The Story Of He She Junior

Vantage Points Header Joel Elveson This was my first (and to my knowledge only attempt) at short story writing which was written during my days in the 7th Grade at the New York School of Printing here in New York City. The story is somewhat difficult to follow as I went in different directions with each section. Here is the story which I hope you will find it enjoyable. Just two people being as one.

He Senior and she Junior were the first of two very unusual people. He was an insurance salesman by day and a lover of life by night. She was a progressive law student and very much into yoga and Quaaludes. Quite usual for someone who that would make one so unusual.

On this night that was like so many others of this kind, the two as one unknowingly conceived the special one. Of course it couldn’t or wouldn’t happen or so they both thought. Who would dare think it was possible. Wither her and her magic Quaaludes and he with his dam Whole life Insurance policies. It just did not seem possible.

As you may have guessed nine months after that evening like all others something unlike all others came to be. I mean it just couldn’t happen. What, with him and his damn Whole Life policies and her with her Quaaludes it just could not happen. It did and as usual in the in the usual way.

After much trial and tribulation it was decided to the name their unlikely male creation He Junior and their unlikely female creation She Junior. For He Junior was just plain and She Junior was just what she was so it all made perfect sense. He Junior did not seem to think so.

He Junior turned 10 years old on a clear crisp morning in early September. What would be the best way to celebrate this momentous occasion? That was the questions facing the chosen ones on this clear crisp morning in early September. All of a sudden he leapt up from his mahogany be and screamed out “ I didn’t ask to born into this stinking world.”

This sudden burst of hostility was greeted with a rare personal appearance from his parents who rare lived with He and She Junior, quickly explained to their special creations that there was no reason for He Juniors room to be filled with such screams of hostility and rage. With that they turned away to go about their dull and drab lives again.

Later that fine week He and She Junior were finally registered for formal schooling. A red brick building was presented to the divine ones for their approval. With one cold and calculating stare He Junior likened the red brick building with marble corner stones as a zoo for underprivileged ants. Nevertheless He Junior and She Junior reluctantly agreed to give this school thing a try.

On the first day inside this statuesque red brick building with the marble corner stones He Junior promptly defecated on the shiny oak wood floor that lined each floor of the building. Not being satisfied with his initial bit of attention getting, he let out a blood-curdling scream of “I didn’t ask to be brought to this stinking place. He Junior’s rant reverberated throughout the room until the stern-faced instructor put down his fresh piece of chalk to reprimand the boy. With that little bit of formality out-of-the-way He Junior quipped, “well at least I am original.”

His simpleton mother was summoned the next morning. She the first started that morning with her usual routines of eating Wheat Germ cereal and then into rhythmic yoga exercises along with her usual dose of Quaaludes.

Upon arrival at the school on that damp and dingy morning She The First was immediately confronted by He Junior’s teacher Mr. Oloff Quasimoto. The blond-haired teacher clasped the tiny hands of He Junior’s mother and said, “Hi there I am Mr. Quasimoto your sons teacher.” She glanced up at him and just sniffled. Mr. Quasimoto with the most quizzical of looks on his face cleared his throat and said, “ Frankly I find your son’s behavioral patterns most unusual if not disturbing. For no apparent reason other than for his own entertainment purposes will drop his pants and defecate on the floor.” She The First again looked up and just explained that He Junior’s behavior is just relevant to what his physical being is. Having gotten that momentous statement out-of-the-way the teach determined a visit from He Senior was in order.

Several weeks and a couple of Escrow Accounts later He Junior waltzed through the iron wrought doors of the school at exactly 9:07am. Mr Quasimoto and He Senior briskly shook hands. With that formality out-of-the-way the two men sat down to the task of what to do about the odd yet disturbing behavior of He Junior. “All I can think of is that my son feels unwanted” exclaimed he Senior. I guess you could say he was very unexpected. With a combination huff and sigh that Mr. Quasimoto let out before saying, “well that may have something to do with it but there is still something quite peculiar about this child.” All the studying that Mr. Quasimoto learned under never quite prepared him for this. With that the toe men again briskly shook hands and bid each other good day without resolution as to what to do about He Junior.

