember an event and you say I like this about it but hate this.
The Detergents Metaphor
The above examples show situations in which we face contradictory Love and hatred, slow and fast such as saying somebody is a slow thinker but fast in action. Other examples such as describing a woman as beautiful in her body but ugly in her mind are common.
Can we decide when we have such a contradictory statement? Should we follow the heart of mind? If we follow the heart, what would the “defeated” mind say?
This polarity reminds me of detergents that have one end water-loving and the other end water-hating. It turns out that this is a great property to removes fatty dirt. The water-loving end attaches to water while fatty dirt attaches themselves to the water-hating part of the detergent and form fatty micelles that carry the dirt away.
Can we apply the same and extend this concept to our lives? For example, can we cluster the bad memories of a person together and the sweet memories together? If we can do so and scarp off the bad memories so that only the good ones remain in the waters of our brains will this be good? Will this action lead to balanced reasons and emotions?
Forgiveness is great. However, forgetfulness may expose us to repeating the same mistakes. My heart says to forgive and forget but my mind says do not do so. I am back where I started.
What do you think is the right thing to do?