The Two Of Us

“Images of innocence charge him to go on

But the decadence of destiny is looking for a pawn

To a nightmare of knowledge, he opens up the gate

A blinding revelation is laid upon his plate

That beneath the greatest love there is a hurricane of hate

And God help the critic of the dawn… “

Crucifixion – Phil Ochs

We knew how to hate. We knew how to love. We knew how to “gunny sack” (Gunnysacking has been described as ‘an alienating fight tactic in which a person saves up, or gunnysacks, grievances until the sack gets too heavy and bursts and old hostilities pour out’.) as we were told we were doing. We did that drill over and over again until it was ad nauseam. We knew to expect what we did not expect and to accept what was not anticipated but expected one way or another. Love that can be ripped apart at the seams could always be sewn together so the scars were never revealed.

“Love can go, love can grow

Did she love me? I don’t know

Though she often told me so

I never really know

Was I blind? I don’t mind

I think life’s been more than kind

Thanks to life there was the time… “

When Annie took me, home – Tom Paxton

Going back again there were the old trolley tracks peeking out from under the worn out asphalt. We both can remember that sight. Riding home from the L train Rockaway Parkway on buses that were packed so tightly with people who breathing became a chore. Each jerking stop at seemingly every traffic light. The tensions felt from the moment we had to hop from the bus stairs onto what small semblance of a sidewalk that there was just across the street of the apartment complex we lives in for too many years. A short walk used to take forever as there were detours for safety that had be taken.

When the final time to leave became the time we actually left to head out to Long Island. Tearful goodbyes to many friends who were also packing up and leaving. Time had brought many changes to the area adding fuel to the time to leave fire. Telephone numbers and addresses were exchanged yet somehow none of us ever reunited or so much as wrote. We went with our lives as did they. Sometimes people leave your life and you discover it was for the best.

Days lost with hearts broken. Deaths that came meant life would never be the same. We took to heart what each had said sometimes not really realizing what had been said was not meant to sound that way at all. Adjusting to so many adjustments made it very hard. Nobody told me you could make a right turn on a red light. There was little said about much of anything. The tree-lined streets with the fabulous fresh air made it seem so worthwhile. The new school never told us that if you did not call the school the morning your child was going to be absent they would consider it an “illegal absence.” No, they don’t call police or anything even close but if you have too many “illegal absences” you might not make it to the next grade. Yes, he did make it but not long after that he was on his way to yet another new school that temporarily changed our lives forever until we changed our lives again. At least at every stop along the way there as money but only until the new school meant going away to Summer sleepaway camp which cost a lot of money.

What it has boiled down to is weaving life through a loom while intertwining each strand into patterns with different colors until it all came together as one thing. Each stretched strand pulled as far as it can go until it reached the other side of the frame is what was felt inside. From six beating hearts living under one roof but in three bedrooms there then became just three beating hearts under one roof with three bedrooms. Too many of too many was way too many. It just never stopped perhaps because it could not stop or it was not meant to stop. Who could remember why one said to do things one way while the other one said to do things a different way.

Tomorrow (if there is a tomorrow) will begin a new day. How will tomorrow be different from today? Two of us are now just two of us since everybody has moved away into onto their own brave new worlds. Our lives and their lives are forever bound. The two of us are now just the two of us. Life takes you in the direction you are predestined to go. Wherever or whenever we go we will just go. Just the two of us.


Joel Elveson
Joel Elveson
INDEPENDENT Executive Recruiting By Joel is an "up and coming" Executive Search Firm formed and headed up by Joel Elveson whose visionary ideas, leadership & creativity have brought to life a more "user-friendly" approach to recruiting. His clients and candidates form powerful strategic partnerships that we use to help you. Joel’s Firm offers Permanent, Temporary (case by case), & Temporary To Permanent staffing solutions for all of your Human Capital Requirements. Contract IT/Consultants are available if needed. Above and beyond they are experts (by way of their personal industry work experience) with mortgage, mortgage banking, middle-market banking, accounting, along with many others under the vast financial spectrum of disciplines. Their business goes beyond candidate recruiting as they also train, mentor and develop your internal recruiting staff with an eye towards helping you reduce the cost of hiring. They will also work in areas such as compensation, effective onboarding processes and alike. In other words, their business is to help your business by becoming an extension of you by filling in gaps that cause delay or waste. The recruiting methods employed by Joel’s team are time tested that results in a high rate of successful placements. Joel was trained in the art of recruiting by some of the top staffing industry executives in addition to the best recruiter trainers who to this day drive me to exceed the lofty goals he has set forth.

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    • Jonathan, thank you yet again for your words that obviously came from your heart. So many experiences, years, and tears went into the writing of this article.