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This Is About How Much You Are Missed

On my daily walks, I commune with mother nature.  In my childhood, I’d feel her presence day and night.  I’d laugh when she’d toss my hair with the wind. Hug her tightly when she dried my tears with the sun.

She delighted in me and I in her.

I remember the moon and stars above us, in, and through us; the sacred umbilical cord to all things.

And so, she is and so we are.

As I walked this morning, my heart was radiant with love for her.  My joy spiraled up to my lips, making it impossible not to smile.

In the middle of this happy feeling I heard her say, “Feel them.  Feel those who miss you.”

I hesitated for a moment, the smile dropping from my face.  I hadn’t expected this break in sacred communion.  While I would accept the invitation, I also noted my initial resistance to it.

 

Choosing from an empowered place I began.  I felt the weighty frequencies of communing, loving and appreciating slow to stillness.

I was bare.

Waves of being missed pulsed through me and I began to sob.  My heart heaved with ocean-like rhythms; my spine ached and throbbed.

I bent over, wrapping my arms around me.

My ovaries began to ache, sending intermittent pangs of pain through me.

I didn’t know who was missing me, whether they were the souls of the living, of the dead, or both and it didn’t matter.  I just allowed myself to receive.

Glorious, awful, beautiful, sad, unworthiness, and safety pulsed through me unwillingly and cathartically all at the same time.  I fought the discomfort of being deeply loved.  I fought the discomfort of truth: that I matter, that I’m missed, that I’m valued, that I’m worthy, that I already am.

I fought the reflex to love and appreciate others, to worship, honor and commune.  I fought it because it was in the way.  It was a shield against receptivity, the place most vulnerable.

You are missed, my love.

You are missed, dear reader.  You are missed in the most palpable way.

Give yourself a place, a space, some time to slow your thoughts to stillness.  Give yourself permission to let go of positivity, doing, saving the world and creating for a bit.  In that space allow yourself to be missed in the felt experience of your body.  Leave your mind out of it for a while.

You are missed.

Allison Kenny
Allison Kennyhttps://bellydance-meditation.teachable.com/
Allison Kenny is the Founder of Activate Your Divine Feminine LLC dba Bellydance Meditation®, Renew Goddess Flows®, and The Shimmy Cure!®. She is also a Subject Matter Expert for The Yoga Alliance, the largest association representing the yoga community, with more than 100,000 Registered Yoga Teachers (RYT). Having taught and performed Bellydance for over 15 years, Allison created, Bellydance Meditation Simplified: A Yoga Teacher's Guide to Mastering Goddess Flows. The accredited course is 100% automated, providing 20 CEUs, and offers Yoga teachers a way to deepen their knowledge of balancing the 7 major chakras through divine feminine energy integration. Allison has seen the power of this ancient dance medicine (Belly Dance) heal women from the inside out. Allison's mission is to certify 1000 yoga teachers and 1000 belly dance teachers around the world so that they can collectively recover this knowledge and teach it in their unique style. In addition, Allison is a part of 360° Nation and writes for their publication BizCatalyst 360° because she believes in "community as communion," preserving our humanity and helping others to reconnect to themselves and one another. Allison can be reached at [email protected], and on Instagram: bellydancemeditation. She's happy to serve as a guest speaker live or virtually, or through podcasts and IG take-overs to get this message to as many people as possible.

16 COMMENTS

  1. Allison, welcome to the BC360 family! This piece flowed so rhythmically as I read it – each word captivating me and lulling me into a place of comfort and calm. Something that I needed this week, and I suspect something that many of us seek. Thank you for sharing such a beautiful canvas with us. I look forward to reading more from you.

  2. Welcome Allison! As someone who became a BizCat less than six months ago, I cannot say enough about this remarkable, engaging community. Your writing is just lovely and thought-provoking. Thank you for this poetic piece.💖

  3. Welcome to BizCatalyst360, Allison! Thank you for this moving essay. I know that there’s much being said and written about the downsides of “always being positive” especially, if we haven’t fully felt all the other feelings in our hearts.

  4. Wow Allison…

    So much passion and depth here of gorgeous femininity and masculinity intermingled in your striking offering- I had to catch my breath as it was that delicious. How exciting to have more Divine Union interpretations enter the BizCatalyst family. It is a pleasure to meet you and experience your feelings and presence of work. Lovely to my heart. Thank you!

  5. Allison – Welcome to the BC360 family of authors. May you find respectful engagement, encouragement that brings out the best in your writing, and form new friendships that warm your heart. Your first article is thoughtful and is a great introduction to your writing.

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