On my daily walks, I commune with mother nature. In my childhood, I’d feel her presence day and night. I’d laugh when she’d toss my hair with the wind. Hug her tightly when she dried my tears with the sun.
She delighted in me and I in her.
I remember the moon and stars above us, in, and through us; the sacred umbilical cord to all things.
And so, she is and so we are.
As I walked this morning, my heart was radiant with love for her. My joy spiraled up to my lips, making it impossible not to smile.
In the middle of this happy feeling I heard her say, “Feel them. Feel those who miss you.”
I hesitated for a moment, the smile dropping from my face. I hadn’t expected this break in sacred communion. While I would accept the invitation, I also noted my initial resistance to it.
Choosing from an empowered place I began. I felt the weighty frequencies of communing, loving and appreciating slow to stillness.
I was bare.
Waves of being missed pulsed through me and I began to sob. My heart heaved with ocean-like rhythms; my spine ached and throbbed.
I bent over, wrapping my arms around me.
My ovaries began to ache, sending intermittent pangs of pain through me.
I didn’t know who was missing me, whether they were the souls of the living, of the dead, or both and it didn’t matter. I just allowed myself to receive.
Glorious, awful, beautiful, sad, unworthiness, and safety pulsed through me unwillingly and cathartically all at the same time. I fought the discomfort of being deeply loved. I fought the discomfort of truth: that I matter, that I’m missed, that I’m valued, that I’m worthy, that I already am.
I fought the reflex to love and appreciate others, to worship, honor and commune. I fought it because it was in the way. It was a shield against receptivity, the place most vulnerable.
You are missed, my love.
You are missed, dear reader. You are missed in the most palpable way.
Give yourself a place, a space, some time to slow your thoughts to stillness. Give yourself permission to let go of positivity, doing, saving the world and creating for a bit. In that space allow yourself to be missed in the felt experience of your body. Leave your mind out of it for a while.
You are missed.
Welcome Allison. Great imagery, powerful with a longing that hurts the heart to read. Very touching and a bit sad.
Welcome Allison. Intriguing article!
I hope we will have an opportunity to debate in the future.
Allison, welcome to the BC360 family! This piece flowed so rhythmically as I read it – each word captivating me and lulling me into a place of comfort and calm. Something that I needed this week, and I suspect something that many of us seek. Thank you for sharing such a beautiful canvas with us. I look forward to reading more from you.
Thank you so much, Laura! That touched my heart.
Welcome Allison! As someone who became a BizCat less than six months ago, I cannot say enough about this remarkable, engaging community. Your writing is just lovely and thought-provoking. Thank you for this poetic piece.💖
Welcome Allison and look forward to more of the your enlightening writings to share with all on BC360.
Thank you! I look forward to more writing.
Welcome to the group, Allison. I wish you much success and happiness here. Your first contribution was beautifully written as well as being captivating to read.
Hi, Joel. Thank you for welcoming me and for your thoughtful comments. I’m grateful to be a part of this community and I look forward to writing more!
You are more than welcome for the comments. The BC360 community looks forward to reading your forthcoming articles.
Welcome to BizCatalyst360, Allison! Thank you for this moving essay. I know that there’s much being said and written about the downsides of “always being positive” especially, if we haven’t fully felt all the other feelings in our hearts.
Thank you, Laura! The Great Mother has been a wise and loving teacher to me. I appreciate you reading this and for your comments.
Wow Allison…
So much passion and depth here of gorgeous femininity and masculinity intermingled in your striking offering- I had to catch my breath as it was that delicious. How exciting to have more Divine Union interpretations enter the BizCatalyst family. It is a pleasure to meet you and experience your feelings and presence of work. Lovely to my heart. Thank you!
Hello, Maureen. Thank you so much! Your comment made me smile. I’m happy to bring more writings on Divine Union to BIZCATALYST 360. I’m so glad this piece was lovely to your heart. 💖
Allison – Welcome to the BC360 family of authors. May you find respectful engagement, encouragement that brings out the best in your writing, and form new friendships that warm your heart. Your first article is thoughtful and is a great introduction to your writing.
Len – thank you! I’m happy to be part of a new community, one with warm and loving hearts. It feels wonderful to have my work read and shared. Thank you.