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Understanding Election Mindsets

happiness mattersThis article is not about who to vote for. It is about understanding the division that is creating heated emotions on both sides. The current election is more divisive and emotional than any in my lifetime.

Regardless of which side you’re on, it is not comfortable to feel that voters for the other candidate are violently opposed to your choice.

I find it is helpful to understand why the worldviews are so diametrically opposed and can’t understand why the other side sees the world as they do.

The purpose of our brains is not to be realistic. It is not to show us reality. Our minds primary function is to prove our beliefs to ourself.

All of us have different beliefs about the world. We have different beliefs about why we are where we are (success or lack thereof, good relationships or bad, good health or bad health, prosperity or lack of prosperity).

On every topic, if someone asks us why at least one and probably many reasons immediately pop into our mind.

Why do you have the job you have?

Why do you not have a job?

Regardless of which question fits your situation, your mind just provided reasons that answer that question. Those reasons reflect reality from a small number of the accurate reasons your mind could chose to explain your current situation.

For example, “Why do you have the job you have?”

A small sample of potentially accurate answers would range from:

I have this job because I studied hard and got good grades in college.

I have this job because I joined this fraternity/sorority and my connections helped me get this job.

I have this job because the man who interviewed me liked my butt.

I have this job because I couldn’t find anything better.

I have this job because Bush screwed up the economy and this is all I can find now.

I have this job because Obama screwed up the economy and this is all I can find now.

I have this job because I am a lifelong auto-didactic learner who continuously improves her skills.

I have this job because I’m really smart.

I have this job because I dropped out of school.

I have this job because I have a prison record and it’s the best I can get.

I have this job because my parents moved when I was in 11th grade and screwed up my chances for a scholarship.

I have this job because it is exactly what I want to do.

I have this job because I interviewed well.

Then, if you go deeper, you mind has reasons that explain why the reason you have the job is as it is.

For example, take this reason “I have this job because my parents moved when I was in 11th grade and screwed up my chances for a scholarship.”

Jeanine Joy, Ph.D.
Jeanine Joy, Ph.D.http://www.happiness1st.com/
WORLD CHANGER, International Speaker, and Trainer – Dr. Joy stepped up to do everything she could to help humanity thrive more after she discovered that she could help to improve societal problems by empowering people to manage their mindset, develop psychological flexibility, and use their innate emotional guidance. She began studying the genesis of human thriving in 1995 and as her knowledge grew she became a thought leader and educator. The evidence-based techniques she teaches and writes about create improvements in physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral health. Her approach has a direct, positive effect on crime, violence, relationships, racism, educational outcomes, suicide prevention, employee engagement, happiness, career success, and more. She focuses on solutions that are both affordable and scalable because she wants to help everyone have a greater opportunity to achieve their dreams and goals. As the owner of Happiness 1st Institute, a Thrive More Now Company, Jeanine speaks internationally and provides training to organizations through her empowering, practical, and usable techniques that target the root causes of human thriving. She is recognized as a bridge builder who creates bridges by translating jargon-laden research into usable information with practical examples that help individuals fulfill more of their potential.

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3 CONVERSATIONS

  1. Your article does a superb job of explaining how our beliefs are the navigation for how we behave. No doubt they are at first learned, and later either firmly cemented or changed due to that conscious effort to believe that “knowing the truth than protecting my existing beliefs.” I recently read about neuroplasticity – which sounds a lot like your explanation of creating neuropathways in our minds. I totally believe the pathways can change – albeit tough once beliefs are cement. I’m not sure that “someone who condemns you or your ideas is acting based on beliefs that are probably unconscious.” Maybe sometimes that’s true, but I think pride, attitude, and will cause people to act deliberately even when in their heart they know they were wrong.

