News Flash: there are serious problems, conflicts, and obstacles in our world, our workplaces, and our personal lives.
Even more, many of us are experiencing complex challenges that reach into the deepest recesses of our minds – triggering fear, stress, and distress. As a result, these personal struggles are having crucial impacts upon our daily decisions, performance, and well-being.
The struggle is real. And this kind of struggle involves powerful thoughts that have the ability to confine us in the ultimate prison – that of our minds.
Would you agree that flippant cliché’ responses, common positive energy slogans, and goofy emoji’s can be seriously annoying in the face of becoming the ultimate prisoner?
In times like these, we need some concrete direction and definitive tools for dealing with the harsh reality that is contributing to confinement.
Lightening the Load to What We Can Do
Over a ten month period of time, a five-year-old girl endured aggressive chemotherapy for a rapidly advancing leukemia diagnosis. From one day to the next, she was catapulted into a world she had never known. Likewise, her family, extended family, and huge circle of friends were faced with a world of possibilities and fears they rarely considered.
From raging shock and horrendous fear to forced hopefulness – a multitude of people were hugely impacted. There was a mountain of fast-moving foreign information that created a roller coaster of physical, mental, and emotional turmoil.
Imagine the daily endurance required to simply make it through the barrage of people and treatment protocols coming into a five-year-old’s personal space. On top of that, the multitude of crucial, life-altering decisions coming at the parents from one moment to the next. There were so many other life-changing impacts on a daily basis – all before their worst nightmare became their new reality!
And this is just one of a million life scenarios that are happening to people all over the globe – seemingly every day. What are we to do in managing our individual lives, behaviors, and thoughts in the face of life’s harshness? How do we accomplish some semblance of peace, normalcy, and progress toward life goals, even as we remain free from the ultimate confinement?
For starters, what pieces and parts of the problems, conflicts, obstacles, and challenges can we push aside in an effort to simply lighten the mental and emotional load?
As a frontline tool, what if we focused valuable energy, resources, and solutions upon what can be changed? In other words, if we selectively eliminate the pieces and parts that are not under our control – the things that we cannot change – what remains in focus?
For most of us, what remains under our control consists of more than enough to navigate and consume our time and energy.
As a second line tool, whatever time and energy remains, we can choose to think on and to declare logical probabilities, like:
- Many people involved in challenging situations, with differing opinions and gridlocked relationship dynamics, eventually reach peaceable compromises.
- The majority of people, who fret about the most extreme safety risks, never experience violent crimes in their own lives.
- Most people do not develop a life-threatening illness that leads to premature death.
- There are many people, who have gone before us, that have overcome similar life challenges – moving forward to thriving in joy.
Another benefit to declaring logical probabilities is that we open the door to accepting what remains of what we cannot change.
Still Immobilized by What Remains
Now, what if we find ourselves still immobilized as we look upon and ponder what to do with what remains in our control (after accepting what we cannot control)? Could it be that a great part of the immobilization is in how we view or think about, the problems, conflicts, obstacles, and challenges?
In other words, is it really our perspective in the matter that is causing the immobilization?
Our perspective consists of our outlook, our viewpoint, our frame of reference, and our interpretation of the variables within our situation.
Simply stated, it could be that our perspective in the matter is zapping our energy and keeping us from functioning and moving forward toward solutions. For instance:
- We can be so utterly frustrated by the drama other people bring to daily interactions that we unwittingly contribute more drama to the situation through our feelings of exasperation. √Wasted Energies.
- We can be so concerned about protecting our rights before they are ever infringed upon, that we create an environment of combativeness instead of comradery. √Futile Efforts.
- We can be overly concerned about our safety before there is a threat, that we bring encumbering logistical challenges to every plan before any action can be initiated. ÖExhaustive Processes.
- We can become so fretful about experiencing pain, before the diagnosis or relationship failure, that we sabotage our opportunities for wellness and synergy. √Frenzied Existence.
- We can spend the best of our efforts projecting the worst possible outcomes concerning our career progression, job security, and earning potential that we literally become our worst enemy in performance outcomes. √Lost Opportunities.
