The Secret

How come I can’t do what I want? Why am I not satisfied with my life? Why do I feel like something is wrong inside of myself? Maybe I make some mistakes?

Many people struggle with these questions in the hectic world we live in today.

If you like something or feel compelled to do something, you want to dedicate yourself body and soul to it. And you try everything you can to do it. But in doing everything you can, you must necessarily give up something. You have to give the biggest space of yourself to that something you want to dedicate to. You can’t do everything at the same time. And what is the thing you sacrifice to dedicate yourself to that something you want to or must do? You sacrifice your self. You lay down your life. You sacrifice your person and the essence of who you are: your inner self, your inwardness. This is what happens 100% of the time. The more stressful life is, the more you feel the burden of it; because you are overwhelmed by the “noise” of the world and things that have nothing to do with the voice of your inwardness. That’s the door that leads to misery. There is no way out of it because the “noise” of the world is deafening. Everybody wants everything from you, covertly or openly, on their terms, not yours, and you end up becoming a deaf robot who does things mechanically, without thinking. Even if you convinced yourself otherwise.

How do you get out of this vicious circle? It’s a little hard but … at the end of the day, it’s not that hard. We can’t aim for TOTAL HAPPINESS in this world … but … there is one fundamental question that needs to be considered.

Everything … EVERYTHING that comes from outside of you, does not come from inside of you. It might sound like a play on words but it’s not. The point here is that you are not intrinsically (into the depths of your Soul) part of anything coming from outside of yourself. It is not you. The real YOU is inside of yourself, not outside. What really matters to you is your inwardness. Everything else should be secondary.

Literally whatever … friendships … relationships … job … politics … tv … career … technology … you are just listening to the “noise” of the world … but our ears and our eyes let what comes from outside of us get into our INSIDE, and when it goes into our INSIDE, it moulds you because it’s powerful, it’s huge. It modifies you, in a way, and makes you lose your real self. There is only one thing that is an exception to this principle: feelings, but feelings also must be positive or do not work, whatever the feelings, they must give you positive sensations, because when feelings make you gnash your teeth … even them must be considered external to yourself … so secondary … non-existent … or else, they, too, will add up to the “noise” of the world, making you a slave.

What I mean is that you are who you are. Happiness (understood as inner peace and self-confidence) can only come from self-awareness. Self-awareness is the capacity that a person has to introspect … namely, to examine and to pay the utmost attention to your own ideas, thoughts, and feelings that come from deep inside, without any external conditioning. In short, self-consciousness must be borne out of the requirement of deep analysis and rumination about human behavior and motivation. Your behavior, your motivation … and it must correspond to your inwardness, or someday it will hold you to account.

Everything that isn’t processed by your inner self and your inwardness, haunts you day after day in the form of subtle and insidious anxiety … discomfort … or at worst, even illness. When I say “processed”, I mean, it has to come from YOU, in the form of a wholehearted desire, on the basis of who you really are or … you will be “that” person … what others expect of you … someone other than who you really are in your very soul. Escaping from what scares you or what you want to silence inside of yourself does not solve anything, on the contrary, it makes everything more complicated, difficult and tangled. You will always be a prisoner of what you have not faced because you can escape from everyone and everything but yourself. You can be ambiguous with everyone, except with yourself.

You can even have all the money in the world, it doesn’t matter. You must be yourself if you want to get the first glimpse of happiness. Cost what it may.

It goes without saying that I am not saying that the alternative is … you either live like a shellfish or like a serial killer, to name just two extreme examples. I am not saying that you should slap (or kiss) everyone who stands in your way. I am just saying that when we “calibrate” the external world (and everything that comes with it) with what we really feel and who we really are, deep inside, (not the other way around) we do good to ourselves. I am just saying to listen to the voice inside you, coming from deep within your soul. The voice we often don’t want to listen to. This voice is the telltale sign of a keen restlessness that subtly envelope our lives.

We often create incommunicability, because we want to adhere at all costs to the “stage” of life.

If you don’t have time or patience anymore … if you don’t feel like to understand everything and everyone … if you no longer try to please others … but you look for what you like … if you don’t want fake smiles … obligated courtesy … or relationships of convenience … your inner self is telling you something. LISTEN TO IT. LISTEN TO THE LANGUAGE OF YOUR INNER SELF. That’s the only thing that can speak for your inner self.

Do you know how plants behave when you don’t water them for a few days? The leaves become soft, instead of rising towards the light they fall down like the ears of a depressed rabbit. Don’t let your life become like a waterless plant. Be Yourself. No matter what.

When the roar of the world becomes deafening … and many roads open before you and you don’t know which one to take, don’t take one at random, for personal convenience or for conformity, but sit and wait. Breathe with the confident depth with which you breathed the day you came into the world, without being distracted by anything. Stand still, in silence, and listen to your inner self. When your inner self-talks to you, get up and go where he takes you.

You cannot live a life of compromises and denial of yourself like on a stage of conformity and conventions, by waiting for your existence to become something else because in doing so you’re ignoring who you really are and wasting what you have in your hands now. The so much awaited tomorrow may not be up to expectations. So, be yourself. Whether the world likes it or not. What is worth living for? There are a number of things worth living for, but the one that really matters is to be YOURSELF.

The “movie set” of life prevents you from having pure feelings. It prevents you from having a sincere and healthy communication, and the voice inside yourself can no longer find life. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if others like you or not, because life is yours and your MUST is first and foremost to feel good about yourself. Don’t be afraid, you will find your path anyway, no matter what.

Thank you …


Massimo Scalzo
Massimo Scalzo
YOU MIGHT SAY that Massimo advises big and small companies, entrepreneurs and individuals on how to craft digital strategies that get tangible results from their tactics. Which is true. You might even agree with few german managers who called him “gute schlepper” (good tugboat in English) because of his inner strenght of pulling people toward visionary and positive goals. However, neither of these statements would be completely true. The truth is that from his childhood, Massimo was fed and watered to be someone who relates to people, is constructive, multilingual, loves the life and looks at the future. And the most amazing thing that came out of his attitude is the ability of conveying the same feeling to others For nearly twenty eight years he traveled and worked in management consulting in eight countries. His thoughts, notions, ideas, speaking engagements come from more than thirteen years as an entrepreneur and fourteen plus “on the road” for Touche & Ross, Deloitte and PricewaterHouse. On his path, he learned a great deal about customer-driven strategy and transformation, digital marketing and design thinking, working on behalf of a-z roster of clients, e.g. IBM, BMW, Frost & Sullivan, SAP, Oracle, Fiat, Salesforce, Accenture, OpenMinds and many other SMEs in several countries and industries. Massimo lives (as much as he can) in the greater Frankfurt area in Germany. He loves his two kids, Massimo and Amelka, more than anything else.

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