They wait patiently.
With seniors in my circle and visits and time shared is most on their minds.
They wait: for us to visit, to hope things are better, that time will move more quickly.
My father was in a rest home, in limbo for nearly 10years. Waiting after a stroke.
Not here and not in heaven yet. They wait.
For a visit, for a touch of kindness or a warm memory.
Today we went to a senior center to dine with a friend. We are all friends, not family.
They wait for a hint of the life they once led.
They wait for a moment when they will. Be treated like human beings.
They wait. Unable to care for themselves. They wait mostly for care, for food, for a kind word, for a visit.
So many years away from my family. They waited for a word, a call, a visit. I waited to earn the time, the money, the privilege to visit them. The seven-day workday doesn’t make sense to those because of their age and health can’t be with their families. The pressure of the modern world is hard to understand by those who wait.
Once I landed back here my career turned into a series of jobs that kept me alive but not providing the extra time or money to visit those who waited.
I saw them so infrequently it pained me but it really mattered because they waited.
Cynthia this hits home as many in my family passed from Alzheimer . I away felt I could see them enough. A very strong message you give us.
Very touching post, Cynthia. It is impossible to deny that seniors who can no longer live an independent life need specialist care. And yet no matter how high-end homes for the elderly can be, the very term ‘home for the elderly’ is a misnomer because it is anything but a home. Same reasoning for orphanages. Doable solutions for such delicate circumstances are far from easy to work out because they require a radical in mind-shift and in support structures. I do believe that the first step is to dump the concept of what we call and conceive as ‘homes’.
Blessings Cynthia, as I read your post, I often think of my own situation where my children are not in touch and I cannot even see my grandchildren. To explain why is a mute point, but the end result is still the same and that is the loneliness one feels when they are sure they are forgotten. This is not related to what I just said, but to your post: There was a time I was visiting nursing homes, and I would alway feel sad walking through the hall ways, peeping into each room to see those unable to help themselves sitting, waiting, alone, or just surviving. I popped my head into one room one day to see a young woman, probably in her late twenties lying there, and just staring at the TV that was on with no volume. I stopped, spoke to her and realized she could not speak back, but her eyes spoke to me as she focused on my voice and I could tell she could hear and understand. When I left, (making a promise to myself that I would return with a way for her to listen to music without disturbing anyone else, I stopped and asked the main station about her. They said she had been there since she was 18, her family dropped her off and has not been back to see her. She receives no visitors. This saddened me deeply. When I returned with the CD player with the music, and she could hear the sounds, her eyes lit up. The nurses told me that I was one of very few who took time to stop in and speak with her. She has sinced pass, but it makes me wonder if her family that left her there ever thought of her or realized she was gone.
Wow thanks for sharing
The theme is delicate.
Grandparents often end up in a retirement home for several reasons. When the home environment begins to become a risk for the elderly, the choice of a residence can free from many worries. However, it happens that families do not always reside near the nursing home. Others are simply abandoned. Some lose all contact with their family members and in this case the work of nursing homes is vital. Some seniors, if welcomed into a socially stimulating environment, improve their lives. Because these elderly people ask for something simple such as receiving visits, having a little company, being remembered.
The real difference on their quality of life is the emotional outline. By completely delegating the care and safety of their loved one, family members should be able to concentrate so only on their role as bearers of affection that, without the worries and worries of knowing the parent only at home, they can be expressed in new and important ways, able to return quality time to the relationship.
One grandmother lived with us until she went to a home down the street. We went weekly to visit as we were still in grandmother my dad went more often. Other grandparents lived a hour away as they aged visits became more frequent. I guess it has really been on mind as i am currently single and live alone.what do you when you don’t have anyone? Thanks for commenting
Thank you for sharing this Cynthia. I am privileged to be involved with a group as we vise a few rehab facilities once a week. We sing old hymns, talk, pray, listen. We all leave with more than we came with….receive more than we give. Some have family, some don’t……but we are all family. Love is meant to share.
I agree.. I shared this in hopes it will remind those who have some one inside or those groups musical whatever who need a captive audience, a good idea is to visit your local senior home.
Cynthia, this article hit home for me on several fronts. I brought back memories of the past that perhaps I would be better off forgetting. Thank you for writing and sharing this article. As I mentioned it really hit home.
Cynthia – A truly touching piece. My mother is in a long care facility due to dementia. I call her everyday – we have the same conversation everyday – but I look forward to these few minutes each day as does she. I wish she was closer so I could visit her but that just is not possible. So, I call and your essay tells me that it is important. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks for sharing