In our high-paced professional lives, anger is an emotion many of us grapple with, often feeling it is something to suppress or ignore. However, anger, when understood and managed mindfully, can become a powerful tool for personal and professional growth. In this article, we delve into how to navigate anger with mindfulness, transforming it from a destructive force into a catalyst for positive change.
Understanding the Nature of Anger
Anger is one of the trickiest emotions we face. It’s an inner fuel that offers an addictive rush, signaling that something in our environment needs to change. Whether we are conscious of it or not, our repeated reactions to anger shape our neural pathways, influencing how we perceive and respond to situations.
When in the grips of strong emotions like anger, our brain focuses on information and memories that confirm our feelings. This can distort our ability to process new information or recall past knowledge that contradicts our current emotional state. We’ve all experienced moments of “blind rage” where we miss obvious cues or forget important details.
Cultivating Mindful Awareness
Mindfulness is about being present without judgment and with curiosity. To cultivate mindful awareness, begin by getting curious about your anger. Accept that you are experiencing it without trying to justify it. Simply be with it, witness it, and allow and accept it. By doing so, you start to create a space between yourself and the emotion. This distance allows you to observe anger as a passing feeling rather than being enmeshed in it.
When you are calm enough, you can look deeply into your anger to understand what brought it about and what caused the discomfort or trigger. It may be a particular kind of thought, such as ruminating on a past event or comment made by someone. You might find it is linked to a specific belief, value, expectation, or judgment about how you or others should behave or be perceived. Sometimes, the response is perfectly natural but rooted in an old habitual reaction. Allow the light of mindful awareness to gain insight into the emotion. Reflect on how you want to respond, perhaps realizing that your thoughts are not reality and, therefore not to be taken too seriously. The key is to trust yourself in your ability to cultivate to choose a healthier way to navigate going forward.
The Neuroscience of Anger
Neuroscience shows that each time we express anger, we reinforce and strengthen its neural pathways. The idea that venting anger leads to peace is a myth. While discharging anger might bring temporary relief, it often signals a cycle that ensures the emotion’s return. Anger can feel empowering, but it’s important to manage it mindfully rather than let it control us.
Brain science has demonstrated that anger rehearses itself each time it is expressed, deepening the neural grooves that make it more likely to recur. This means that rather than finding peace, frequent outbursts of anger actually make us more prone to anger in the future.
Mindfulness Practice: Embracing Anger
Mindfulness teaches us to be present with anger, connecting with it and allowing its energy to rise and fall without acting on or suppressing it. This practice might seem simple, but it is profoundly effective. By being present with our anger, we can learn from it instead of being driven by it.
Exercise: Alleviating Feelings of Anger and Resentment
- Ground Yourself: Bring your awareness to your current experience. Feel the weight of your body sinking into the floor, chair, or bed. Notice any sensations and accept them as best you can.
- Breathe and soften: If you notice tension, especially around your breath, let go a little more with each exhale. Observe your thoughts as they come and go, like clouds in the sky.
- Expand Awareness: Allow your awareness to gather around the breath deep in your body. Feel the sensations in the torso with each inhale and exhale. Each time your mind wanders, gently bring it back to your breath.
Include the Whole Body: Expand your awareness to include your whole body. Feel its weight and shape. If you experience pain or discomfort, keep your awareness open and cultivate acceptance.
