The Secret Strategy: How to Influence People and Win Over Anyone

influence-motivate-inspireThe famous actress Kathryn Hepburn once said, when asked how she became so fascinating, “I only seem fascinating – the trick is to make other people feel fascinating, then they think you’re the fascinating one”.

Social gatherings  are a great time to practice this art; most people want to talk about themselves – their year, their problems, their accomplishments.

When you’re at a business  party or social event,  resist the temptation to hold forth about yourself (even when asked, most of the time, “how are you?” is simply an automatic greeting, not a genuine request for information)

Instead, turn the conversation around, and ask the other person all about them.   What they say isn’t as important as the fact that you’re listening. And voila! They may end up thinking you’re the fascinating one!

[bctt tweet=”The art of Influence can be learned; use the power tools of attentiveness and observation.” via=”no”]

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ATTENTIVENESS = Doing it with Empathy
  •  Listen with an open mind
  • Cultivate a genuine interest in others
  • Learn to ask smart questions
OBSERVATION Doing it With Intuition
  • Tune in to what is unsaid. Body language may be even telling than the words that are spoken.
  • Watch for body postures and gestures, as well as voice patterns[/message][su_spacer]
And who knows? you may indeed find that you are even more fascinated by someone, once you have truly listened!

Elaina Zuker
Elaina Zukerhttp://www.ezinfluence.com/
ELAINA is the president of Elaina Zuker Associates in Montréal, Canada. She has taught seminars to hundreds of employees and managers at major corporations such as AT&T, IBM, American Express, and MCI International, and is a frequent keynote speaker at conferences and industry events. She is the author of six books, on leadership, management, and communication. Her best-selling book, “The Seven Secrets of Influence” (McGraw-Hill), the recent Main Selection for the Business Week Book Club, has been translated into four languages and its new, revised 2021 edition is now available on Amazon in paperback and as an e-book on Amazon Kindle. Her new book about Peer Mentoring YOUX2 has also just been launched on Amazon. Her internationally successful program “Secrets of Influence ™ is now available as an online learning program, either as a completely online self-study program or in a hybrid version. The program, created with the latest educational technology, can also be customized for an organization’s specific requirements. Ms. Zuker holds a B.A. in Psychology, an M.A. in Management/Organizational Development, and is the 2004 recipient of the Alumni Achievement Award from New York Polytechnic University. To engage Ms. Zuker as a speaker or consultant, to book a seminar for your company or organization, or to learn how to become a licensed Affiliate for Secrets of Influence, visit www.ezinfluence.com or contact us at [email protected]