Halloween came at it usual time in October. He Junior was still wreaking havoc in school and screaming by night. Being it the time of the year when ghosts and ghoulish creatures inhabit the streets, He Junior decided to masquerade as the Headless Horseman. Having made this decision he tried in vain to chop is head off. A task he could not easily nor successfully accomplish. He parents at the height of their dismay and despair decided to let nature take its course and pray for this phase to pass. A most unusual reaction to a most unusual child. While this was going on He Junior was busy running through the darkened streets bleeding profusely.

The years came and went with the speed of light since that faithful night when He Junior tried in vain to chop off his own head so that he could realistically parade around as the Headless Horseman. He Junior now at the ripe old age of 13 has seen fit to replace his violent outbursts with grandiose dreams and anxiety attacks. Although a more subdued He Junior pranced around the oak wood house he lived in there was this uneasiness that hung in the air as to what He Junior would do next. His beleaguered parents are still at a loss to explain how they could have conceived such an unusual and disturbing child.

One the eve of He Junior’s fourteenth revolution around the seasons an anxiety attack struck him at the precise time of 3:15am awakening the strange one from a semi-comatose state. He leapt out of bed and screamed “world you had better stop this foolishness now!” His parents more or less resigned to the fact that their son was not of the norm ignored this outburst and continued on with their sleeping, snoring, sniffling and occasional throat clearing.

The very next morning in the quaint town of Sequin, Washington where the Junior family resided, he Junior arose and journeyed into the main part of the city. This activity did nothing to alter the morning rituals of the other inhabitants of the household. She The First did her daily yoga exercises and took her usual dose of Quaaludes. He Senior Junior hastily adjusted his tie and shoved some Escrow Account Applications for dead people into his monogrammed briefcase. While this flurry of activity was going on He Junior was busy applying for a job as a newspaper apprentice. He figured it was the only way he could reach people and perhaps even become a normal person or so he thought.

Day into night and night into day went the rest of the 14th year of existence for He Junior. He attacked his new job with all the zealousness of a kitten playing with a ball of yarn. Editing, reading and the little writing he could do were his tasks to perform. Although things seemed to be sailing along smoothly it was only a matter of time before the calmness was replaced by the now famous bits of rage. On one fine day Hue Junior attempted to lop of the left hand of his boss. After all, his boss had the audacity to criticize the teen and point that horribly hairy hand at him. Fir his efforts He Junior was placed in a juvenile home for mentally disturbed adolescent truant boys. Thusly a new chapter of one so unusual had now begun.

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Joel Elveson
Joel Elveson
INDEPENDENT Executive Recruiting By Joel is an "up and coming" Executive Search Firm formed and headed up by Joel Elveson whose visionary ideas, leadership & creativity have brought to life a more "user-friendly" approach to recruiting. His clients and candidates form powerful strategic partnerships that we use to help you. Joel’s Firm offers Permanent, Temporary (case by case), & Temporary To Permanent staffing solutions for all of your Human Capital Requirements. Contract IT/Consultants are available if needed. Above and beyond they are experts (by way of their personal industry work experience) with mortgage, mortgage banking, middle-market banking, accounting, along with many others under the vast financial spectrum of disciplines. Their business goes beyond candidate recruiting as they also train, mentor and develop your internal recruiting staff with an eye towards helping you reduce the cost of hiring. They will also work in areas such as compensation, effective onboarding processes and alike. In other words, their business is to help your business by becoming an extension of you by filling in gaps that cause delay or waste. The recruiting methods employed by Joel’s team are time tested that results in a high rate of successful placements. Joel was trained in the art of recruiting by some of the top staffing industry executives in addition to the best recruiter trainers who to this day drive me to exceed the lofty goals he has set forth.

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