- We can resist change in every area of our lives to the point that we miss the very changes that would bring the ultimate change we’ve hoped and prayed for. √Foolishness Extraordinaire.
While pro-active choices and preventive efforts are beautiful, wise, and appropriate, there is an extreme to everything that creates gridlock, chaos, and anxiety. When we allow negative thought patterns to take root – beyond the wisdom of pro-activity and the peace of prevention – we connect our internal energy to fear.
When internal energy and fear connect, our perspective is skewed to the point of blindness unto deceitfulness.
Yes, it is true: we can become so blind to the obvious facts and reality (truth) of our situation that we literally believe something that is not true about the situation. In truth, we become deceived – not because of being deceitful in behavior – but rather because we are blinded to the facts and reality of solutions. This is because internal energy and fear create powerful confinement.
The truth is that we are often fearful about what we might suffer or lose in the process of life’s problems, conflicts, obstacles, and challenges.
This brand of fear often leads to believing the lie of “exaggerated deception.” This type of exaggeration speaks in terms of “always”, “never”, “forever”, “everyone”, and “everything.” Altogether, speaking in the dialogue of this type of language leads us to dwelling in the Valley of “Oh, No!”
Dealing with Stinking Thinking
Together, deception and fear produce various levels of torturous anxiety. True, it might all be triggered by horrible, impossible circumstances. However, deception and fear are often perpetuated by the way we choose to continue thinking about the possibilities, solutions, and outcomes. At the same time, we often forget to factor in the reasonable probabilities – you know, some logical thinking.
As a third line tool that has an endless lifespan, we can choose to manage our thought life much like we manage our time or our spending or our electronic exposure. We can utilize an age-old tool of wisdom called “Whatsoever Things”.
It goes like this, Think on These Things:
- Whatsoever things are True: facts and reality.
- Whatsoever things are Honorable: honest, moral, ethical, and principled.
- Whatsoever things are Right: true or correct as a fact; good and acceptable.
- Whatsoever things are Pure: free of contamination; wholesome and fresh.
- Whatsoever things are Lovely: exquisitely beautiful; pleasant and enjoyable.
- Whatsoever things are Admirable: deserving of respect and approval.
- Whatsoever things are Excellent: extremely good or outstanding.
- Whatsoever things are Worthy of Praise: deserving effort, attention, or respect.
Think on these things!
Purposefully Seeking Freedom
Ultimately, we each hold the key to individual freedom from the ultimate confinement! Through it all, we always control one thing in life – our thought life.
What power! What potential! What joy! What peace!
What a challenge, too!
Ultimately though, what freedom – not only for ourselves – but also for the amazing impact and influence upon the lives of others!
Good points. The challenge is switching from “can’t escape” to “will escape”. Once that is done, how becomes pretty straightforward. This article reminds me of a story about someone being in a prison without walls. Each of us has heard such a story. May it be from the original episode of “The Fly” where the scientist was trapped in the Fly’s body; or a man trapped in the body of a swamp beast. The prisoner acts the same way, frustrated, outraged, and making the ultimate choice to how to escape. Though these stories are works of fiction, they choices the prisoners made were very relatable.
Thank you, Chris, for these great points. They are very true and add more value to the thought line of the article. In many ways, a prison without bars is worse than one with bars because it allows us to walk in such powerful denial of the root issues contributing to the confinement (limitations upon victorious living). At least in a prison with bars, there is little chance of escape from looking at that which confines, thus offering continual opportunity to honestly look at the root cause(s). Again, thanks for your input. Devaney
I felt like I was on a journey as I read your Article. First was curiosity and as I read further the article pulled me in. I saw solutions followed by deeper questions. Then the phrase Still Immobilized by What Remains made me realize I was on a deeper journey but along the way this article gave me tools and knowledge to help me on my path. Now I am excited to use my new found knowledge. Thank you for an inspiring Article.
Thank you, Larry, for these encouraging thoughts. It’s been my journey, too. So, I relate! Blessings.
Larry, the previous comment was from me, Devaney.