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#truLEADERSHIP – Resilience

Often when we are promoted to a leadership position it is for excelling at some unrelated aspect of our work and whilst the swell of pride and ego boost we feel from the validation and acknowledgment makes us feel great in the instant when it comes to actually leading, without the proper training and resiliency, these feelings can quickly slip in to fear, self-doubt and ultimately shame.

If you want your leaders to really fly you have to teach them about failure and the resiliency that comes with it so that when it happens, they are confident in how to use this data to help them move through and passed it.

If they do not have the skill set to get themselves back up when they fall, they may well just decide the risk is too great to ever try in the first place.

I am therefore in favour of a pre-emptive approach rather than an after the fact solution, as things are often far trickier to resolve when trying to pick up the pieces, once they have already fallen. Especially with no clear road map of how they should go back together.

Think of a jigsaw puzzle with no picture to follow, even if you got close to completing it the first time, if it were to fall to the ground without that picture to guide you, how would you know where all the pieces should go?

I call this “preparation over reparation” and it will undeniably save you time, energy, and stress. Not to mention improved employee engagement in the long run.

For me, the solution starts with the onboarding process, set the expectations and boundaries from day one, and then this is compounded by the ongoing training and development, either internally or externally. It is no good simply talking the talk without giving your leaders permission to walk the walk. Whilst it might be a cliché, it is absolutely critical with a new leader and/or a new team. Failure is part of the process and that is the key word here. Process. Learning how to process the data of failure into the great learning opportunity it is. Remembering all the while there is no failure only feedback.

We naturally internalise, speculate, tell ourselves stories to explain difficult situations, allowing our minds to fill in the gaps, but if we already have those base points to build from, processing the failure becomes easier and as a result, collectively the team are able to move through it faster with greater clarity, innovation and without fear of judgement.

When we all work toward creating that safe environment and promoting psychological safety, the anxiety around judgement, condemnation, and rejection are removed and the need for resiliency is diluted.

But until you get to that place practising this caring, supportive and resilient mindset and behaviour will go a long way to resonating your true intentions and future behaviour with your new team and affirming your position as a #truleader who always prioritises the needs of others before their own and values the importance of true connection as the catalyst for higher-performing teams.

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Rhys Thomas
Rhys Thomashttps://truselfcoaching.com/
I work with individuals who have suffered a traumatic experience in their lifetime, who no longer wish to have it impact their mental health, their relationships with others and dictate how they show up in this world. When you show up as your #truself you’re empowered by that inner voice, you let go of attachment and judgement, are free to move beyond fear and expectation, to truly manifest your dreams into reality. There remains a taboo around the word trauma and many people when asked might assume the defensive and say, “not me”, for fear of how this may be perceived by others, but every single one of us has faced adversity at some time which has either built us up or broken us down. Personality traits, behaviour patterns, belief structures all stem from our past experiences but coping mechanisms forged in the fire only ever weigh us down, lead to more pain and deny our #truself from returning. The truth is it’s not the incident itself which is the real trauma it is the response to it and the resulting impact you allow it to have on your life and those around you, from that point forward, which does the real harm. Choosing curiosity over fear, self-compassion over self-judgement and acceptance over denial are the first steps we use to break down the protective walls which were once built up for protection, but which ultimately keep us stuck living out familiar storylines and conforming to a pale imitation of our #truself. Having studied many different modalities and practices during my own journey including kundalini yoga, breathwork, meditation, indigenous ancient wisdoms, emotional intelligence, mindfulness and loving awareness, Buddhist psychology, Vedic scripture and astrology, Zen practices and Taoist philosophy, I am uniquely blessed to help guide you along this path of your awakening and reconnecting you with your #truself. Founder of #truself Coaching; 1:1 and Mastermind Groups; Workshop/Retreats Designer, Facilitator, Trainer, Guide; Bespoke Corporate Wellbeing Programmes; Online Community Builder; Writer and Content creator – Holistic Wellbeing, Mental Health, Mindfulness; #TNT 2.0 Podcast Host – Exploding the Status Quo on Leadership (100+ episodes) Available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Anchor. Previous: 18+ years in Corporate Sales and Executive Search in UK and APAC regions.

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CONVERSATIONS

  1. Moving to a managerial position is a move that brings with it new challenges and responsibilities. These new expectations can be daunting for first-time users. Preparation, an open attitude and a desire to learn can be the keys to success.
    Being at the helm of a company, for example, is a role that does not end with the ability to have a business idea and the ability to shape it and make it a reality. The skein of complexities linked to entrepreneurial management, in fact, unravels day after day, requiring preparation, empathy and determination.
    Preparation, to always be able to have a complete and professional view of the company and its state of health.
    Empathy, to better relate to all corporate stakeholders, creating stable and constructive relationships.
    Grit, to interface without hesitation with colleagues who are not always easy to manage partners.
    Strength, preparation, determination and the ability to manage relationships, these are the ingredients to cultivate.

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