Many have asked me how COVID has changed my life. How I got through the first lockdown. So, here we go… hereby my experience.
To be short; COVID helped me to go within. As there was nowhere else to go.
Who knows on a higher level that might have been the reason why COVID happened? To go within. To look at ourselves, our lives, our relationships, our occupation, our economy, and how we treat each other, Mother Earth, ourselves. Are we truly living our truth?
“The sudden quiet was unreal”
I was in Spain where the outbreak was tremendous from one day to the next. It spread like crazy and the government called in a total lockdown; meaning 100m outside of your house was allowed ONLY if you had a dog, if not the military police questioned you with a machine gun by their side as if you were a drug dealer. As a sensitive person I have to admit, I struggled there for a bit. As if people weren’t afraid enough, this approach certainly didn’t resonate with me.
Going to the supermarket/pharmacy was allowed. Two months later going for a walk at certain times. Especially the first few weeks felt like being in a Zombie movie. I couldn’t believe it! Quiet streets. Closed shops and restaurants. No people. No noise! The Spanish are known to make a lot of noise, so the sudden quiet was unreal.
I started to notice birds singing in the morning. So joyful and so many! I suddenly heard the sound of passing sheep and their Sheppard in the dry river in front of the house. A rooster on the other side of the valley. The tranquility was almost crispy like in winter when the first snow. I could hear Mother Earth breathe; I felt her relief. No airplane stripes in the sky. No smog at the horizon above the sea. Nothing but silence.
The thought of people dying in the entire world was horrible, but I felt nature thrived. The ever so busy world finally paused, taking ten steps back. More and more people around me admitted to using the time to reflect.
But what helped me the most, was taking the time to go inward
I started to create routines like changing my diet, doing exercises, and lost a lot of unnecessary weight. I called up long lost friends to make up for lost times and had the best conversations with lots of revelations of truth.
But what helped me the most, was finally taking the time to go inward. As a human, but also as a musician. I started to look for my own sound! Day after day I was able to make music in the basement of the Airbnb I was staying and connected to my heart, my spirit, the why I am doing music. And in doing so I found my true voice! The style of music I really wanted to make. The message I want to deliver. Far beyond the ego of me being a musician, I wanted to move hearts and I knew I had to start with my own.
I sang and sang, tried out new ways, expanded, cried, screamed, and in the process healed. As if something had been locked up inside that was now freed. I sang for myself! I made music for myself. Something I had never done before. It was always for others.
By the time I was finally able to travel back home again, everything changed! The right people came on my path. Producers, musicians, filmmakers, vloggers, and magazines. New audience found me and I them.
Yes financially I have been hit hard and sometimes have no clue where to go, but what came instead is that people (even bank clerks, my physiotherapist, restaurant owners, gas station clerks started to follow my Spotify or Youtube, just to give me support. The company that manages my copyrights has given full circle support and is teaching me patiently how to use new tools. I started online classes, started writing again, and working daily on many things I never took the time for.
But this is what is…
I had to find ways to adjust as there are no live concerts. I am focusing on online music now, license music for videos, film, and still sharing what I love to do most; moving hearts with words and music, writing articles in combination with music videos. In the meantime, I am connecting with people I would like to have on my team or collaborate with.
Trust me, I miss the live audience, the thrill, the synergy with the guys on stage, the excitement of feeling like a child on tour seeing landscapes change while we jam in the bus, the freedom to be able to jump in my car and drive to my producer to work a week on the new album and record the vocals. I miss jamming with my friends, hugs, and kisses, being with my friends.
But this is what is… at the moment.
I try to focus on the now as much as I can, finding unity within. Unity with everything that is and focus on what makes me happy or sit with whatever occurs when I don’t. I am totally aware of how hard this is for so many people who have been hit personally. I am just very grateful I am on this side of the road; healthy and alive and I count my blessings. I am grateful for the people around me. My loved ones who are still ok. I am grateful for what it gave me. The lessons and discoveries. The healing that took place. I can only hope that energy and love is sent into the Universe and travels wherever it is needed.
Stay safe beautiful reader. Wherever you are.
Song: Won’t Bring Me Down