The issue that can derail people from overcoming fear and not achieving the things that they desire in their lives is that they look at success as a destination and not a journey.
What I commonly see is that people define themselves as successful once the task, goal, or outcome is complete. They work hard along the way, overcoming the fears and challenges in their journey. It is only after they reach the endpoint that they see themselves as successful. For them, success is all or none. They are not successful during the journey, only once they complete it.
The problem with this approach is that success is seen as an all or none and by having this mental attitude, people will see themselves as a failure if they do not achieve the outcome that they desire. If they fall short of your goal while having this mindset, they may see themselves as a failure and not as a success. Having feelings of failure could make it more challenging to get back up and make another run at the goal that they desire. Therefore, their time frame of success is based on a future outlook. Pay attention, because this is very important in the understanding of success.
Success is not based on a future outlook, success is based on your present outlook.
The optimal way to set yourself up for success is to have the mindset that you are successful now, before you even take on the task or DO the steps to overcome the fear.
So why is it important to have a mindset of success right now as opposed to delayed gratification and waiting for it later? Because when you are adopting this mindset of delayed gratification, you are not appreciating the fact that you are indeed successful right now. The very fact that you are reading this and learning the techniques that I have presented will help you realize that you are already successful now. You are taking the steps to move your life in the direction of overcoming your fears and achieve the outcomes that you desire. Therefore, you are successful now even before you have started the actual act of trying to overcome the fear!
Do you realize this?
And there are many more benefits of having a present mindset of success as opposed to a future mindset of success. Let’s take a look at the chart below to compare success now and later so that you will begin to understand the importance of this concept and the mindset that you need to develop.
So, let’s review this table in more detail to have a better understanding of the importance of having a mindset that is present instead of a mindset of the future.
Let me ask you this: Do you appreciate the small victories that you have in life or do you discard them because they are not “big” enough for you? Now is the time to begin to understand the importance of that, the importance of self-congratulation. By congratulating yourself over the small victories and progress that you have made and continuing to add to your stores of confidence that will compound over time, you will begin overtaking the underlying fear.
Your overall job with overcoming the fear is to act first, from a physical standpoint. By taking that action, you are slowly, over time, building your mental confidence through the small victories that you will achieve. And as you have small victories, continue to congratulate yourself, and see your success it will continue to add the fuel and momentum that will sustain your path towards achieving the outcome in overcoming the fear.
Think of it in this way: Would you rather make a six-hour trip in the car that you have never been in the driver’s seat of before, not knowing the fuel mileage that you can get, and hope that you can reach your destination on a single tank of gas? Or, would you rather make that same six-hour trip in this unfamiliar vehicle and stop every two hours, stretch to reflect on the fun of the journey, and fill the tank back up? Because what can happen during this trip is that you can run into traffic, get a flat tire, have to take bathroom breaks, or just get physically tired and need a short break. Like life, you may run into traffic in the form of obstacles or setbacks or you may get mentally fatigued during your journey. However, if you are constantly filling your tank and have the satisfaction that you are maximizing your efforts for success, you significantly increase your chances that you will reach your destination.
And that brings us to our next point where you see the outcome as a final event and termination. That is having the mindset that you’re only happy when you have reached your destination. Success is a continuous journey, like our journey in the car. It’s kind of like you are driving through multiple states and taking the time to stop, sightsee, and enjoy the ride. The success is not in the destination but in the journey and adventure towards your outcome.
Successes are the waypoints that allow you to sustain the ride. As you feel more successful, you get less discouraged and appreciate more of what you have already accomplished.
Appreciating the progress that you have made helps you to reflect upon why you decided to take this journey in the first place. The small victories that you achieve build up over time. As you continue to drive forward, you are not only overcoming your fear but growing into a more powerful and successful version of you.
As you’re driving along on your journey, the visualizations that you have built in your mind are becoming a manifestation of your physical being. As you begin to overcome the fear and see that you are successful now, you begin to appreciate the little things, the little steps that are transforming you physically. The further you go along your journey, you become a little less stressed and a little more relaxed. You begin to realize that you’re not as anxious and you appreciate that you are breathing more calmly and effectively. You begin to see the small little steps that you have overcome.
Where would this be helpful? Say you’re driving in your car and you get a flat tire. Now, if you haven’t been appreciating the journey and have no success to build upon, you may get frustrated at this point, which can derail your entire trip because you don’t have a mindset that will help get you over the obstacle. But, if you’ve been developing small victories and have that mindset of success along the journey, you might recall the beautiful sites that you see and appreciate the obstacles that you have overcome. You’ll begin to have more drive for completing the journey because of your desire to experience even the small victories along the way.
So, by having the mindset of success, you are not feeling empty at this point because you have visual and physical memories and victories to fall back on, which in turn means that you don’t have to rely on getting to your destination. Obviously, that is the endpoint, to completely overcome the fear and have an outcome of completion. However, it’s not necessary because you are already successful now because of the small victories that you have built and the roads that you’ve already traveled.
When you feel yourself on the sidelines, like that car with a flat tire, it gives you that time to reflect, that time to think about how far your journey has taken you. It’s like double-checking your GPS to make sure that you’re still on the right track. It’s like double-checking your core values to make sure that the path that you are on is still congruent with the initial core values that you established for yourself. You can ask yourself, “Are my small victories and levels of success now continuing to grow me into the person I choose to be?”
By having this time to reflect upon your journey, by having a mindset of being successful right now and not waiting for it in the future, you will begin to discover and appreciate that success is all about the journey. It’s about taking the small steps of success, one by one, building upon them and appreciating that every time you drive forward one more inch, one more mile. Success is within you now and your outcome is just a greater manifestation of what you’re experiencing today.
Until next time, take care and be well!