The beliefs of the Honorable do not always align.
Children often dream of what they want to be when they grow up. Adults, however, mainly want to have jobs they enjoy; one in which they feel valued, respected, and with opportunities for growth. There are plenty of studies showing how employment impacts our health and mental wellbeing which is far more valuable than what wages alone offer.
Choosing a profession such as a counselor, therapist, or life coach, is frequently initiated by a difficult or challenging event which radically changed that person’s life and now inspires them to help others. That was certainly the case for me. After my marriage fell apart, I was fortunate to find a great therapist. But it wasn’t until three years later, upon completion of my book, when that feeling truly ignited.
I’ll always remember the freedom I felt when my problem was finally pinpointed. The moment I realized it was my own thinking and the negative beliefs I had about myself that was the biggest stumbling block in my life.
Others have described these awakening moments as a weight lifted off their shoulders. Mine was more of an incredible feeling of liberation while ironically giving me a better sense of direction. Although there was still plenty of healing and spiritual growth to be had, there was a confidence before that I’d never fully realized.
My book chronicles part of that journey but mainly focuses on shame and low self-esteem I did not want to admit. The title of the book is: Shame On Me – Healing a Life of Shame-Based Thinking. It details how pervasive shame is, yet continues to go unnoticed by most people. It creates feelings from total unworthiness to complete arrogance. I believed this one concept was the most important one and what the world needed to hear to answer many of its problems.
To this day, I continue to be passionate about this message and wish that everyone could undergo a similar awareness to mine. But there is also something else of equal importance I learned and that is no matter how committed I am to that message if others don’t share that same passion, it does not make them wrong.
This is perhaps one of the greatest obstacles for many. When we experience something so transformative and lifechanging, we want everyone else to experience that same excitement. No matter how altruistic, unselfish, or noble our concerns appear, we cannot demand or expect everyone to be on board with our entire train of thought. No one philosophy holds the solutions to the entire world’s downfalls.
This realization does not put a damper on my enthusiasm. I continue to become more passionate about helping people understand the devastating effects of shame and guide them through their emotional healing process. But I also understand there are others with a message as passionate and healing as mine. The ultimate goal is helping others, not for everyone else to validate and honor my beliefs.
Hello John, I can very much relate to your well written words here. Some of us are passionate on sharing these enlightening moments. It’s with great exuberance we mean the most to help. It’s like a miracle we almost gave up on. All the positive and encouraging words we almost have up on, are now suddenly true! I’m so delighted to hear I’m not alone.
It is the forgiveness that is most paramount to me…self forgiveness is crucial. If we don’t forgive ourselves we can not love ourselves…if we cannot love ourselves..then we cannot love others… Thank you for this article and all the best in all you do, we are the human race and if we should help but one? Then that’s abundant to me! Have a wonderful day my friend?
Paula
Thank you Paula. Your words really made this an even more hallowed eve than I anticipated.
I enjoyed reading your message John – thank you kindly.
I was preparing for a workshop for ‘People With Different Abilities – EMPOWERMENT”, and came across this encouragement – please allow me to share an excerpt from Brené Brown’s book, The Gifts of Imperfection:
“We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness and affection.
Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow, a connection that can only be cultivated between two people when it exists within each one of them – we can only love others as much as we love ourselves.
Shame, blame, disrespect, betrayal, and the withholding of affection damage the roots from which love grows. Love can only survive these injuries if they are acknowledged, healed and rare.”
I agree here Jonathan!?
Thank you kindly, Paula.
Thank you Jonathan. I hope your workshop is a great success!
Thank for your kind wishes… factually, there is a little twist to this workshop, in that the focus will be turned on us – the so called abled people, who have the disability to acknowledge AND appreciate others who have different abilities.
Thank you Dennis!