    • Jane,
      Thank you for your compliment, comment, and for the opportunity to add further clarity to that point. Pride can play a role but putting that aside for now, the attitude stems from the beliefs. The actions that come are not unconscious, but the mind (because of the beliefs) finds excuses that justify the behavior.
      Our attitude towards others is about our beliefs about them. Our attitude toward our work is about our beliefs about the work. Today some of the work I do is to help recovering addicts. Before I understood what I now know I used to condemn them because they made bad decisions when they could have made better choices (this was the stance I was taught). There is no way someone with an underlying belief of condemnation could be helpful to recovering addicts. When my belief about addiction and the choices that lead to addictions changed, my attitude about people affected by addiction changed. Attitude is also partially the result of our emotional state and our resources (sleep, health, nutrition, etc.). It is also impacted by knowledge. If we don’t know how to help someone, for example, someone who has lost a loved one to suicide, we may avoid saying anything because we don’t know what to say. If we have confidence about what to say or how to act we will express our compassion.
      Let’s look at someone who believes an entire group of people are bad. That is a belief and it contradicts reality because every group has people who behave poorly and most who behave in pro-social ways. When a person who believes everyone in a group is bad sees someone with that label behaving well or doing things they appreciate their unconscious mind will attribute the positive actions to some nefarious purpose. The person who truly believes all people with that label are bad will not give credit where it is due and will not adjust their belief about people with that label based on one example, or even a series of examples unless and until the person actually questions their own thoughts/beliefs. A recent, horrendous example of that is the Charleston murders at the AME Church. The killer said he was surprised by how kindly he was treated and felt bad about what he was going to do. But he had not been taught to question his beliefs. He believed what he believed (as misguided as that was) so he proceeded to murder nine innocents.
      Don’t get me wrong.
      I am not advocating on his behalf. But if we do not recognize how he arrived at where he was and how it could have been prevented we will continue to experience those types of things. As soon as I heard what he said about his victims being so nice I recognized that if he had learned the real purpose of his emotions at some point (IMO, all children should be taught in school), he would have known to question whether he should follow through on his intentions. At the very least he could have decided he could wait and try to figure out why he was having conflicting emotions before he acted. (I will also state that he would have never made it that far if he knew his negative emotions meant he should find a better perspective about the subject. It never feels good to feel an entire group of people is bad.)
      But he didn’t know what his negative emotion was telling him because like most people he hadn’t been taught the new information. Most of the world is misinformed based on faulty science published in 1939. So he moved forward with his plan despite his own emotions giving him information that would have stopped the act.
      So while he should be accountable for his actions (he knew murder was wrong) society has an increasing level of responsibility because now that we understand more about the purpose/meaning/use of emotions and the power that information has to increase pro-social behaviors, the more we delay widespread education efforts to empower everyone with the information the more responsible we (collectively) become. If a similar situation occurs in another decade I would put far more of the responsibility on society because the knowledge is so important it should be disseminated to all.
      Now I’ll return to pride.
      Pride and the sense that one must protect one’s pride also stems from beliefs. I used to be like almost everyone in that I would feel injured pride and would seek to protect my pride and not reveal things that might lessen my standing with others. When people questioned me I felt some anxiety about defending myself and not losing any esteem. I didn’t seek to lessen this aspect of myself. I simply noticed that when I began really understanding that other people’s behavior and words were about their emotional state and their beliefs and understanding that in order for me to feel good I had to have a good opinion of myself and of others and practiced focusing on feeling good instead of being right, the defensiveness I felt disappeared. I noticed it by its absence.
      When someone questions me I seek to clarify but I am not ultimately invested in whether or not someone gets me or my perspective because even if every reader who ever reads this feels they understand what I have written, their understanding will be based on their perspective and the experiences they have lived–not my experiences and what I have lived.
      I care deeply whether I communicate clearly because I believe what I am seeking to share is of value. But my ego/pride is not wrapped up in whether a specific individual gets it. I can only plant seeds. Sometimes the ground is fertile and sometimes it is not and sometimes even when it is not it will be someday. Even if a large group of people said my words didn’t make sense to them, as long as they were willing to listen and provide feedback, I’d continue attempting to clarify the information because learning to communicate more clearly with them would help me communicate more clearly with others. Right behind my desire to feel good (which in my case requires me to share what I know) is the desire to learn which is largely fueled by a desire to become better at communicating what I know.
      So pride, I believe, stems from the believe that others opinions are important and matter to us, perhaps even that someone else’s opinion of us is more accurate or more important than our own opinion of ourself. But when you know that someone who feels good emotionally will naturally see your good qualities and someone who feels bad emotionally will naturally see your flaws you realize their opinion reflects their emotional state and not your value or worth.
      I spend a fair bit of time trying to find and adopt an opinion of self and others that always felt good. I found that thinking of myself and all others as wonderful met that requirement. Wonderful does not mean perfect because we are all growing and if we were perfect we’d be complete but we’ll never finish becoming who we will be so there will always be room for growth. My perspective makes me look for the good in others and I have developed a belief that everyone has good in them and my job is to find it. Sometimes I take a shortcut by simply seeing a person’s good as an example or learning experience of what not to do but I retain an awareness that if I spent time with the person they would have good qualities.
      Pride conflicts with the desire to feel good because if something takes your pride down a notch, it doesn’t feel good. Pride stems from a belief that other people’s opinions matter.
      Yes, I know that our reputation matters. But reputation can be maintained by doing good and being competent or better. Think about people who damaged their reputation in work environments by being defensive (protecting their pride) when they were wrong. Pride has a tendency to shut down communication. Being willing to learn from one’s mistakes is going to gain more support than being 100% right all the time. Pride is a deep subject. I can’t cover it adequately now but I have hopefully provided enough so that its basis in beliefs is evident.
      You are 100% right that their heart knows it is wrong but most people don’t know the value of the communication from the heart. We’re taught that emotions are unreliable. Emotions become very reliable when the new science is understood. Most people just don’t know how to interpret them. We’re taught that our brains are rational when they are actually highly biased toward proving our beliefs to us. Beliefs are largely formed when our age is still in the single digits–in other words, beliefs are formed without contemplative thought. Heart coherence, which can be measured physically or by our emotions, is the state where we experience the best possible health. High coherence is indicated by positive emotions.
      Thank you for the opportunity to add clarity. Your question is different from others I’ve received and it helped me think about these concepts from a new perspective. That is a gift.

      All the best,
      Jeanine

    • You’ve given a lot more to think about here. Early in your response you said, “Let’s look at someone who believes an entire group of people are bad.” Interesting that you mentioned that when my last article was about how wrong it is to label people based on some invisible group classification. Pride is certainly a deep subject. I don’t think the way I was using it is the same way you described it here. The pride I referred to is knowing full well that something is wrong and doing it anyway. I have not one drop of psychological knowledge in my brain, but I am probably the most enthusiastic cheerleader for the individual, no matter who they are, that you will ever find.

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