The Struggle of Playing a Character

I once had a private client who was struggling with anxiety because she didn’t feel free to truly be herself. She was very successful. Very well known in her hometown. Her clients loved her! She loved what she did…but she didn’t feel happy.

She felt the need to lie to her clients and say she was doing something she wasn’t doing. She hid certain things from others. She didn’t even feel comfortable being seen on the street anymore for fear that someone would see her doing something that didn’t align with the image she put out on social media and in her business.

And when I sat down with her for the first time she told me that she was tired of playing the character that she thought was best suited to what she did. She was always feeling anxious and down. But she wasn’t able to see a way out. She was stuck.

She was afraid that if people knew that she was just a normal person, with flaws, who made mistakes and was not perfect, they would no longer want to work with her. She would no longer be seen as a role model.

What she didn’t realize is that in fact, the people who, despite their flaws and fears, manage to overcome their obstacles are the ones that inspire others.

Perfection does not inspire. Because perfection is untouchable. And so it is perceived as an impossible goal to achieve.

Vulnerability has to stop being seen as something to be avoided. Our pains, our difficulties, and our small and mundane joys are what make us human. It is what makes us relatable.

As Brené Brown said “Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it’s having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome. Vulnerability is not weakness; it’s our greatest measure of courage.”

Are you being courageous?


Char Murphy
Char Murphy
I’m a 15-year former practicing attorney, now three-time book author, speaker, featured contributing author to such amazing organizations as, Motivation Champs, BIZCATALYST 360, P.O.W.E.R.(Professional Organization of Women of Excellence), REVIVAL Sanctuary for Women in Business, Breast Cancer Wellness Magazine. I’m Passionate about lending hope, inspiration, and empowerment through my writings and my spoken words for those who have fallen, lost on their path and questioning, why me, who am I now and why am I here I do this by sharing my story of abuse, thriving through breast cancer four times, losing my law career and practice, my newly remodeled home, my husband, my identity of “who I thought I was”. Pulling myself back up, taking a few deep breaths, dusting off...going deep within, consulting the inner alchemist we all are, to re-create and co-create with the universe myself anew. To transform and transcend all the many unknowns, to living my true passion and purpose. My greatest rewards in life have been born out of the thrill of knowing I have helped someone else struggling to get back up and finding their direction, purpose, and living their greatest dreams. To heal, with a renewed inner strength and power, knowing it was all meant to be. And being grateful for all of it. That’s the magic we as individuals and a part of humanity as a whole are capable of. Realizing that we are made up of those beautiful gems that lie waiting inside ourselves, that have always been there...just waiting to be discovered. I’m here now, to tell you, YOU ARE the Power. You have more resources, strength, courage, beauty than you can imagine right in your very beingness. Reach in and take hold of that wisdom and truth. Own it! Step out and up, love, and embrace fully the authenticity which IS you and always has been. And never let it go.

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  1. Hi Eva Marie,
    Do you go by just Eva or Eva Marie. I love that name, it’s very pretty and fits you perfectly!
    Thanks for this candid response. Honestly, I feel like if most people were to be completely honest, they too would admit to suffering from anxiety. At least at some point in their life. I can tell you, that I certainly have. It can feel devastating and overwhelming at times. Feel free to pm me at any time. While I do not hold myself out to be a professional in this area. I would be happy to speak with you just as friends and share some things that have helped me out over the years.
    Thanks again for showing up as the authentic you. Remember, none of us are perfect!
    Sending love,

  2. Thanks for your response Aldo. And that’s exactly right in my belief as well.
    We must develop these abilities. Admitting our mistakes is only the beginning of the process. Recognizing them first is crucial to taking the next step of admitting to them. Then the magic can start to unfold.

  3. I believe that the person do not have to follow the urge to be perfect but to simply be human, recognizing own vulnerability to experiences as the shame, judgment, reprimand, asking in order to learn. Admit his own limitations is the key to everything, is a sign of courage and ability to collaborate. We become adults the day when we become able to admit mistakes.