I’m tired of being judged.  I’m tired of being criticized.  I’m tired of people thinking they know who I am when they don’t know the first thing about me.  I’m tired of not being listened to.  I’m tired of adjusting to others instead of others adjusting to me.  I’m tired of putting my feelings second to others.  I’m just plain tired.

I’m not wanting to whine or complain but some days that is just how I feel.  I have a right to feel that way.  Not every day is going to be rosy so why do I have to pretend it is the best day ever.

I get that every day may be my last.  I get that I should look at the positive.  I get that it will make for a better day.  I get that I make decisions that affect how I feel.  I get all that.  I’m still tired.

I might see things differently but that doesn’t mean I’m wrong and you are right.  I just see things differently, that’s all.  And maybe you see them too but you just can’t be honest with what you see because it might not be what you want to see.  That doesn’t mean I still don’t see things I prefer not to.

I still can see the bad even if you ignore it.  I can still see the lack of empathy towards others even if you believe you have it.  I can still see that inclusion is not for everyone even if you say it is.

In the end, we are all different.  I will never fully be able to see exactly what another person sees.  I can express what I see but that doesn’t mean you will understand.

In the end, we are all different.  I will never fully be able to see exactly what another person sees.  I can express what I see but that doesn’t mean you will understand.

I am tired of being told not to be frustrated.  So you can see my frustration?  Do you think that which frustrates me doesn’t matter or is it just that it doesn’t matter to you?  I’m just curious because perhaps if you did something different, that is causing my frustration, my frustration would go away.  Just telling me not to be frustrated doesn’t help eliminate my frustration.

Yup, I’m just tired.  I’m tired of the way I see things.  I’m tired of always trying to find the positive.  I just want to be the person I am but it feels like I can’t.  It feels like my personality will always overpower those that learn who I truly am.  I will never be able to be that person I want to be because it is raw truth and we just aren’t able to handle the raw truth.

Maybe it’s the rain that has me tired.  Maybe the clouds just are too much for me on a day like today where at the heart of me I am just plain tired.

I suppose I should get up and start to do something productive because that will make me feel better.  Push through the feeling of being tired.

Yup, just plain tired and now I’m tired of writing about it so mission accomplished.


Raissa Urdiales
Raissa Urdiales
Raissa lived most of her life along the shores of Lake Michigan in Wisconsin. She currently lives in the quiet city of Tega Cay, South Carolina, just across the border from the very active art community of Charlotte, North Carolina. Raissa has not always considered herself as an artist. She spent a great portion of her adult life staring into computer screens and managing computer system implementations and upgrades in the traditional corporate setting. It was through a chance paint night that she discovered her passion for painting. On her 51st birthday, she treated herself to some acrylic paints and brushes and has not stopped painting since. She balances her passion for creating with her day job as a systems analyst. In the wee hours of the morning, you will find her painting before she immerses herself in the technology that is consuming the world today. Although Raissa does not have formal training in the arts she is very conscious of the benefits it has on the human psyche. She holds a Bachelor's of Science majoring in Psychology where she focused her studies on Organizational Psychology. Through her corporate career, she has learned how to strike a balance between that which provides monetary reward and that which fulfills us as humans. For her, this balance is obtained through painting, writing, and exercise. She is currently a member of the Guild of Charlotte Artists where she exhibits select pieces during the quarterly art shows in and around the Charlotte Metropolitan Area. She has also submitted and is featured regularly in the Light Space & Time online gallery. When she is not painting or working with computer systems, she is writing. She currently has a column with BIZCATALYST 360° named “Artful Being” where she writes on topics both in and out of her corporate life to help others gain balance on what it is to be human.

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  1. A very powerful and yet touching Article I can relate to ever word you say and I often take solace in the rain and the open highway. It is our journey and how we live it is our choice. I truly felt and loved your Article.

    • Thank you Larry. The rain can be soothing. I remember this day well. Sometime the admission that we are tired is just what we need to move on.

  2. Riassa, I totally understand your article and its meaning. I personally have made it a point to not look at judgement on what others say or do, and as a result there have been many that don’t agree with my attitude on that action. But you know what? I don’t care. I simply tell the person attempting to give me advice ” you shouldn’t do, you shouldn’t let, you should, you should you shouldn’t” ” (my answer”?) this is what I choose to do, its my opinion.