The Very First Limiting Belief I Destroyed: Homophobia

–I was stupid and thought the time has come to apologize to the homosexual community

There is one grand lie — that we are limited. The only limits we have are the limits we believe.

~Wayne Dyer

Let’s start from the beginning, shall we?

How is homophobia created? Like any other limiting belief, it starts in the household. Interestingly, in Christianity, Judaism, and Islam, homosexuality has been considered sinful — at least for the conservative groups.

More to the point, if you were raised in a religious family system, chances are high you were vehiculated the message by your caregivers, and have built a biased algorithm around homosexual communities in your subconscious program.

For the quick story, I was listening to the radio and joined the debate during the last 15 minutes. It was enough to feel disgusted. The host and his guests were discussing a bill of law about legalising homosexuality. The arguments of the opponents were revolting. They were talking about it as if it was a virus or a demon to kill at all costs.

Today, I decide to admit my crime: I used to be an idiot. I used to be homophobic for 90% of my existence on earth. It is the reason why I can empathize. I will forever be ashamed of this limiting belief and will never be able to explain how fulfilled I feel for having recovered from my distortion!

After an out-of-body experience where I saw all the lies of my unhealthy ego, I needed to heal, I took three months to take care of the most obvious scars and gain some strength for the painful work waiting for me. Evolving my outlook began with re-evaluating my algorithm on homophobia during a self-awareness exercise.

By unhealthy ego, I am referring to the false self we create as an adaptation to our environment and the discrimination against our intrinsic worth by our caregivers. It is one of the main sources of our suffering. Should you be interested, I explored the topic in detail here: On Suffering and the End of Suffering

How does it happen?

One needs to ask oneself two trivial questions:

  • Is the homosexual community hurting anyone by their sexual orientation? It is similar to ask oneself whether anyone’s heterosexuality hurts somebody else. Note that I don’t even use the straight label. The answer is as trivial as the question: No.
  • If I am homophobic, am I violating any universal principle? The answer is: Yes. I am violating the principle of human dignity. I am violating the principle of free will if we consider there is a choice at all. We only need to observe the animals’ kingdom to realize homosexuality is natural. I am violating the principle of fairness. The homosexual community suffers from discrimination and marginalization daily.

Taking one’s responsibility to change what we were not responsible for creating in the first place — our subconscious program — is probably the highest level of strength and wisdom.

You don’t want to be like the person I was, by holding onto some limiting beliefs you never chose in the first place. By working on your conditioning patterns, you’ll slowly but surely unleash the servant leader in you. S/he is only waiting for you to take your power back and clean the dust of the life-time of conditioning. Should you be interested, I explored a non-exhaustive list of their virtues here: What Does Make Us Attracted To Some People Without Controlling It?

Dear kind souls: know that you are the secret weapon to reverse superficiality, cruelty, selfishness, and immorality. We all come to this physical reality, spend some time, and go. The question is:

How would you like to be remembered?


As usual, I want to thank all of you, dear readers, who decided to stop by and give this piece some of your precious time! Also, my gratitude goes to GiaB, its wonderful conductor Victor Sarkin, and all the devoted editors who have all my respect and love!


Myriam Ben Salem
Myriam Ben Salem
I am deeply passionate about everything life has to offer. Writing has been my very favorite means to educate my audience, captivate their attention, talk to their emotions, and make them relate and take action. I have been honored by working as a columnist for BIZCATALYST 360°, an Award-Winning life, culture, and biz new media digest, serving as the global hub for enhanced performance and well-being, during 2020. Also, I am a contributing author in Mayhem to Miracles: True Stories of Courage, Triumph, and Peace. I am so in love with writing that I have a peaceful smile drawn on my face whenever I start visualizing the books I will be writing for whoever will be tempted to discover an inclusive philosophy breaking with all the stigmas! I was born in Tunisia, a small country in North Africa. I did pretty much everything earlier than the average: walking, talking, singing, dancing. Promoted throughout my entire education, I was also the leader of every end-of-year party. At some point, after working several years for multinational companies as an engineer, team leader, project coordinator, and product owner while always being a top performer, I figured out I was feeling miserable despite the 'perfect external image'. That marked the starting point of an existential crisis followed by an episode that triggered my re-birth and the beginning of the most rewarding adventure of my whole existence: re-writing my subconscious program and reconnecting with my true self. I was saved at the last moment through an out-of-body experience making me see all the lies, realize this gigantic Universe was not revolving around me. Most importantly, I was able to visualize I was here to leave a legacy like all of you, no matter how big or small! The butterfly took time to emerge though. Today, I identify myself as a Universal Citizen. Like-minded and light-hearted people are what I call home. I am deeply passionate about everything life has to offer, and was granted the edutainer qualifier: a combination between education and entertainment! I educate on the importance of healing unsuspected traumas, seeing our limiting beliefs and biases with honest lenses, finding one's purpose and a principled mission that goes beyond the self, and unleashing the hidden potential so that to leave our legacy for the generations unborn. I have been using a panoply of means that could vary from explicit ones such as mentorship, speaking, and writing, a skill that emerged naturally during my self-actualization process to implicit mediums like storytelling, how I daily show up in the world and model servant leadership! Writing is my very favorite and most preferred tool deployed for my mission. The topics I explore are in the nexus of stoic philosophy, psychology, neuroplasticity, epigenetics, and pretty much any topic involving human behavior. Common denominator? The quality of the subconscious program. You may have a look at some of my works published on my website; Set Yourself Free.

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